FeenixxRising

It was a Closed, Beginners meeting. No one approached me or spoke to me either before or after the meeting, but that didn’t really bother me. I was content to sit and listen; although, I would have had no problem sharing my story. The group was a mix of young and older, male and female—but all white, and obviously most had been raised with Christian traditions (it’s a very white-bread, Anglo-Saxon neighborhood, but I expected a little more diversity).

Most of the people told a little bit about their stories, and the old-timers primarily encouraged the newer members to keep attending, even if they didn’t get it—I liked that. Some of the old timers had as much as 30 years sober, so that was nice to hear.

One thing did bother me a little. At the end of the meeting, everyone held hands and said the Our Father (the Lord’s Prayer). I found that a little Christian centric. I mean, what If I were Jewish, or Muslim or whatever? I held hands and bowed my head but I didn’t pray. That was the only overtly religious part of the meeting.

There is another meeting tomorrow at 12 noon that I plan on attending. And I’ll be checking out other meetings/groups in the area in the next week or so, as I’m not sure I would want this group as a home group; although, I would attend a meeting with the group again.

Long story short, I found the meeting neither off-putting nor particularly encouraging. But the success stories of the old timers were inspirational.

oak

I'm glad part of it was inspiring. I have had similar experiences at AA meetings and am ambivalent about them. I do not usually go anymore.

I hope you are able to find one that does not do the lord's prayer at the end. The meetings near me do not do that, but I think it is partly based on geography.

I also found that people seemed to talk to people they already knew and were not super-welcoming to newcomers. I am shy but sometimes I would push myself to talk to at least one person.

I hope you find what works for you.

FeenixxRising

Yes, I think geography plays a big part. My area of the Northeast US is religious and fairly conservative. I'm a little reserved, but I have no problem speaking with others. Since this was my first AA meeting, I had decided beforehand I would speak if someone spoke with me--and if no one did, I would sit and listen and get a feel for how the meetings work. It was all good; there were some other newcomers there who were in a very bad way, so I was happy to let them have the attention of the group.

MIRecovery

I am a huge fan of AA and the Our Father bothers me and I am a Christian. I strongly feel that religion has no place in meetings. Spirituality yes, religion no. Of course I am an alcoholic and if I did not have something to complain about I would not be happy

dox

I was shocked when I went to some meetings in the US and they closed with the Lord's Prayer. This was after a couple of years sobriety. I have never heard of that over here; every meeting ends with the Serenity Prayer. I can't say that I wouldn't have stuck with AA if my first meetings were as overtly biased towards Christianity, but I am grateful that when I decided to ask AA for help, I was in England. Must be a geographical thing.

IMHO saying a prayer from the Bible is contrary to the spirit of the Big Book with regards to choosing our own conception of God. Ironically, I became a Christian as a result of working the twelve steps of AA. But I didn't have to consider that or make that choice at my first few meetings, thank God.

In the meetings that I attend, newcomers usually don't get out the door without at least a couple of phone numbers. Newcomers are part of our primary purpose; are they not? I am grateful for that aspect of our meetings here. For, you see, I was so shaky for my first meeting that I don't remember much of what was said -- no identification and no hope was taken on by me during the course of the meeting. And yet, two men came up to me after the meeting and introduced themselves and gave me their phone numbers. I don't remember what they said, at the time, but I did call them. They suggested that I go to another meeting and I did; still do.

