Under 30? I would love to here your story
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Well Fletch, I meet the criteria, but just barely! LOL
I'm Missy - alcoholic. In high school, come to find out, I was the peer pressure. Always wanting to drink and drinking until it was gone. Could never just have one. I also was the "happy" drunk. Fun loving, no problems. Never been to jail, no DUI's, always went to work, very rarely got hangovers. But alcoholism is a progressive disease. We are no better then anyone who has had these things happen to them. The key word is they haven't happened to YET! But is quite probable if we continue drinking as we do.
Things got progressively worse for me. Telling lies to my husband, family, and friends. Picking fights to justify my drinking. 3 years ago, I was seperated from my husband and thought I had lost everything. After drinking all afternoon and evening, I took a bottle of xanex, 2 bottles of darviset, and some ibuprofen (just to make sure). I woke up in ICU 2 days later. Was sent to the phychward for 2 days and went home. I quit drinking for a year and things got better. Never admitting then that I had a drinking problem. My husband and I got back together, had a son. I thought I had proven to everyone that I didn't have to drink. So, I started again. And it has just gotten progressively worse yet again. I now have a daughter also, and I know I do not want to be where I was 3 years ago.
It's great that you recognize that you have a problem. It is very hard to achieve the goals you have set for yourself while drinking. I'm proud of you for taking the first steps in getting help. Maybe try AA, get a sponsor, and find a program that works for you. I do AA, and was actually shocked that it does work if you work it!! LOL
Also, try to read what the others had written, even if they are older. They have seen life through drunk eyes and know what they have missed. They are the ones that keep me in check, that I don't want to miss out on my children's lives.
So that's my story! Hope it helps you to know that things do get better. Staying sober can be tough at times, but we help each other through it!
Welcome to our family!!
Hugs,
Missy
I'm Missy - alcoholic. In high school, come to find out, I was the peer pressure. Always wanting to drink and drinking until it was gone. Could never just have one. I also was the "happy" drunk. Fun loving, no problems. Never been to jail, no DUI's, always went to work, very rarely got hangovers. But alcoholism is a progressive disease. We are no better then anyone who has had these things happen to them. The key word is they haven't happened to YET! But is quite probable if we continue drinking as we do.
Things got progressively worse for me. Telling lies to my husband, family, and friends. Picking fights to justify my drinking. 3 years ago, I was seperated from my husband and thought I had lost everything. After drinking all afternoon and evening, I took a bottle of xanex, 2 bottles of darviset, and some ibuprofen (just to make sure). I woke up in ICU 2 days later. Was sent to the phychward for 2 days and went home. I quit drinking for a year and things got better. Never admitting then that I had a drinking problem. My husband and I got back together, had a son. I thought I had proven to everyone that I didn't have to drink. So, I started again. And it has just gotten progressively worse yet again. I now have a daughter also, and I know I do not want to be where I was 3 years ago.
It's great that you recognize that you have a problem. It is very hard to achieve the goals you have set for yourself while drinking. I'm proud of you for taking the first steps in getting help. Maybe try AA, get a sponsor, and find a program that works for you. I do AA, and was actually shocked that it does work if you work it!! LOL
Also, try to read what the others had written, even if they are older. They have seen life through drunk eyes and know what they have missed. They are the ones that keep me in check, that I don't want to miss out on my children's lives.
So that's my story! Hope it helps you to know that things do get better. Staying sober can be tough at times, but we help each other through it!
Welcome to our family!!
