notfixable

i saw a thread from today and so many people are saying that if you can moderate your not an alcoholic...since my first drink ive had anyone over 21 buy me alcohol. i keep stashed in two different places and drink 10 oz ** that is my limit } a night at least that's how much i can remember drinking on the nights i can remember...on the night i cant remember i obv drank more that intended...ive been limiting and mostly succeeding for 2 months now...am i not an alcoholic...or is this what all first stage alcoholics go through...CONFUSED AS ****...was just starting to think that i may have a problem and i now feel like i can drink for the rest of my life with out a problem.

Dee74

Hi notfixable

if you go back and read your first post there's a lot of reason for concern there.

I doubt if there's anybody who could not moderate their drinking on occasions - it's those 'successful' times that give us the hope that maybe we're not alcoholics...and keep us drinking.

It's about moderating consistently tho - and about the mental and physical effort you need to put out to do that.

I could never moderate consistently for long - a month maybe two - then I would always lose it, and drink til I fell down again.

Also, as the years went on, my ability to moderate got less and less.

I sense you're really kicking against the idea of you maybe being an alcoholic - I get that. Noone really wants to be one.

But if alcohol's causing you problems in your life, and your relationships, as it seems it is - why is so important to you to keep drinking?

D

GiantNZ

Its progressive. I have been moderating drinking all my life and trying to prove that I'm not an alcoholic. Ironically because I have to moderate and keep restraining myself, it proves that I can't drink as normal people do. I never hit the gutter, have a wonderful marriage and two great kids and stopped drinking when all the signs were there which is a blessing. When I talk this through with my sponsor he agrees and says there is just one word missing if you had carried on YET. Please consider if you are a YET.

Admiral

The first time I drank it was to get drunk, that's how I was introduced to alcohol. Whenever I drank after that it was to get drunk, having just one beer didn't make a lot of sense to me.

That being said I never really noticed the urge to drink when I was younger. One time I got so sick that I quit for close to a year and never really felt the need to go back. It was in 2011 or 2012 that something just clicked and I started to want it and found that I couldn't stop myself.

JaylaaKent

Why don't you try NOT drinking the rest of your life - no problem right? Because it's not a problem?

FeelingGreat

Hi Notfixable; I think Dee summed it up pretty well, and i would add that if you have to try hard to limit your drinking, and you're still not succeeding all the time, and you're stashing it away you probably do have a problem.
Some alcoholics like me build up gradually over time, with many intervals of stopping or moderating. The a drinking problem can be on you almost before you realise.
See how you go, but you are already well over the recommended limit.

bi11fish

If you do not want the answer do not ask the question--I am not sure about what stage of Alcoholism you think you are or are not, if I was here asking the question I probably already know the answer. I have a disease that is self diagnosed and continually tells me that I do not have the disease!!!!

EndGameNYC

At a very young age, there were times when I successfully moderated my drinking. Even went more than a full year without booze, though I was then a daily pot smoker. When that all changed, I needed to drink every day just to feel sane.

There's a line in the AA Big Book that says something like "every alcoholic has the desire to control and enjoy his drinking."

Well, if I'm controlling my drinking, then I'm not enjoying it. And if I'm enjoying my drinking, then it's because I'm not controlling it.

silentrun

I disagree that the ability to moderate it means your not an alcoholic. When I was in my 20's if I drank enough to get drunk I would also get sick. If I was out drinking with friends I would always quit before I got drunk. I was the babysitter. In my early 30's I was hanging out with people that drank a lot. Little by little I built up my bodies ability to handle the booze. After about 2 years of that I crossed a line. I woke up one morning on the couch and had no idea how I got there. Luckily I was drinking with friends at home when this happened. I knew something had changed. My first black out. At first I was amazingly able to moderate. Go a month without...no problem. Quit after 2 because I had to drive. I did that too. Even toward the end I could quit once I started if it looked like I would get caught. Even now I could keep a six pack of beer in my fridge and only drink one a night. The problem is I don't want a beer or two drinks. I crave being drunk even though I hate being drunk. I used to be able to drink without having a problem so I know the difference. 10 years. Start to being able to see the finish from where I am. I realized I was about to cross another line.