Kathi

Hey Jay -

One night I had an upsetting event happen at home and the only thing I could think to do was get in my car and drive. In hindsight, I realized I had to routes I could go. One would take me down a road with a bunch of stores and entrance to the highway. The other took me past 3 liquor stores and 4 bars - how amazing I took that second route huh ?

But while driving I kept telling myself as I drove by each liquor haven that if I didn't stop my car it would be okay. Knowing that I could end up running out of gas at this rate , I thought of the only other thing I could do and called someone. I got their voicemail and left a message and kept right on driving. Thank God they called me back! When they did I gave myself the permission to finally pull over and I spilled my guts. They talked to me about what my other options were and made sure I was safe before I hung up the phone.

Awareness, IMO, is key to trying to stay sober. If you are aware then by all means somedays it is minute by minute as it was in my situation.

You're here and talking about it, so I know you are aware. Try the minute by minute approach when necessary and see how it works for you. You are in my thoughts, stay strong.

hugs - Kathi

In memory of miracle

Ok so its day one again..thats really all we have you know? Dont waste time beatin your self up if you can,cause you never know if we will get another tommorow.I was a chronic realapser for years and boy did I suffer alot of pain and misery.I just would not surrender.I listened to that lyin voice of my disease and the results were ALWAYS the same.I found when I surrendered and joined a support group (aa saved my life) that it was much easier not to give in to that voice.We all have it you know.I knew how to drink,I didnt know how to live.AA is teachin me a day at a time not only how not to pick up the first drink but also how to live..prayers to you There is a miracle for you ! T.

Don S

Hi, JC
But there IS a trigger. Learning to recognize it is really the key. Focus like a laser beam on the moment of decision, and then work backwards from there. Drinking behavior is firmly engrained in our brains, but it starts as a response to some emotion or belief. Try answering some simple questions...
What won't you care about?
Why won't you care--what does the alcohol do that makes it so you don't care?
How were you feeling when you stepped into the bar?
If your answer seems too simple, ask a more detailed question. When I ask someone 'why do you drink?' it usually turns out to be too open-ended a question. But it can be the starting point. 'Because it makes me feel good'. 'Makes you feel good...about what? how? Describe the 'good' feeling. What were you feeling bad about?'

Once you recognize the triggers, you can plan for them. If urges tend to strike at certain times of day, or in certain places, you can change your daily routine or have an answer ready for that niggling voice.

Drinking behavior is a series of choices that just seem to happen by themselves. Recognizing what leads you to make that choice, planning for the next time while the last time is still fresh in your mind, and doing whatever helps you reaffirm your commitment to abstinence--doing it every day--leads to sobriety. Every day you're sober makes the next one easier.

And don't beat yourself up. It's behavior, not moral failure!

Take care,
Don S

Don S

JaySee

Thanks Don (and all)

I've been looking at the situation again, and I have identified certain patterns of thinking that morning that left me somewhere I didn't want to be. I will use this as a learning experience and not a failure. Thanks for the input - very useful

In memory of miracle

Good to see you posting ! I hope you are feelin better ! *lol* on the booze hound thing! I could relate! Prayers to you ^ :usa1: peace.