My opinion means nothing.
~dox

visch1

Interesting varying responses. I'm not or have ever been religious and always took the word spiritual as a inner quality. To this day I feel a bit uncomfortable at the end of meeting saying the Lords Prayer or the Serenity Prayer. We are not forced to hold hands but I feel uncomfortable for not doing it. Self centered fear. Years ago I did a search somewhere and it was mentioned that the Serenity Prayer has a more religious background than the Lords Prayer. Go figure. BE WELL

jennikate

I too live in the northeast and 99 percent of the meetings end with the Lord's Prayer. I am an atheist and at first it bothered me. I then began to look at it as a sign of unity. I use the group (sort of ) as my higher power. Sometimes I say it, sometimes not. Either way is perfectly fine.

tomsteve

i wiling to bet that more were agnostic/athiest at one time than ya think. many of us had religion shoved down oour throats growin up and it pushed us away from religion.

theres no rules in A, so no one has to join in on the prayer if they dont want.
we claim spiritual progress.

the prayer at the end is a group conscience thing. it can be discussed at the groups business meeting.


keep goin back and get a big book. theres a good chapter titled, "we agnostics."

zjw

try to keep your focus on the sobriety aspect if the religous aspect bothers you some. The religious aspect of various activities only ever gets to me if there pushing it on me. Otherwise i dont care what or who they worship. But your there to sober up first and foremost dont let the religous aspect derail that.

caboblanco

Funny, I found those meetings to be about 50% overtly religious. People thanking Jesus Christ, the Lord, or their higher power is religious, not just spiritual. i really don't know the difference most of the time. The subject matter and literature or all based on Protestantism.

2granddaughters

I began to get a lot out of AA when I started to try to fit into it rather than get it to fit me.

When I quit analyzing AA ... stopped judging, condemning and tearing it apart I started to get it.

In my arrogance in the beginning I thought I could/should "fix" AA. Then I realized "Who the hell do I think I am ??"

All the best.

Bob R

visch1

That's interesting because I estimate I've been to about 15-18K meetings in the NE and NEVER in my memory heard Jesus Christ spoken of at an AA meeting. Has any one ever LISTENED to the preamble at the beginning of a meeting? OR studied the TRADITIONS which is the foundation of the AA program. Heaven forbid!!! BE WELL .

tomsteve

it is important to remember we can call our hp whatever we chose. be it allah, jahovah, jesus, god, or whatever. an open mind is indespensible

Cormat

I make no bones about the fact that my own higher power is very much the Christian Trinity but I would never vote to include anything such as the Lords Prayer in an AA meeting because it is biblical.

I see the serenity prayer as being somewhat different in that whilsts its origins are Christian (personally I love the full prayer) I feel that what it contains really carry's the whole recovery message in a very short and concise manner and that anybody who cannot truly get their head around it, or is willing to try, may not be in the right place for their recovery.

FeenixxRising

I did some research, and I found out that the Lord's Prayer has been used in US AA meetings for a long time. While I was a little surprised by its use, it's not something that would keep me from attending future meetings. I'll stand and bow my head while it's being said. I understand that many people find solace in saying it.

MIRecovery

Oh you are no fun at all. I was so enjoying complaining and fixing AA. I still say that the our father turns off a lot of people and is counter to the non religious aspects of AA

tomsteve

as ya get to different meetings, you'll find that theres meetings that dont use the lords prayer. awesome to see it not stopping oyu from what could very well be the start of a great life for ya!!

CousinA

I spent my the first year or so in New Jersey and attended meetings there and in NYC, then moved back to "the city" and have been here since. The meetings in NJ all closed with the Lords Prayer. Having been raised in a nominally Jewish and in practice, agnostic home, it was alien to me and might as wel have been Sanskrit. But here's the thing - I had my ass so completely kicked by alcohol and drugs that it didn't matter to me how they closed the meetings. All I knew that I was being offered a way out of the hell I had been living in at the end of my active addiction.

The meetings NYC (I've lived in Queens, "Downtown" and now Upper Manhattan) almost always close with the Serenity Prayer. Some don't. Big whoop! The 2nd and 4th Traditions tell us it's up to the group and the 3rd tells me I can pray or not pray however I choose.

And FWIW, I have a higher power that isn't a god and I love the Serenity Prayer.

-allan

ru12

I just left before the hand holding and the praying started.

2granddaughters

Once I got the correct perception of God I had no problem with prayer.

The problem usually is in me if I take the time to look.

All the best.

Bob R