My Underlying Issue Has Surfaced
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
I know for myself only that many of my drinking/drugging relapses started occuring long before I picked up and used....look you will be okay and I'm pulling for you...I attend AA but also use AVRT and I know when that addictive voice starts talking...just ramp up your recovery...and give your wife some damn roses OK ;-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Spain
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by Grungehead 
Wow I had never heard of cyclothmia before. I just googled it and that seems to fit my symptoms well. I was diagnosed as "borderline bi-polar" by a former psychiatrist and I have lots of highs and lows, but none are extreme. Thanks for posting this. Sorry for the thread jack but this was a light bulb moment.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 442
Originally Posted by SomethingBetter
I need to get this out, I have had this bottled up too long...
Ive been sober since Feb 20th 2011 but it isn't all so great in some areas.
When I was young I wasn't very 'cool', i wasn't popular in fact i didn't really fit in anywhere, people called me shy, until I discovered alcohol, then things fell in place, friends, career, girls, wife etc...
30 years later...
After nearly 2-1/2 years of no alcohol I am finding I am socially dysfunctional, I have over 600 posts here, most while I was drinking, very few since.
I am actually ok with how I am, exept feeling really down at times but I built a career that needs me to be social, I need to talk to 10 to 20 people a day and some days I just cant pull off the act, i cringe when my phone rings...
I am self employed so I just let things go, doing what I can, but things are getting worse. The money is running out and the wife is upset, and there is just no way to tell the customers whats really going on.
Heres the thing, even though I made all those promises here on this forum, to never drink again, I just cant help to think that a few drinks are needed to take the edge off, just let me relax, and maybe do some business calls over a few drinks, get the ball rolling again, I quit drinking in the prime of my business.
I don't even want to drink but I cant get it out of my head that sobriety is killing my career, I am too old to do anything else as good as what I do, I am really good at my job when I feel like doing it.
I didn't even want to post this, But I thought maybe someone has experienced it too.
It's 4:45 AM again, and my mind just races.
My best educated guess is hypomania or manic depression, but I just don't trust doctors. I know this will pass, but at times i want to give in so bad to what I know will work, this time I didn't.
if I started back drinking, I really dont think I could quit again.
Ive been sober since Feb 20th 2011 but it isn't all so great in some areas.
When I was young I wasn't very 'cool', i wasn't popular in fact i didn't really fit in anywhere, people called me shy, until I discovered alcohol, then things fell in place, friends, career, girls, wife etc...
30 years later...
After nearly 2-1/2 years of no alcohol I am finding I am socially dysfunctional, I have over 600 posts here, most while I was drinking, very few since.
I am actually ok with how I am, exept feeling really down at times but I built a career that needs me to be social, I need to talk to 10 to 20 people a day and some days I just cant pull off the act, i cringe when my phone rings...
I am self employed so I just let things go, doing what I can, but things are getting worse. The money is running out and the wife is upset, and there is just no way to tell the customers whats really going on.
Heres the thing, even though I made all those promises here on this forum, to never drink again, I just cant help to think that a few drinks are needed to take the edge off, just let me relax, and maybe do some business calls over a few drinks, get the ball rolling again, I quit drinking in the prime of my business.
I don't even want to drink but I cant get it out of my head that sobriety is killing my career, I am too old to do anything else as good as what I do, I am really good at my job when I feel like doing it.
I didn't even want to post this, But I thought maybe someone has experienced it too.
It's 4:45 AM again, and my mind just races.
My best educated guess is hypomania or manic depression, but I just don't trust doctors. I know this will pass, but at times i want to give in so bad to what I know will work, this time I didn't.
if I started back drinking, I really dont think I could quit again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 55
I am severely introverted and I get completely overwhelmed when I have jobs where I have to talk all day. I deliberately avoided jobs where this would be an issue.
I also have social anxiety, which is a separate issue.
I don't really have any advice given your career and business, but I personally could not function in a job where I had to "perform" constantly.
I also have social anxiety, which is a separate issue.
I don't really have any advice given your career and business, but I personally could not function in a job where I had to "perform" constantly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Originally Posted by tomsteve
ya ever look up introvert?
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hey SB..I was reading through this thread and then saw it was a bit older..so I actually kinda raced to the end it see if you were still around. Oddly enough...I too was thinking "introvert"..and bam..there you are and Tomsteve had said it too! There is an excellent book called "Quiet"..about introverts. A good read.
Glad you are back. I'm interested in the answers to Fantail's questions also.
Glad you are back. I'm interested in the answers to Fantail's questions also.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Well it didn't help SB...so sober up and saddle up...again. It sounds like you were fighting to be something you really aren't. For me, sobriety is all about figuring out who I really am and learning to accept myself as is. Are you in sales?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Yea, so I’ll try, but what’s that really mean? Wake up with a hangover and say I am done, that I will quit, just to find the night with a different mindset… That’s not meant to be about your request or response, but about the actual fight I know I am up against…
Thank you, really thank you!
Thank you, really thank you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I'm sorry you're struggling SB.
For me the greatest tool I have in my recovery is accepting who I am.
That doesn't mean I think I'm awesome as I am or that I'm not open to improvement but I accept myself, warts and all.
that took a while, and some counselling.
