Weaver

Still sober, 6 days I think? Anyways my wife and code family all new I had a problem with alcohol yet there were still times I would hide the amount I was drinking (I'd have those little vodka/whiskey shots hidden around) to go along with the beer I was drinkin in front of everyone.... Or binge drinking at night after everyone was asleep. Well with my new commitment to sobriety I am trying to "right the wrongs" I committed while being a sloppy drunk. I'm trying to be nicer, spend more time with my wife, do more things with my 3 year old son etc . But I'm just depressed... How long does this last? I feel guilty feeling depressed cause all I want to do is lay in bed and either sleep , watch tv or get on the Internet. I feel guilty because I'm having to "force" myself to be around others or I'm choosing to "hide" my depression. Just like I hid my drinkin at some points. I feel as though I'm still miserable to be around but I'm just not drinking now. Does this even make sense ? Sorry to ramble and sorry for not being able to separate paragraphs, I'm typing this from my iPhone . Any advice or suggestions are obviously welcome

Michelangelo

Feeling depressed is pretty common in early sobriety. But perhaps you should see a doctor if does not Get better in a couple of weeks

Dee74

6 days is great but...it's 6 days

Give yourself and your loved ones time to heal - if you're like me you drank for years, yeah?

D

Weaver

Agreed, I think I just need to start living life, exercise etc, I've been to a dr before and he just dolled out some anti depression candy after a 15 minute session ( most recently ) . Have taken them before . No thanks.

Weaver

Thanks dee. I understand , my family has been AWESOME. It's me who feels guilty/ shameful for not being "happier" around them.

Weaver

And yes many years

bigsombrero

Your goal is to "spend more time with your kid" and you've given yourself 6 days to measure your progress? Take it easy here, no need to judge your accomplishments and start handing out grades just yet. This is your first week. Measure your progress in sober days, not in a larger "being a better father to my child" context. This is still an hour-by-hour project in the early goings. Six days is a pretty good start, keep it simple.

Olive1

Your best friend (alcohol) just died. Maybe you just need a little time to grieve the loss.

Weaver

Thanks for the responses guys. Also, my apologies if it seems as though I'm throwing a pity party , it's just I really don't have anyone else to talk to. My poor wife is supportive but really doesn't know HOW or what to say and others just kinda say "quit feeling sorry for yourself " etc. I can't blame them just a tad daunting and frustrating to tackle all this "alone" I have a full life and wonderful world at my fingertips. I NEED to learn to enjoy and grasp it sober.

Olive1

It's okay to feel sorry for yourself. It is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do. I felt sad for a long, long time. But you feel the tiniest bit better each day, the more days you have.

DAB

Every time I quit on my own I felt like that.
This last time I started going to AA and working the steps. I have been sober for 19 months now and I am happier than I ever have been.
AA has totally worked for me and kicked that depression too.
I'm not saying I never have a bad day anymore, but that I can usually change that bad day into a good one with a meeting, a prayer, and a reading/meditation, or all three.

GroundhogDay

I also spent the first couple of weeks napping, watching TV, and browsing the Internet. Then I perked up and found some ambition, but went through a frustrated and tense phase. Now my emotions are starting to even out. In fact, I was happy and productive today, but still took it somewhat easy.

fantail

1. The first month for me I wanted nothing to do with reality. And I still have those days sometimes. It's ok!

2. A sober friend and I were talking recently about this need we both feel to be "consistent"... like as if we don't want to be in a bad mood around people ever, because that's not what they signed up for when they took us on as a friend or something? And we talked about how that really contributed to our drinking. "I don't feel social tonight, so I'll have three beers to force myself to be friendly" when it should have been "I don't feel social tonight, so I'll stay home and read a book".

So I kinda think one of the big struggles of sobriety is learning that we can't always be consistent, we can't control our moods, and that's OK, we don't have to. As long as we're kind and honest with the people around us, it's OK to be out of sorts sometimes.

Sally1009

Congratulations on being sober for six days. That's huge! Be gentle with yourself - it takes time.

Busby56

Heh. I started drinking (more) because I was clinically depressed. Good ol' self-medication. Got diagnosed back in January 2012, though I'd been suffering from it for decades. I was put on medication, which helped, but it also increased my alky cravings--a lot!

Now on my sixth day of sobriety (again, after two false starts). I've got quite the urge right now but I ain't gonna cave in.