Hugs,
Missy
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Denver, Co
Posts: 37
29 and had many experiences
I started smoking pot and drinking at 12, started lsd and mushrooms at 14 and went on that even keel, avoiding massive problems until 21 when i started drinking heavily EVERY day and night I worked as a bartender so it was acceptable. TThen I started cocaine which eventually lead to meth and dealing meth while I was drunk at my job. Then I went back to coke and that lead to $30,000 gone in one summer on crack. Got pregnant and quit EVERYTHING but eventually after he was born went back to drinking and pot and a few crack related relapses. ( my son was always safe) When I lost my job at a DAY SPA for drinking HEAVILY on the job I finally went into treatment. I have 30 days today and got my first sponsor. I just turned 29 last month. Everyone has a story and you would be suprised and horrified if you heard them all. Good luck and God Bless 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Hello, I am Marty an alcololic. I am 28. I have been drinking seriously since about 21. I was always very shy. Didn't make friends well. I was espically miserable towards the end of high school, through early college years. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I had one good friend who took me out to the bars on the weekends. Thats when I found the cure to my problems and anxietys. Alcohol.
When I wasn't out at the bar I was self medicating at home alone. I was very much a social phobe. I looked foward to hiding out in my house watchng TV and drinking till I passed out. Through mid 20's I somehow met and married my wife. Bought a house. My drinking progressed. I would look forwad to that first beer after work every day. I progressed for 2 beers, to like 6 beers on a weeknight. An on weekends I could drink a 5th a day. In my drunken stuppers, I would at times have the urge to out to bars. So I did. Getting black out drunk and not remember getting home was verry common.
My wife was getting fed up with me. I was tired of spending weekends on the bathroom floor. She threatened to leave many times. Each time I tried cutting back. Once I tried keeping it to 3 drinks a day. But how does an alcoholic measure 3 drinks? I would pour a rum and coke, and just keep topping off the rum. I would say I only had a couple, then go over to one of my hidden bottles and take a chug.
My final attempt was to limit drinkng only to Saturdays. My wife aggreed with this. After a few weeks of success, I thought I had this problem licked. So the last Saturday, I got very drunk. Went out, totaled my car and injured another. Right now I face a felony DUI, possible 5 yrs in jail, fines up the wazoo, and posibly civil lawsuits. I have held a promising job, have a decent house, and have been a decent person when sober. All and all life outside of drinking was good for me. Know one knew I had a problem. Needless to say, my life is being turned upside down right now. It hurts really bad. Everthing I worked so hard for falling apart because of alcohol.
I was really depressed first few sober weeks. Couldn't sleep. Had thoughts of ending it. So I called a help line on a card my employer gave me. The person on he other end put me in touch with a therapist. I went to see him. He calmed me down and offered me some hope. He also said I had to go to AA. Walking down the stairs to that church basement changed everything for me. I learned that I was not alone. I learned ther was indeed hope for thos with my problem. Now I look at my situation as a catalyst for the most posative change yet in my life. I am greatfully hear and sober today.
When I wasn't out at the bar I was self medicating at home alone. I was very much a social phobe. I looked foward to hiding out in my house watchng TV and drinking till I passed out. Through mid 20's I somehow met and married my wife. Bought a house. My drinking progressed. I would look forwad to that first beer after work every day. I progressed for 2 beers, to like 6 beers on a weeknight. An on weekends I could drink a 5th a day. In my drunken stuppers, I would at times have the urge to out to bars. So I did. Getting black out drunk and not remember getting home was verry common.
My wife was getting fed up with me. I was tired of spending weekends on the bathroom floor. She threatened to leave many times. Each time I tried cutting back. Once I tried keeping it to 3 drinks a day. But how does an alcoholic measure 3 drinks? I would pour a rum and coke, and just keep topping off the rum. I would say I only had a couple, then go over to one of my hidden bottles and take a chug.
My final attempt was to limit drinkng only to Saturdays. My wife aggreed with this. After a few weeks of success, I thought I had this problem licked. So the last Saturday, I got very drunk. Went out, totaled my car and injured another. Right now I face a felony DUI, possible 5 yrs in jail, fines up the wazoo, and posibly civil lawsuits. I have held a promising job, have a decent house, and have been a decent person when sober. All and all life outside of drinking was good for me. Know one knew I had a problem. Needless to say, my life is being turned upside down right now. It hurts really bad. Everthing I worked so hard for falling apart because of alcohol.
