When you turned the corner with alcohol
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When you turned the corner with alcohol
Was there a specific moment in your life when you remember you made a conscious decision to drink heavily for a while or was your problem drinking totally progressive with no big turning points? I remember losing a job about 3 years ago and telling myself right after I was going to get well buzzed for a few days..maybe a week tops. Two and a half years later I was still stuck on that thought. Almost immediately I was up to a 18+ beer a day habit about 3-4 days a week. I made a decision I was going to abuse alcohol at a very vulnerable time in my life. It served a purpose of letting me sort of forget about things. That was a luxury I couldn't turn down for a while. I went from a social drinker to a heavy binge drinker overnight.
Yeah kind'a. I had quit on and off for a year or so. Then last year I just finally got sick of it all and all that goes with drinking. So I just flat quite then one day.. Been about 6 months now, hope it's for good, we'll see. Was Dec 16 right after my 41st B-day lol
None of the decisions I made felt like decisions at the time. I can recall wishing that I didn't have to always decide to have another. At the time, all those little decisions seemed overwhelmingly inevitable.
Now of course it all seems silly.
Now of course it all seems silly.
I remember the exact spot where I realized I had a big problem. I think I was 20 yr's old. I played in a band,and we were hauling band equipment to a party.
I knew I needed to slow down,there was a long night ahead. But I remember the exact stop light where I said the hell with it,I'll drink another one.
I drank "another one's" for 30 more years before I quit.
Fred
I knew I needed to slow down,there was a long night ahead. But I remember the exact stop light where I said the hell with it,I'll drink another one.
I drank "another one's" for 30 more years before I quit.
Fred
I used alcohol for many reasons, one reoccurring reason was to stop thought. It did work for a very long time. I was too ashamed to seek help for my mental disturbances so I kept on self-medicating. The problem of course was that alcohol was a greedy and needy remedy: eventually I found myself either drunk or recovering from drinking. It took over more and more of my life.
I try to sit with pain now and realize that my thoughts are temporary and will soon pass. I meditate often now and really enjoy just experiencing life As it comes, sober.
I try to sit with pain now and realize that my thoughts are temporary and will soon pass. I meditate often now and really enjoy just experiencing life As it comes, sober.
I've turned the corner with alcohol enough times that I've ended up right back where I started.
Drank for 15 years, quit for 7 years, drank for 1 year, quit for 7 years, drank for 8 years, now sober for 49 days. I have gone around the block and looking to avoid any more corners.
Drank for 15 years, quit for 7 years, drank for 1 year, quit for 7 years, drank for 8 years, now sober for 49 days. I have gone around the block and looking to avoid any more corners.
things that I would have never chosen to do
started drinking and using at around 15 years old
I decided that it was for me forever
then after years of suffering brought to myself and loved ones
off and on I hit some AA Meetings
I was playing with this sobriety thing for many years
until something that I had only heard about started happening
never really had one until I was in my fifties
then I started having blackouts
and
doing many things that I would have never chosen to do normally
this brought me to my spiritual knees - been sober since
I always knew I had an addictive personality and that I used substances and behaviors to "escape" life and uncomfortable feelings. So for decades I was vigilant against booze and drugs. Then...life happened, a LOT of life happened at once and I decided "hang it"...most people my age drank to relax, why shouldn't I? And I let my guard down and in no time at all I was out of control. Being drunk/high became my new hobby. All encompassing.I surrendered to it, then pursued it with a sick passion.
My story is similar to Threshold's.
I was never a social drinker. When I was a teen, I drank to get very drunk and not feel pain. Then I did not drink for 16 years. Then I drank and alcohol was immediately a problem again.
I was never a social drinker. When I was a teen, I drank to get very drunk and not feel pain. Then I did not drink for 16 years. Then I drank and alcohol was immediately a problem again.
I don't know that I ever made a "conscious decision" to drink heavily. Small amounts of alcohol stopped giving me the buzz that I was searching for, so I gradually increased the dosage to get the same effect. There eventually came a day when I would black-out before the buzz showed up.
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Location: The Deep South
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My drinking was mostly binge drinking, so I did drink quickly and a lot. And I do think a lot of that was a conscious effort on my part, yes. But over time, from my early 20's to my mid 30's it progressed some... my typical was 3-4 nights per week, up to 2 bottles of wine a night. I certainly didn't start out drinking that much. But, from the beginning I knew I was drinking to get a buzz and to get drunk.
I was having a difficult time at work due to a position change and alcohol-driven anxiety. I was so stressed that I just said "___ it" and just stopped going into work. Didn't quit, didn't get fired. Just stopped going. LOL? Dropped off the grid and started drinking, full-time. I remember thinking that I'd worked for 10 years at this job and made a lot of money, and now would be a good time to start spending it. A year-and-a-half later, I was broke, alone, and in the hospital.
I prefer to focus on my positive memories, like the first day out of treatment, when I got off the train and walked right by the liquor store and didn't stop in there. It was a real hard thing to do, I remember it vividly, I can remember the weather and everything. That was a cool moment, I look back fondly on that one.
I prefer to focus on my positive memories, like the first day out of treatment, when I got off the train and walked right by the liquor store and didn't stop in there. It was a real hard thing to do, I remember it vividly, I can remember the weather and everything. That was a cool moment, I look back fondly on that one.
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