Justfor1

I just got released this morning. They sent me home with meds for the next few days. It was not the worst detox & I usually end up in the hospital for 3-5 days. I'm serious about getting sober again but at the same time disillusioned with life. I know that I'm sick of ending up in the hospital though & probably owe over $100,000 in medical bills. I told the financial lady that I would make payments of $5 a month until it's paid off though.

THEOjibway

so has your test results proven to you that you CANT drink? Was it worth it? Well Im sure we are all glad to hear you return here and update us at least. I hope you decide to not drink again. 100,000 medical bills is crappy but unless you choose to sober up next will be worse bills. I wish you luck and keep coming back

Veritas1

back...

Elisabeth888

Are you going to give AA another shot?

AnvilheadII

I would make payments of $5 a month until it's paid off though.

then you better stay sober and live a long healthy happy life!!!!

Justfor1

I think so. But I'm also going to try church and to find gainful employment. I believe that I am spiritually dead. As I have stated previously, I find it hard to care about things or people.
I can't even be a good alcoholic anymore. I "bottomed out" after a few days of drinking. I seem to get drunk on less alcohol than I use to. The Dr. told me that may be because my liver isn't processing alcohol like it should??!! Just another routine detox for me. Ativan, bad food, IV drip with fluids, boredom ect... I was told because I have had a history of DT's in the past that medical detox is nearly always necessary for me.

Justfor1

:rotfxko I was told that would keep the bill collectors from "hassling" me on the phone. I'm not sure if it's true or not though.

Weaver

Try something. Obviously what you have been doing isn't working. YOU have to want to change, from the inside. Starts with you.

Maylie

Welcome back!

I'm glad you went and had a supervised detox, especially if there have been complications in the past. Eek medical bills, but look at it this way..if you stay sober then most likely that number will keep going down instead of the other way around. Perhaps after you find a job you can do more than $5 a month since i'm not sure they were truthful when they said that would stop collectors from calling.

As for feeling spiritually dead, I think many of us can relate to feeling that way when we continue to use and drink. Life starts to seem really bleak and it is hard to care about anything but using and drinking. Now that you are sober however, things should start to look up fast I found getting involved in the community, school, and getting a job as well as being on here and going to church has allowed me to feel and care again. It is important to stay busy and then you won't get stuck in your own head.

Keep your head up and try something new this time around. When something doesn't work, it is time to make a new recovery plan and give everything you have into it. We didn't get addicted overnight and therefore we can't expect life to be amazing overnight once we stop using/drinking. In time things will look up however

Sudz No More

Happy to see you back in one piece Just. Hopefully this will be your time to really get back on track.

1Badfox

Good luck to you!! Stay strong and use it as a lesson!

Justfor1

Thank you everyone. The trying church thing is new to me & hope it may help. I hear a lot of AA members seem to bash church though & I'm not sure why. Of course, they give wine out when you take communion. Hopefully, that won't trigger my alcohol craving. I know my God is much more forgiving then some folks I've met in and out of recovery.

Nevertheless

Glad to see you back. You must want to stay sober deep down because you keep coming back here.
Only the catholic church has communion (wine),if thats where you are going you don't have to participate.
I have a friend that drank more than me,and went to church and got really involved. That started 5 years or so ago,and he's still happy and sober as far as I know. He moved quite a ways away.
Keep on trying,and you will succeed. Just keep on trying.

Fred

Justfor1

never, yes I want to be sober again. The last few weeks of my postings here I do not believe I was serious in wanting to stop.

deeker

Where did u hear that?

Justfor1

I've had AA friends laugh at me about finding good people at church. Yet we have had to install video cameras at my local AA club because so much stuff was getting stolen & the safe was broken into.

Johno1967

Good to see you come out the other end of that spree. People used to ask me "was it worth it?". If I was honest it never was. Sounds like you've realized that. The lows in our lives always pass, nothing is permanent and the sun will set and rise again tomorrow. No one can tell why some things happen, they just do. The only thing I can control is how I choose to respond to events and people that challenge me. Life is full of curve balls. We choose how to deal with them. No one gets it perfectly. Heaven knows I said things yesterday that I wish I had not but its past and I only get now to live, even tomorrow is no guarantee. So ill give you advice I don't always stick to: Acceptance and honesty is the key. Be well.

Weaver

Try to find a new meeting. There are bad apples in all walks of life. Work on YOU

Gottalife

All the best JF1.

It takes what it takes eh? You now have a better knowledge of your condition. Though not religious myself, I think it's a great idea to give church a try. AA's solution is spiritual in nature and perhaps the church perspective on spirituality will be just the thing you need to help you grasp that manner of living.

Isn't it funny about AA bashing churches. I have seen other posts complaining AA is religious. No doubt the truth is somewhere in the middle.

sparky78

Glad your back! I had forgotten how boring detox is!! But necessary for those of us that can't detox safely at home. Church sounds like a good idea, have you thought about outpatient? I went in the past when I wasn't truly ready to get sober & didn't think it was beneficial, but tried a different program in November (I needed a longer term program, 5-6 weeks was not enough for me) and it really helped me.