I was really depressed first few sober weeks. Couldn't sleep. Had thoughts of ending it. So I called a help line on a card my employer gave me. The person on he other end put me in touch with a therapist. I went to see him. He calmed me down and offered me some hope. He also said I had to go to AA. Walking down the stairs to that church basement changed everything for me. I learned that I was not alone. I learned ther was indeed hope for thos with my problem. Now I look at my situation as a catalyst for the most posative change yet in my life. I am greatfully hear and sober today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Cornwall, UK
Posts: 15
Hi
I'm Roy, I'm an alcoholic and I'm barely 30, does that count, am I to old?
I started drinking like evryone else, I got drunk first time when I was 15, and then continued through the rest of school, getting drunk now and again, the same as others I thought. Then University for 4 years undergrad, same story every night out I got extremely drunk, again like everyone else I thought, isnt that what people do at Uni, life revolves around booze, then I did a masters,, more Uni more booze, then a PhD more university more boozing, I put my excessive drinking down to the fact that I was single most of the time, young and an eternal student. Then I started a job as a post-doc researcher, I had more money and went to alot of parties rather than clubbing (which were basically an excuse to drink more, after pubs close at 11pm (england)) always got hammered, still living the student lifestyle. I started drinking on my own for the first time that year, about 3 years ago, drinking alot, after a year of this I really started to think for the first time that I wasnt drinking like everyone else, my job was suffering and social life relationships (what relationships) so I went to one AA meeting after a pretty severe hangover, and I quit drinking for a month then I started again (even though I felt great slept better etc everything) I thought I could control it, but I started back as bad as ever and made new drinking buddies, well I carried on then moved to Germany and I didnt have many friends here for a long time but carried on drinking alot, and got into a bit of trouble, got robbed while passed out on a train, got arrested for drunk cycling! spent a night in a german jail cell etc. passed out outside in -20deg celsius many times, amazed I didnt die. One can drink 24/7 in Germany, I started to find my locals, pubs to go to, a landlord became my friend, an alcoholic we would drink all night, I made friends wth other big boozers, and In the last year I drank more than ever in my life, constantly missing days of work, I barely managed a 4 day week, I never had a weekend sober or without dreadful hangovers that lasted 3 days. then 3 and a half months ago after a 4 day drinking binge, my father rang me out of the blue mid sunday afternoon, I saw his name on my mobile but thought I was fine to answer, I was so drunk I could hardly speak to him, he passed me over to my mum, she was shocked they both were, they knew I drank too much ( I was never pissed in front of them , but they knew!) but they never knew I was that bad. That made me think deep and hard, It was a shock to the system, anyway I had a big chat with my mum the next day, and something hit me really, after the phonecall the previous day, what on earth was I doing, drinking had long stopped being fun. I took a long look at where I was in life, sitting alone in a ****** apartment in Berlin getting wasted on my own at almost 30 years of age, ****** clothes, a ****** car, career in reverse, no girlfriend.. one thing lying behind all of that was booze, and my inability to manage my life because of my drinking, So I made a very determined promise to myself to make a darn good effort at quiting, I went to a great AA meeting and at the end I found myself talking , I felt great for talking, I was so nervous but so passionate in wanting to get my life back or get my life started more like, I felt I had to say something, afterwards someone gave me the big book, and I havent had a drink since, I went through withdrawls, sweats and stuff but they went after about 4 days and my sleeping patterns got better, I never slept well when I was drinking, I sleep like a baby now. I got and still get massive urges in some circumstances and some days to drink, but I have got through them somehow. One day at a time.
I feel so much better, I am nicer to people, friendlier, I do more stuff, I have money in my account!! life is so much better.....
If there is a God out there, may he help me stay away from alcohol, and if my ramblings make you think or do something, then thats great. .
Goodnight
Roy
I'm Roy, I'm an alcoholic and I'm barely 30, does that count, am I to old?
