Confident but scared

Old 05-24-2013, 10:46 PM
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Confident but scared

I just got done reading a thread from someone who is 13 years sober and ready to try social drinking. This person feels that they were never an alcoholic to begin with. Not for me to say so either way so good luck to them. I recently celebrated my 1 year anniversary of sobriety and I feel great. As a matter of fact it scares me. I have seen MANY posts on here of people who have had multiple years of Sobriety under their belt but then try to drink socially and it all goes out the window. I know that I can never drink again. I grap my reality. I know that I won't be duped into thinking I can drink socially but what else might send me astray? As I said I feel great and I am SOLID in my conviction and I am sober. It just scares me to see so many people relapse after years of sobriety. Just thinking out loud I guess. Off to bed. Good night friends.
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Old 05-24-2013, 10:55 PM
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Hi Hefner

I can't comment on other peoples journeys but I know for me I have to stay grounded.

I hope I never forget what happened to me, or how I got there.

I've accepted what I am and what that entails.

I don't feel scared.

I love my sober life.
I like who I am sober.

I work hard at all those things - even now.

I figure that's about as good a guarantee as anyone can get

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Old 05-25-2013, 12:12 AM
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Keeping it simple!
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Congrats on 1 year! Yeah, I get kind of scared reading about them too. I think it is important not to become complacent and too arrogant in our recovery. There have been a few threads recently that have been closed that have reminded me of this.

So even though people are upset with these posts, they just re-enforce this for me.

I know for myself I can't drink like a normal person, but it doesn't mean I never think about it. Of course I do and I probably always will think about it. It doesn't mean I have to act on it. But I don't kid myself all it would take is a few minutes of stinky thinking and I could find myself down that road again.
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Old 05-25-2013, 03:16 AM
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Originally Posted by LadyinBC View Post
Yeah, I get kind of scared reading about them too. I think it is important not to become complacent and too arrogant in our recovery.
Congrats on a year!

I was at a meeting about a month ago. There was a lead speaker that had relapsed after twelve years and after his story he made this comment that really hit home.

"Enough years but not enough days"

For me that says it pretty clear about getting complacent.

Last night I honestly did not feel like going to a meeting. I had worked all day, it was the holiday weekend, it was cold outside...blah blah blah but I got up and went anyway.

I am glad I did. After the lead when comments were being made the last guy that stood up made a comment about how he had been sober ten months but he could not get it. He was so lost. He talked about how he was only on the third step and how when it says in How it works about being constitutionally incapable and having grave emotional disorders that it was talking about him.

I felt the entire room pause. Like everyone of us for that moment were reminded of why we are there and not to take one minute of our sobriety for granted.
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Old 05-25-2013, 05:54 AM
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It scares me also. All those people that relapsed were confident,just like I am right now.
Soooo it stands to reason,it's possible I could be another "victim"
I quit over 4 years ago,and I keep the beer that was next in line the night I quit right next to the television. That way I don't forget what I went through the last time I quit,or the reason I quit. It's also why I keep reading here on this forum.
I don't think there is a right or wrong way to stay sober (others will disagree). But thats OK. To each his own. But for me,being a little scared is a good thing. It means in my case I am worried I might go back to how I was. And if I am worried about it,it means I DONT want to go back there.
Jut my opinion....
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Old 05-25-2013, 06:55 AM
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I quit drinking for over 5 years and thought I was cured.

I quickly found out I wasn't.

The only thing I discovered was that getting sober and staying sober was much harder the second time around.
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Old 05-25-2013, 09:12 AM
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I know that the root of my addiction isn't cured. Meaning that so many of my thought patterns and feelings inside are still the same. I know how tempting it is for me still (14 months sober) to just want to give up when things get tough. I feel so exhausted.

I read threads about relapse after significant amounts of sober time and I wonder why, what happened there, what is their achilles heel. Then quick turn round and ask myself what mine are.

Yesterday got some real chilling news that is pushing all my panic buttons...right now I am still hypervigilant, knowing drinking is never the answer...but even so I have heard the little voice in the back of my head saying "yeah, but if this really goes to the bad place and feels can reach for relief THEN."

I know it's still in there. Some crazy part of me still feels like it's an option...if all else fails.

Some people's posts imply that they give drinking another try when things are going well, when they figure there is no danger they will be tempted to overdo it.

I don't never really quits coming at us. I've never really had a time when I can switch on the cruise control and enjoy the scenery. Life scares the heck out of me sober...but I have a chance at making it, drunk...I'm done for.
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Old 05-25-2013, 09:53 AM
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I was going to say the same thing LadyinBC said - yes those posts scare me too. The reasons why it scares me are obvious - what the heck am I doing this for now, if in 5 years I'm going to drink again? I am 11 months's been 11 months of amazing growth for me. In fact, I only really just figured out a few months ago how to truly "start over"...I feel really confident and good - then I see folks with 7 years of sobriety "going back out"...WHY??? Did they figure something out???

I have been guilty of criticizing and analyzing others' motives on this forum - and I have been warned about it by the mods! And you know what? They're right. You can only support people, and hope they do well. While we're all in the same boat, we are also all on different roads. Take what you can from SR - for YOU. Someone else might be straying or taking a different path. So be it. Not your problem, right? Let's concentrate on our own problems.

Best of luck and thanks for bringing up the topic.
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Old 05-25-2013, 10:57 AM
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Complacency is a sneaky one, I think. You haven't behaved like anything other than a model citizen for a decade or however long - you don't look like an alcoholic, don't act like one, don't 'feel' like one, so you figure yo're not one. That's logical, sure, but its junkie logic...the reason you don't look, feel or act like an alcoholic is because you haven't had a drink for ten years...that's no coincidence,

I mean, how many people who aren't alcoholic question whether they feel 'safe' enough before pouring a glass of wine...or feel the need to wait a decade between drinks, y'know...

There's so much more to this than whether someone can now drink responsibly - like the fact they've no 'normalcy gauge' having been an alcoholic. Then there's the fact they've years of managing sober under their belt, but not one day of managing it drunk to go by. Then there's the reactions and thoughts, feelings of their loved ones. Even if they say, 'sure, I respect your decision, try it' they may watch you more closely - creating stress and arguments that would never happen between non-addicts or you may simply be hyper aware and begin to feel this way, triggering them to (rightly) become concerned. The list goes on.

So even if it is possible, why risk it? And if y'trying to answer that Q then y'realise you're trying to justify risking years or decades of a sober life against 'the occasional pint'...who would risk all that for a pint, except an alcoholic?

I've said it before, but if you have to try to drink 'like a normal person', you're probably not a normal person and prolly' shouldn't drink.

And, man...I can't believe its me typing this instead of hearing it, but i hope to hell it stays that way lol
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Old 05-25-2013, 03:57 PM
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Thanks to everyone for the input. I have no desire to fall back into a Zombie lifestyle of nothing else matters but Beer. I only posted this because I seem to be seeing it more and more on here. One person even went as far as to repeatedly admit that they are an alcoholic but that they were going to drink again because they wanted to drink like their " normal " friends do. I didn't post a reply because that is CLEARLY someone who's Monster is back in control and there wasn't a darn thing that I could post that was going to change that. Someone on that path knows the inevitable outcome. I just don't want to EVER be " that guy ". Addiction is a bitch. I hurts me to see so many fail to get sober or to get sober for long periods of time only to try to drink socially. It makes me want to scream at them " YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO DRINK AGAIN! EVER! JUST ACCEPT IT !"
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