Down.. but not out.
 

I slipped, I tripped. I fell flat on my face.

I was working hard, but Tuesday night got me, and then Wednesday all day. Yesterday was picking up the pieces (sober) and today I'm trying again (sober)

It's hard, but I'm not giving up - giving up. :banghead:

I got angry, I realize that now, and it took me to a place I really didn't want to go. Still learning, got a lot of work to do yet.

Much love

JC

(((Jaysee))
 

I have been there more than a few times..it sounds like you learned a valuable lesson about anger d-anger, its a big trigger for me also.So its all about living in today!! Its truely all we have.Thank you for your honesty..Trish.prayers and peace to you :angel2:

(((JaySee)))
Enough of this :banghead: .
Onward. A lesson learned.
Thanks for being a teacher today.

Jaysee. I'm so glad you're back so soon. ((Take care))

hey jaysee

nevermind, you can try again. come over to dont quit and jump on the bus, it is pretty full, but we could fit a 'pommy' in anyday.


you'd be very welcome.

hugs and hang in there
kath

Yeah mate.
Come back to the bus for some crumpet!

Hey JC -

You acknowledged it - shared it and now it's time to move onward and upward! Keep coming back.

-Kathi

Yup! What Kathi said.

J-C KEEP GETTIN UP. LIKE WAS SAID ,LESSON LEARNED! GLAD YOUR HERE J-C. :tool: :wave:

ted :slomo:

You slipped, but you got back up, and came back. Thats important.

Keep coming back.

Good for you for not giving up! You will do it!!

((jaysee)) How ya doin today ? Prayers :angel2:

Come on Jay, up and at 'em mate.
How goes it friend?

Thanks Guys

Gave myself another beating yesterday. I don't know why.?? That first drink is the bastard.

I'm going to work on today. Just today. Going to try very hard to get today right.

Today I will be different.

Thank you people. Much love.

JC

Hi, JC,
Here's an article on anger management you might find useful. Take care,
Don S


Managing Anger
[outline from Philip Tate; reference below]

First, think of the bad behaviors or bad actions of a person or organization which you believe should not have occurred--behaviors or actions that you believe interfere with your happiness or act against your values. Then go through the following steps to eliminate your anger. And
remember--it is anger that YOU created. This statement is not intended to make you feel guilty, it is to help you recognize the power that you have to un-create that anger.

Recognize and describe--write down-- bad behavior or events that you dislike. Keep this list handy and add to it regularly.
Do the same about behavior and events that you like. Take some time to think about what makes the difference between the two lists. How much of it is behavior by others, and how much results from your own beliefs?

Consider how badly you behave when you are angered and enraged, and think of the bad consequences of your behavior, both to yourself and others. This isn't the time to dwell on this! Just acknowledge the consequences of your angry behavior.

Think of the good that you can make happen if you act annoyed rather than angry. Confusing? Accepting our own irritability can be the key to working quickly through our initial reactions, before they build into the emotional condition of anger.

Discover your irrational beliefs! This takes introspection. But here's a guide: if it causes you distress, or to become angry, there are almost sure to be irrational aspects of your belief. Common irrational beliefs have to do with trying to control the behavior of others, upsets about behavior or events that don't meet our expectations, or about things which embarrass or humiliate us.

Dispute your irrational beliefs. Look for key absolute words, including: should, can't stand, awful, must, always, never, can't, won't, other forms of all-or-nothing thinking, and judgmental thoughts (damnation and punishment).

Develop some rational self-statements and repeat them many times. Try writing down examples until you find some that you like.

Work to eliminate thinking excessively about the bad acts of other persons or organizations. Develop a 'stop!' technique. 'Don't think poisonous thoughts!' is one of my favorites.

Develop respect, understanding, and tolerance for others. Especially the most irritating ones. Developing a sense of humor is really helpful.

Take action according to your rational beliefs -- not your irrational ones. This takes practice!

If your irritations arise from institutions--work, government--then take action to effect change in those organizations when possible. Recognize the things you can't change and accept them.

Work on these concepts every day, for at least half an hour. Take time out for the introspection, writing, and action plans involved. This is like exercise: to change your behavior, you need to repeat the changes in your thinking. Every day.

"Conclusion: It is irrational to overly focus on the bad behavior of others
and to make yourself judge, jury, and hangman, especially when you consider
that your purpose on this planet is to survive and to enjoy yourself. There
is no reason that people must change their behavior to please you, and when
they do not, you can stand it. Upsetting yourself can sabotage your ability
to live and work happily with others. Anger can lead to arguments and
fights and contribute to the disruption of your relationships with others.
When you are upset with a behavior or situation, identify the irrational
thinking that creates your angry feelings and eliminate that thinking by
Disputing. Then develop your rational thinking and behavior to manage these
difficulties. Finally, try to effect a rational and constructive solution.
When you have done what you can and things do not work out, move on and
refuse to dwell on the problem. Instead, focus on your goals for attaining
happiness!"--Philip Tate, from Alcohol: How To Give It Up and Be Glad You Did

Hey JaySee,
Just don't stop trying. and try not to beat yourself up. I know it's hard not to but your courage is shining brightly.
H

Thanks all. Your support is very much appreciated - although I feel I've failed.

I get really worried about my loss of control. One minute I will be walking in the sunshine thinking how nice it is to be sober - two minutes later I was in the bar.?? I'm trying for the life of me to identify with what happened.?? There doesn't seem to be a trigger - I remember thinking to myself "woa baby - what you doing.??" but there was another side of me that was shouting "Get a few down your neck and you won't care"

But I do care - I care very much. Another lesson learned I suppose. Sorry - I'm just a bit down today.

Much love

JC

We've all been there as you know. Over thinking it, the whys and the whens and the what ifs wont do anything for you.
It's done. Throw the shame stick away and turn it over mate! Some of us never make it back.
No worries.

hey JC

sometimes we need to work an hour at a time matey. try that, and as Joe said on dont quit, he finally stopped thinking about all the bad stuff and focused on getting well, try that too, !!

hugs toy you and have a good sunday
kath