I started drinking like evryone else, I got drunk first time when I was 15, and then continued through the rest of school, getting drunk now and again, the same as others I thought. Then University for 4 years undergrad, same story every night out I got extremely drunk, again like everyone else I thought, isnt that what people do at Uni, life revolves around booze, then I did a masters,, more Uni more booze, then a PhD more university more boozing, I put my excessive drinking down to the fact that I was single most of the time, young and an eternal student. Then I started a job as a post-doc researcher, I had more money and went to alot of parties rather than clubbing (which were basically an excuse to drink more, after pubs close at 11pm (england)) always got hammered, still living the student lifestyle. I started drinking on my own for the first time that year, about 3 years ago, drinking alot, after a year of this I really started to think for the first time that I wasnt drinking like everyone else, my job was suffering and social life relationships (what relationships) so I went to one AA meeting after a pretty severe hangover, and I quit drinking for a month then I started again (even though I felt great slept better etc everything) I thought I could control it, but I started back as bad as ever and made new drinking buddies, well I carried on then moved to Germany and I didnt have many friends here for a long time but carried on drinking alot, and got into a bit of trouble, got robbed while passed out on a train, got arrested for drunk cycling! spent a night in a german jail cell etc. passed out outside in -20deg celsius many times, amazed I didnt die. One can drink 24/7 in Germany, I started to find my locals, pubs to go to, a landlord became my friend, an alcoholic we would drink all night, I made friends wth other big boozers, and In the last year I drank more than ever in my life, constantly missing days of work, I barely managed a 4 day week, I never had a weekend sober or without dreadful hangovers that lasted 3 days. then 3 and a half months ago after a 4 day drinking binge, my father rang me out of the blue mid sunday afternoon, I saw his name on my mobile but thought I was fine to answer, I was so drunk I could hardly speak to him, he passed me over to my mum, she was shocked they both were, they knew I drank too much ( I was never pissed in front of them , but they knew!) but they never knew I was that bad. That made me think deep and hard, It was a shock to the system, anyway I had a big chat with my mum the next day, and something hit me really, after the phonecall the previous day, what on earth was I doing, drinking had long stopped being fun. I took a long look at where I was in life, sitting alone in a ****** apartment in Berlin getting wasted on my own at almost 30 years of age, ****** clothes, a ****** car, career in reverse, no girlfriend.. one thing lying behind all of that was booze, and my inability to manage my life because of my drinking, So I made a very determined promise to myself to make a darn good effort at quiting, I went to a great AA meeting and at the end I found myself talking , I felt great for talking, I was so nervous but so passionate in wanting to get my life back or get my life started more like, I felt I had to say something, afterwards someone gave me the big book, and I havent had a drink since, I went through withdrawls, sweats and stuff but they went after about 4 days and my sleeping patterns got better, I never slept well when I was drinking, I sleep like a baby now. I got and still get massive urges in some circumstances and some days to drink, but I have got through them somehow. One day at a time.
I feel so much better, I am nicer to people, friendlier, I do more stuff, I have money in my account!! life is so much better.....
If there is a God out there, may he help me stay away from alcohol, and if my ramblings make you think or do something, then thats great. .
Goodnight
Roy
I'M WAY TO OLD TOO!
LALALA,LA,LALALALALA,LALA.................
Member
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Miami , Florida
Posts: 25
Yo marty
You got strengh brother because if I was you I would have ended that ******** right away. Why did you chose life instead of the end, because of where I stand it could of been better. This aint a provocation Im just drunk... and that is it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Kingstown RI
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by thinkingofwhen22
You got strengh brother because if I was you I would have ended that ******** right away. Why did you chose life instead of the end, because of where I stand it could of been better. This aint a provocation Im just drunk... and that is it.
MARTY - I want you to know that you have my full support. One of the first meetings I went to the speaker was a young girl who had gotten sober once, and then became a drunk again. She went out on her birthday not intending to get drunk but she did. She got in a car wreck and killed her friend in the car and a young girl that she hit head on. She almost died herself (was in a coma for a month and among other things had a leg amputated) and is now living with mental and physical reminders of this everyday yet she is sober. Her story is what gave me the courage to admit that I was an alcoholic because even though those weren't my circumstances, they could have been. Along your path you will be a major inspiration to those who want to become sober, so keep going to those meetings. I wish you luck in all the fall out you must now go through.
