Busby56

Another "many times" quitter here...

The latest "oh crap, NOW I've done it" moment for me was waking up almost paralyzed and bathed in sweat a week ago last Sunday. I had gotten completely and utterly bombed on Saturday night. On Sunday a.m., my wife wanted me to get up and work on something with her and I really couldn't move. I have never sweat so much in all my life, from every pore in my body. And all I was doing was lying there. Scared the whee out of me, I thought I'd blown out my innards for good. Ain't touched a drop since.

zjw

Gaffo I never had the epiphany that life could be fun without beer but I had the same issues you describe. To me life was going to be AWEFUL without beer. but I new life was AWEFUL with beer so i figured what difference does it make I'm screwed either way! so i buckled down and with all my strength stopped drinking. It wasnt till later I realized gee life is pretty cool without beer go figure.

Olive1

I was in the hospital for two weeks. The doctor who saved me kept quietly telling me that if I drank one more drink I would die. He made sure that I had a spot in a rehab, where I went directly from hospital release.
Even then, I thought I would just do this rehab thing and then cut my drinking way back. I could not see my life without alcohol.
On the third day of rehab I started crying. I did not stop crying the whole day.
That was the day I realized.

zjw

Ohta its crazy how blind we can be not even realizing theres a problem. I watch other people drink now and i keep my mouth shut. But I can see whats possibly going on with them is what went on with me. What started out as weekend fun and good times turned into my worst demon had sunk his claws deep into my flesh and I had not even realized this had happened.

Olive1

zjw, I am sure people were telling me I had a problem, but the denial drowned out all anti-drinking words. It was only the words of a complete stranger that I eventually listened to. I also see folks who have a problem, and keep my mouth shut. It would just come out as 'blah, blah, blah, blah, blah' until they decide for themselves that they need to change.
I will be there with words when they are ready to hear.

ShawnM

I too had MANY times of attempting to quit and always relapsed, drinking as heavy if not worse than before. I have had so many reasons to stop. I was deterorating so much physically. Major digestion problems. Felt like ulcers. And all the rest that goes with alcoholism. Heart palpitations, anxiety attacks, major emotional and social problems, and on and on. My last day and what hit me between the eyes is in a way kinda humorous. I was sitting on the couch at home with a real alcoholic hangover. You know, the real deal one of them. Nursing a beer to get rid of the jitters, I happened to come across William Shatner's Raw Nerve where he interviews various musicians, entertainers, ect. and that day his guest was Tim Allen of Home Improvement fame. To be honest I was never a fan. Nothing against him, but it is just not my cup of tea. But I watched anyway. He had gone into his life story which involved a lot of alcohol and drug problems. There was a part in the interview where he had said he had been sober for like ten years. Something inside me snapped. I wanted what he had!!! I wanted to be able to say that!!! I made my mind up there and then, dumped out the booze and haven't had a drink since. There is of course way more I had to do to stay sober for good and I was physically sick for two weeks after that, but that was what originally did it. Thank you Tim Allen.
ShawnM
Sober since 12-21-08

polaris

Ive had that moment coun tless times.

Unfortunately having a selective memory seems to be hallmark of alcoholism.

thisisme

Staring through a noose with 5 empty bottles of wine on the table after my son passed.
I quit alcohol instead, the depression soon lifted and life became beautiful again after many years.

DrakeCKC

Thankfully not an accident or DUI or a big trauma. I went to a classical music concert drunk (as usual) passed out and had to be asked to leave and escorted out. I was ashamed and angry at myself. I realized it was depressing me. I read my diary/journal for the previous few months and found entry after entry of suicidal threats, anger, self hate, bitterness and failure.

I knew I had to change and did. That was 53 days ago and I feel so much better.

Threshold

I had three real "this has got to stop moments".

One is inappropriate to share here.

Two, had to pull off the highway and sleep of a drug hangover in a church parking lot on a long road trip.

three...was trying to force myself to puke in the bathroom at a wedding after I'd drunk way too much and ate 9 pieces of cake.

oh wait...lying on the bathroom floor writhing in pain after drinking peroxide trying to make myself vomit.

um, screaming at the top of my lungs on a 90 minute ambulance ride to the hospital

sitting in a forest in the snow slashing my skin with a broken beer bottle I found.

racing to the store in the rain minutes before closing time to buy OTC drugs to abuse and lying to the cashier who I knew about why I was buying them.

Guess I'm not a quick learner

Change4good

Alcohol stopped working. I started having panic attacks WHILE drinking in addition to after sobering up.

Climber122

After throwing and breaking the furniture in the dining room in a drunken rage - in front of my 5 year old daughter. That wasn't enough to keep me sober - I need God for that - but it was enough to get me into the rooms of AA and begin working for a change. God willing I don't drink today, that's been a few years ago now...

zjw

the sad part is my drinking took a turn for the worst when i switched to hard liquor to save on carbs. So i'd mix that with diet soda. Yeah i know *yack* but i didnt care. The thing was after that i started getting a bit too hammered. I decided that stuff was just too strong so went back to beer. Well then my beer habit rather then an 8-10 a night turned into 12-15. Then came the panic. The panic did me in. Just the thought of that panic again is enough to make me panic and not want to drink again.

Splash29

There were so many embarrassing moments where I made a major fool of myself when I should have stopped! But I finally realized I need to stop when my health took a turn. That was the only thing that really scared me. I put myself in the emergency room because of drinking I did to myself. Other people were there because they were really sick and I put myself there from drinking. So finally woke up.

Amy2011

I had many moments when I knew I had to stop. Towards the last few weeks of my drinking I was a wreck. I was considering drinking before work or at work to keep my buzz going. I never did thank goodness. After a weekend bender of letting my kids down, letting my husband down, embarrassing myself in front of my daughters friends, embarrassing myself in front of my friends, and seeing utter disgust in the eyes of my husband. I knew I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I woke up on Monday morning, looked up AA meetings online, and went to a meeting before I could change my mind. That meeting changed my life.

Weaver

It should have neen my dui, but no to stubborn for that (although i never drove drunk again) but probably either after my last binge when i tried to hide empty beer cans on the roof. (Wtf) or when i was drinking and my sweet innocent 3 year old son said "daddy, im gonna be like you when i get older and drink beer" :-/ There are countless embarrassing stories though.

ElegantlyWasted

Like Weaver it was a culmination of a lot of things. What really started scaring me were partial blackouts and being told what I did during those partial blackouts.

Weaver

Same here. Scary stuff

zjw

Oddly having my son on more then one occaision open the trash can in the morning and see all my empties and say "wow dad you really hit em hard last night" didnt do it for me. All that ever did was make me more diligent about taking the trash out before bed.

beatle

I was a closet drinker, highly functioning for many years. As soon as I left work, I went to the nearest store and bought my booze, drank, passed out, woke up in the morning with high anxiety, went to work...repeated... The morning anxiety became worse as my drinking increased. Then I found out that a couple swigs in the morning worked wonders, my anxiety would disappear completely! That was the beginning of my downfall. All day drinking soon followed and taking a swig to function throughout the day became a priority. I soon became a non functioning drinker. After i missed a few days of work and sat at home getting drunk, I realized one morning that I was in real trouble. I checked myself in rehab that day. It's been a year and a half now since my last drink and I'm doing great.