YoungAndClean

Yes I would so long as they had a strong program of recovery. In some ways it would be better than dating a normie because we could encourage each other with a deeper level of understanding. We also wouldn't need to keep alcohol in the house and I could talk more openly about AA and recovery. There is a saying, "you shouldn't go looking for a Mercedes Benz at a Junk Yard," but I've met some women at AA with years of sobriety, jobs, and incredible spirituality and self-awareness that is very attractive. I should mention that I am very hesitant to marry a sober women outside of AA because I have no way to gauge their sobriety. I go to meetings 5-7 days a week, have commitments, have a sponsor, work the 12 steps, be of service et cetera. That is what I understand, I do not understand how self-help books, SR, and AVRT, meditation, or anything else keeps anyone sober longterm. I admire and support sober women outside of AA/NA, but I probley wouldn't date one.

Dsam

I have a friend who is an alcoholic and she's been 20 yrs sober. It really depends on the person. Now, my ex husband is an alcoholic and I divorced him after 20 yrs because of it. Funny, that now I am in my own addiction with pills after all those yrs and now I know how he feels.

soberhawk

I though you were asking us out?

NorCaliGal

I currently am. My boyfriend of a year and a half currently has almost three months sobriety under his belt. He's attending classes and AA meetings, and doing well.

fhl41

i currently am, he is 9 years sober i am 9 months sober. I was doing fine until I started having feelings for him now he seems very emotionally unavailable to me maybe he always was but i am only noticing it now. I don't think I am ready for this dating business.

Zube

I'd insist upon it.

Zube

wiscsober

Absolutely....just not me.

BeachyBoy

I have been in an on/off relationship (including engagement) with a woman for 4 years until our breakup two weeks ago. I met her online while I was in Iraq and am still madly in love with her. I guess what drew me to her in the first place was her seemingly fun lifestyle and gusto for the spirits. Me, out of a recent divorce, craved to be with someone who was fun...and pretty too. When we finally connected and over time, I realized she was was a bit heavier drinker than me. Although I noticed this, I didn't care and began to drink as much as her. Over time, I realized this was becoming a negative part of our relationship and a problem. It all came to an end recently when my drunken insecurity reared it ugly head and bender ensued. So, naturely she dumped me. This all being said, back to the poll. Would I date her again (remember I love her). Probably not, unless she embarked on the same journey I have commited to. Otherwise, I cannot be with an alcoholic if I am to never drink again. Now if she made a genuine commitment, I would date and even Marry her. But I don't think that's in the cards. I guess just another sad story.

Enough100

This is a rhetorical question for me as I have been married for 30 years, but no way. Sorry, one drunk in the relationship is too many. My wife used to tell me all the time how she loved me for my inner strength and ability to get through anything. She could never understand why I could not handle it and just put it down. When I finally did put it down, I decided that I would not do anything to ever take a chance that I would return to that behavior. I am sorry to be so judgmental, but this is too important to me and my family.

Enough100

Love the tag line. Yes, I will take the Canolli!

caboblanco

lol..i was going to add something to this but I realized we are talking about canolis now..mm they are good

SoberLife2014

I guess it depends on the person. Everyone has their issues. Plus, when you date a recovering alcoholic at least you know they're already recovering and you won't potentially end up dating someone who winds up in the throws of alcoholism BEFORE they recover.

Mountainmanbob

must admit -- that sounds good

and it would be nice
but
I think that the odds are much greater that one in recovery would relapse
rather that a normal drinker becoming an alcoholic

MM

Joe Nerv

Alright... time to get real here. I'll speak for 99.9% of the men I know. If she were hot enough, yes, they'd date her .

Women tend to be a little more discerning. Sometimes.

TomSawyer

For some reason every time I see this thread, my thought is, 'oh yeah, nobody will want to date me because I'm a recovering alcoholic'. When will this thread be put to rest!?

Sorry, I know it's been a popular thread. Just sharing what is on my mind every time I see this thread pop up, again.

jaynie04

We do? Argh, I missed that page in the rule book…!

jaynie04

So if I bump it in your honor that would be obnoxious right?…..

TomSawyer

Well technically I bumped it myself so I really can't complain at this point haha.

jaynie04

I guess we can chalk it up to things that go bump in the night…….!

Joe Nerv

For some reason every time I saw this thread, I kept thinking what I finally posted.

When I was fairly new in sobriety, I went to a meeting one night with a friend, and the meeting was closed. There was only one other guy there, and while we didn't have an official meeting with the 3 of is, we had an awesome encounter. The guy was a little nuts, but I needed to hear what he had to say. He was another young dude, around 25, and kept on ranting about what a commodity he felt he had become in the dating world, since he became sober. He was funny as hell... kept on using the word "commodity", so it stuck with me and the friend I had gone with. For years after we talked about what a commodity we were. Anyhow, I don't remember exactly what the guy was saying, but it was along the lines of... "I show up when I say I will, I never get drunk and ruin a night for someone, I'm always OK to drive and can be the designated driver every time, nobody has to deal with my hangovers, I go to work, I'm responsible, I don't throw all my money away on weekends, I don't get drunk and cheat... I'm a frikken commodity!!!!! How cool is that!!!!" I wish I had a recording of the guy, as I can't recreate his enthusiasm and (unintended) message. It was awesome, and it stuck. He wasn't trying to sell us anything, he was just crazy happy about the fact that he no longer drank and became an awesome person for a girl to go out with.

I believe in the dating world that sober alcoholics are indeed commodities. I personally don't think I mix well in a relationship with other recovering alcoholics, but I never ruled it out, and I think we (or I should say I) mix really well with the "regular" people out there. I think we're much better partners than the heavy drinkers, and I never had any desire to have a heavy drinking as a partner anyhow. Except when I was drinking.

I think you're way off in your thinking that nobody will want to date you because you're a sober alcoholic. Stop thinking it, cuz it's not true. You're a commodity!!!!

An afterthought... I never considered myself a recovering or sober alcoholic when I was dating. To the women I was dating, anyhow. I was simply a person who didn't drink. And if they wanted to know why, I'd say because my life is much better without alcohol in it. Or I just don't for health reasons. It was never an issue, and if it were it would only be an issue because that person wanted to drink more than I'd have been comfortable with anyhow.