Kathi
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Thanks Kathi!
I was a member "it won't happen to me" club. I had countless close calls in the past. Seems like the close calls built up a false sence of confidence. I began to think I wouldn't get cought drinking and driving. I thought it was the other bad drivers who lost control when drunk. No, I couldn't be wrong. Then when you least expect, a tragedy occurs, with consequences beyond belief.
I was a member "it won't happen to me" club. I had countless close calls in the past. Seems like the close calls built up a false sence of confidence. I began to think I wouldn't get cought drinking and driving. I thought it was the other bad drivers who lost control when drunk. No, I couldn't be wrong. Then when you least expect, a tragedy occurs, with consequences beyond belief.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: laughing at my avatar
Posts: 1,636
thinkingofwhen,
how are you doing? keep reaching out to something, we have all been royal assh**** while under the influence of either a drug or alcohol or both. while its not very kind, its what it is and i hope you find your way to total abstinence.
hugs and prayers,
dot
how are you doing? keep reaching out to something, we have all been royal assh**** while under the influence of either a drug or alcohol or both. while its not very kind, its what it is and i hope you find your way to total abstinence.
hugs and prayers,
dot
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: upper, west coast
Posts: 11
I have definetly typed some drunken e-mails. Caused me some some serious anxiety. Everyones story is basically the same so is his. He was drunk, I don't think he was trying to be mean.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Buford, GA
Posts: 55
I'm Josh, 26, Alcoholic...
Got drunk the first time when I was 12.... got sick as a dog. Skipped school once in 7th grade and got wasted on vodka.... got sick as dog. Me and a friend in my neighborhood met this guy up the street who always was having parties on the weekends and we'd go get wasted over there. I was still about 12. I pretty much got drunk just on weekends if it was available and smoked pot a few times. By the time I was 16 or 17, it was really easy to obtain drugs and alcohol and my using became more frequent. By my senior year I was smoking pot every day before and after school but still holding it together... Job, B-average, etc... Got arrested for the first time my senior year, after school when a friend and I had a couple of beers and went out on our skateboards, got stopped by a cop on our way home and were picked up for Underage Consumption. On a school night, too! Skip ahead to age 21... drinking every day, sometimes before or even during work. No one suspected how much or how often I was drinking cuz I was playing it off legit although mom got on to me a couple of times cuz she was suspicious... I had Good grades in college, holding down a job, etc... Anyway, so only a few months after I turn 21, that Halloween, I go to a party after work, I can remember some of it vaguely but I wake up at the Hopital like a week later... Compressed Skull fracture and a broken Femur. My friend was in the hospital, also... he was riding with me when, in my blackout, I lost control of my vehicle and went airborn off the side of the road, rolling over several times before coming to a rest. It was about 4am... Anyway, legal problems, financial, etc.... Went to my first AA meeting January '99 to start doing stuff I figured the judge would have me do anyway... Stayed sober for a chunk of time cuz I wasn't driving. That July 4th, I went to an AA barbeque, saw the fireworks downtown and later that night found my way to a bar and had a couple of drinks. I'm not sure what I was thinking but I was driving again at this point, I was by myself... I just felt like I had to drink... And the drinking and associated problems continued until January 2003 when I had my last drink and got into recovery for real this time.
This is by no means my complete story. You can fill in the gaps with anything you like and get a good alcoholic story, hehe.
'Night all!