I was an intovert who spent 20 years trying to be the party animal because getting wasted was the only way I could deal with social interaction without rocking back in forth in a corner hugging my knees.
I know my comfort zone now, I know my strengths and my weaknesses and I surround myself with people who know love and support the real me.
I'm no expert but it seems to me your answer might be somewhere in there SB...not the bottle.
D
For me the greatest tool I have in my recovery is accepting who I am.
That doesn't mean I think I'm awesome as I am or that I'm not open to improvement but I accept myself, warts and all.
that took a while, and some counselling.
I was an intovert who spent 20 years trying to be the party animal because getting wasted was the only way I could deal with social interaction without rocking back in forth in a corner hugging my knees.
I know my comfort zone now, I know my strengths and my weaknesses and I surround myself with people who know love and support the real me.
I'm no expert but it seems to me your answer might be somewhere in there SB...not the bottle.
D
Minx
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Nz
Posts: 35
The only thing that will ruin your career mate is if u DO drink, remember and accept we cannot drink like others, if your anything like me, u would just about have that deal closed, get on the **** and ruin it, probably end up sleeping with someone Unshouldn't have and make an absolute tit out of yourself .
Believe me the only way your career will blossom and grow is if u stay sober
Believe me the only way your career will blossom and grow is if u stay sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Thanks everyone for your support, I am trying to eat something now, it is amazing how fast this can grab hold of us after being away from it for so long, the thoughts of just one do come back to mind, foolish thoughts.
What’s more amazing is that people you don’t even know can relate to you more than people you have known all your life.
It’s good to be back, I will not drink tomorrow… (I want to say hope but will say will not)
What’s more amazing is that people you don’t even know can relate to you more than people you have known all your life.
It’s good to be back, I will not drink tomorrow… (I want to say hope but will say will not)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Someone on here once told me that NLP (Neuro-Linguistic programming) is really good for social anxiety. You might be a natural introvert, or you may have some kind of social phobia, or it may be something else entirely. That in itself is less important than what you do about it though. Drinking is not a good solution for anything. If you do not trust doctors how about a counsellor? Or get yourself some good books on CBT or NLP.
On a more personal note, you sound just like my boss. He has a job that requires him to entertain clients and be social, but he is terrible at it and it makes him really anxious so he just shuts down and ignores it. We tend to pick up the pieces and look after people though. Do you have staff or anyone you can delegate these responsibilities too?
On a more personal note, you sound just like my boss. He has a job that requires him to entertain clients and be social, but he is terrible at it and it makes him really anxious so he just shuts down and ignores it. We tend to pick up the pieces and look after people though. Do you have staff or anyone you can delegate these responsibilities too?
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
There are good non addictive meds .
I took zoloft for a while , it worked until I could rewire my brain .
But when I'm off work ,I don't answer my phone most of the time
I place high value on my privacy , and peace of mind .
I am my favorite person , and enjoy my own company just fine.
I took zoloft for a while , it worked until I could rewire my brain .
But when I'm off work ,I don't answer my phone most of the time
I place high value on my privacy , and peace of mind .
I am my favorite person , and enjoy my own company just fine.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Really glad you are standing up..and fighting again SB. I know that in the beginning...and probably still sometimes ..I can only deal with the "now". I can only commitment to being sober..right "now"..the now's just keep piling up : )
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 694
Today I want to thank everyone for your responses, a lot of wise words, there are so many things I want to say in response but you all have great points.
I will say “the now’s just keep piling up” hits the problem right on the head, the calls, emails and txt messages pill up. I am in home repair, everyone says it is a good problem to have, I just wish I could figure out the juggling technique that will work for me. I guess I will just have to re-think what I do or at least the way I do it, I use to have 2 guys helping, but employees are hard to deal with, I may have to re-think this area.
“I place high value on my privacy, and peace of mind. I am my favorite person, and enjoy my own company just fine.”~ Karate, priceless, I will remember this
Will definitely look into Nero-Linguistic programming
Love Dee’s post and all yours, I will end up writing a book if I don’t close this up.
I do want to just jot down the month of progression, just a couple in the beginning, it did ease my mind and relax me, (next time try warm milk) days go by I am not even realizing what is happening, the last week, right back to the highest amount ever, all in just one month, I am glad I came here last night, I basically shut out this site thinking I would never be back and that I could handle drinking, right when you think you got it figured out, your wrong.
Thank you all!
I will say “the now’s just keep piling up” hits the problem right on the head, the calls, emails and txt messages pill up. I am in home repair, everyone says it is a good problem to have, I just wish I could figure out the juggling technique that will work for me. I guess I will just have to re-think what I do or at least the way I do it, I use to have 2 guys helping, but employees are hard to deal with, I may have to re-think this area.
“I place high value on my privacy, and peace of mind. I am my favorite person, and enjoy my own company just fine.”~ Karate, priceless, I will remember this
Will definitely look into Nero-Linguistic programming
Love Dee’s post and all yours, I will end up writing a book if I don’t close this up.
I do want to just jot down the month of progression, just a couple in the beginning, it did ease my mind and relax me, (next time try warm milk) days go by I am not even realizing what is happening, the last week, right back to the highest amount ever, all in just one month, I am glad I came here last night, I basically shut out this site thinking I would never be back and that I could handle drinking, right when you think you got it figured out, your wrong.
Thank you all!
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