KeyHeart

I can't quit. I wish I could. Oh dear god I wish I could. I had over a month sober. I was so proud of myself. I'm off the rails again. Last weekend im told I stood in the middle of my living room and peed my pants. PEED. MY. PANTS. And that didn't get me to quit. I have a serious problem. Going to an AA meeting tonight. Please pray for me.

DAB

Don't be too hard on yourself, KeyHeart.
We have all been there and have gotton through it.
Great idea to go to an AA meeting tonight.
AA is what has kept me sober for 19 months and still going...
I will pray for you and I wish you all the best!

tjhook

I understand 100% how you feel. Please don't beat yourself up too bad, remember...you are human.

KeyHeart

I've never been AA. I'm scared. I tried SMART. I tried reading all sorts of books. Didn't work. I am wholly powerless.

shakeel

I have been where you are MANY times and I kept relapsing. You are not any different than most of us. I have relapsed iver and over while in AA, but AA gave me an exit opportunity from this sickness. and I am back again at 30 days sober today. AA is not the meetings, AA is working the steps with a sponsor and I wish someone had tld me this years ago. the meetings alone won't keep you sober, please give (working) the steps with a sponsor a chance, that's what would get you off the pity pot, remorse, resemtemnt which lead us back to drinking.

KeyHeart

Oh I will! I'm terrified. I'm scared to continue life like this and I'm scared to quit

ClearLight

One good thing is that you are not giving up.

Another good thing is that you're trying new approaches.

AA is something that you'll have to give some time to make it work. You also have to shop around and find the right group for you.

Don't be afraid to quit - there is nothing more for you with alcohol.

DAB

The thought of quitting terrified me too but the alternative was even more terrifying.

GracieLou

I was and I am scared too. The quitting scared me but what scares me more is facing my past and the resentments. In a way I don't want to let go of them. They hurt a lot but it was like carrying an old beat up teddy bear hoping someday it will be brand new.

I have to learn to face it and accept it. I am not there yet but I am writing things down and working on them with my sponsor and I am going to AA meetings.

I know AA can be scary but it has helped me a great deal. Knowing there are people that really understand is really important.

2granddaughters

I was there in 1989 ...I think you are ready to be teachable.

I believe this is your lucky day.

All the best.

Bob R

KeyHeart

Bob you made me tear up with gratitude.

JenEss

For 12 years I tried everything BUT AA. I went to meetings, but my attitude SUCKED. I didn't want to do it the AA way, I thought I could solve my problem on my own. A ton of self help books, counseling, group therapy, harm reduction, treatment centers, detoxes, they ALL failed!!
Yesterday I had 9 months clean and sober from alcohol and other mind altering substances. And the reason for that is because I finally surrendered to AA. I could not be more grateful!!

You can do this!!

KeyHeart

Wow. My husband won't come home to watch our son. I cant believe this.

awuh1

You'll get there Keyheart. You've got a good plan. Stick to it. You'll be OK.

LostConfused

I can def relate . I aways get 2 weeks and I fall again... When there is a will there is a way!!! We can do this!!

robgt350

Key my soberity started in AA. it will work for you but it is not the only way to soberity. keep it up, you are doing great. go to the chat room and get some support too. good luck to you !!!!

oak

I think some AA meetings have child care. But of course, the meetings near you might not have child care. You could call your local AA number and ask if any meetings provide child care.

Good luck finding something that works.

KeyHeart

Just got home from my first meeting. Oh my God it was amazing. Can't wait for tomorrow's meeting!

artsoul

That's great that you made it to the meeting, KeyHeart! I can totally relate to what you said about fear. That's what kept me from getting sober for a long time. I had a really negative picture in my mind about what sobriety would be like. Thankfully, I was wrong!

Good for you for stepping out in spite of your fear. Glad the meeting went well!

1newcreation

Hi Key
I just saw u're post & was gonna suggest an AA mtg but u already went to 1 & I'm glad u enjoyed it! I was told @ the very beginning that it's a "we" program & not "I". With our big egos we tried to run things & even tried on sobriety to no effect.
Get a sponsor, a big bk & a 12&12. The more meetings u go to, the clearer things will get & clouds begin to clear away. 1 guy in a mtg shared how his life after couple mths was now in HD..lol Which it actually becomes
Remember that meeting makers make IT; so even if later on u don't feel like going to 1, just go
Best wishes