-Josh
Got drunk the first time when I was 12.... got sick as a dog. Skipped school once in 7th grade and got wasted on vodka.... got sick as dog. Me and a friend in my neighborhood met this guy up the street who always was having parties on the weekends and we'd go get wasted over there. I was still about 12. I pretty much got drunk just on weekends if it was available and smoked pot a few times. By the time I was 16 or 17, it was really easy to obtain drugs and alcohol and my using became more frequent. By my senior year I was smoking pot every day before and after school but still holding it together... Job, B-average, etc... Got arrested for the first time my senior year, after school when a friend and I had a couple of beers and went out on our skateboards, got stopped by a cop on our way home and were picked up for Underage Consumption. On a school night, too! Skip ahead to age 21... drinking every day, sometimes before or even during work. No one suspected how much or how often I was drinking cuz I was playing it off legit although mom got on to me a couple of times cuz she was suspicious... I had Good grades in college, holding down a job, etc... Anyway, so only a few months after I turn 21, that Halloween, I go to a party after work, I can remember some of it vaguely but I wake up at the Hopital like a week later... Compressed Skull fracture and a broken Femur. My friend was in the hospital, also... he was riding with me when, in my blackout, I lost control of my vehicle and went airborn off the side of the road, rolling over several times before coming to a rest. It was about 4am... Anyway, legal problems, financial, etc.... Went to my first AA meeting January '99 to start doing stuff I figured the judge would have me do anyway... Stayed sober for a chunk of time cuz I wasn't driving. That July 4th, I went to an AA barbeque, saw the fireworks downtown and later that night found my way to a bar and had a couple of drinks. I'm not sure what I was thinking but I was driving again at this point, I was by myself... I just felt like I had to drink... And the drinking and associated problems continued until January 2003 when I had my last drink and got into recovery for real this time.
This is by no means my complete story. You can fill in the gaps with anything you like and get a good alcoholic story, hehe.
'Night all!
-Josh
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: PTY - Panama
Posts: 37
I'm ED, 22, addict
the first time I got drunk I was like 12 or 13 cant really remember, I remember that I found a bottle of chivas regal my dad had "hidden" but it was really visible actually, I remember I was like "hey whiskey,like in the movies. I'll have some whiskey on the rocks" I drank a really good drink of it and I remember it was like whoa... after I used to drink on every weekend until I finished all of my dad's bottles, one day my dad comes to me and asked me what happened to the whiskey and I said that it must have evaporated or something, I dont know if he bought that or not, I think he was in denial. after that used to buy vodka a the store and drink it straight up, and a couple of years later my dad wanted to have a alocohol "conversation", which was basically, he telling me not to drink certain beer because it had too much alcohol, I remember I was laughing so much inside me, thinking yeah I wont drink that stupid beer, beers suck they take to long to get you wasted, I was like 15 at the time, by this time I used to go to parties just so that I could go there and steal the liquor that I could, because I didnt liked hanging out at parties with stupid little kids that are not really enjoying alcohol the way its supposed. but I guess I wasnt either. my favorite activity while being drunk was doing vandalism, I loved that rush of adrenaline, being all drunk smashing windshields and spray painting peoples houses, now that I think about I really have no idea how was I never caught by police or anything, well at that time there was almost no police where I lived so basically my whole neighborhood became my playground. lots of thing happend during this time, senseless fights, more vandalism. when i was 16 and started to smoke pot it was like whoa.. again, I thought this is what is for me, I can get all high and not end up wasted around the corner, and started to smoke pot heaviely after that first high I became a crusader, lsd, shrooms, pills, cough syrup, even some weird anesthesia- ethyl chloride ( I liked the fact that I could get this at the local drugs store without having to go to the getto or anything)
by this time I was so bad in school that decided to stay drop out for like a year. my parents who are alcoholics they thought I used drink ocasionally so I always had the perfect cover up. so they kind of didnt cared much about it. when I finally finished school at age 19. and started college, by the way I took a half-yea off, which i used to consume without the resposability of going to school or studying or anything. when I got to college, I had the chance to do coke, and I was like if I can manage to survive a bad LSD trip I could do cocaine. I was a crusader remember ?, ohh man and coke got into my life, from that moment it was like whoa... is not that bad, its like a power up. I could drink a lot, smoke a lot, do anything a lot, but I always kept it secret since cocaine was not looked good among my pothead friends, but I did it anyways. and I remember that I thought I had problems before cocaine, but it came into my life those problems were multiplied by like hundred, but still I used to smoke pot in order to make me feel better about myself. silly me, luckily for me I had good pothead friends, well is basically just one of all my pothead friends, which we used to call droger, I remember that when he went to rehab and came like a different person, well not different but like improved, I was like whoa... I thought they brainwashed him or something, but when I saw him he was happy, I was started to think that if this guy has been to recovery and he is all happy, maybe I have a problem because even with all the drugs I was doing at the time, I wasnt happy, and as the matter of fact I'm not really that happy now, I still feel the nesesity for drugs, and all the voices in my head are freaking me out. I just want all this to end. and that's what got me into NA. if my friend droger did it, why cant I ?, now he is around 2 years sober and I still wonder how does he do it ?... now today I can say I have 24 hours clean and sober, it may not be much, but damn for me it looks like a lot.
the first time I got drunk I was like 12 or 13 cant really remember, I remember that I found a bottle of chivas regal my dad had "hidden" but it was really visible actually, I remember I was like "hey whiskey,like in the movies. I'll have some whiskey on the rocks" I drank a really good drink of it and I remember it was like whoa... after I used to drink on every weekend until I finished all of my dad's bottles, one day my dad comes to me and asked me what happened to the whiskey and I said that it must have evaporated or something, I dont know if he bought that or not, I think he was in denial. after that used to buy vodka a the store and drink it straight up, and a couple of years later my dad wanted to have a alocohol "conversation", which was basically, he telling me not to drink certain beer because it had too much alcohol, I remember I was laughing so much inside me, thinking yeah I wont drink that stupid beer, beers suck they take to long to get you wasted, I was like 15 at the time, by this time I used to go to parties just so that I could go there and steal the liquor that I could, because I didnt liked hanging out at parties with stupid little kids that are not really enjoying alcohol the way its supposed. but I guess I wasnt either. my favorite activity while being drunk was doing vandalism, I loved that rush of adrenaline, being all drunk smashing windshields and spray painting peoples houses, now that I think about I really have no idea how was I never caught by police or anything, well at that time there was almost no police where I lived so basically my whole neighborhood became my playground. lots of thing happend during this time, senseless fights, more vandalism. when i was 16 and started to smoke pot it was like whoa.. again, I thought this is what is for me, I can get all high and not end up wasted around the corner, and started to smoke pot heaviely after that first high I became a crusader, lsd, shrooms, pills, cough syrup, even some weird anesthesia- ethyl chloride ( I liked the fact that I could get this at the local drugs store without having to go to the getto or anything)
by this time I was so bad in school that decided to stay drop out for like a year. my parents who are alcoholics they thought I used drink ocasionally so I always had the perfect cover up. so they kind of didnt cared much about it. when I finally finished school at age 19. and started college, by the way I took a half-yea off, which i used to consume without the resposability of going to school or studying or anything. when I got to college, I had the chance to do coke, and I was like if I can manage to survive a bad LSD trip I could do cocaine. I was a crusader remember ?, ohh man and coke got into my life, from that moment it was like whoa... is not that bad, its like a power up. I could drink a lot, smoke a lot, do anything a lot, but I always kept it secret since cocaine was not looked good among my pothead friends, but I did it anyways. and I remember that I thought I had problems before cocaine, but it came into my life those problems were multiplied by like hundred, but still I used to smoke pot in order to make me feel better about myself. silly me, luckily for me I had good pothead friends, well is basically just one of all my pothead friends, which we used to call droger, I remember that when he went to rehab and came like a different person, well not different but like improved, I was like whoa... I thought they brainwashed him or something, but when I saw him he was happy, I was started to think that if this guy has been to recovery and he is all happy, maybe I have a problem because even with all the drugs I was doing at the time, I wasnt happy, and as the matter of fact I'm not really that happy now, I still feel the nesesity for drugs, and all the voices in my head are freaking me out. I just want all this to end. and that's what got me into NA. if my friend droger did it, why cant I ?, now he is around 2 years sober and I still wonder how does he do it ?... now today I can say I have 24 hours clean and sober, it may not be much, but damn for me it looks like a lot.
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