rockindog

I haven't posted in while as there has not been much to say. While in the past 6 months or so, I have had a few sober stints, the longest being 14 days, I have continued to drink. Some days to the point of not going to work or meeting those work obligations. Really aren't able and mostly don't care. As a self-employed person, I am able to mostly work around these absences. But, for the most part, the problem continually, slowly, gradually is getting worse. I have a lot of work related stress and the only momentary relief is alone, drinking. I am beginning to turn the 5th into a daily event so no real fall down drunkenness. However, I did stumble about two weeks ago and think I broke a toe. Still bruised and hurts to walk. I don't know how to stop. Those 14 days kind of woke me up to see things a bit differently and then back into the routine. It's 6 am. I have been up over two hours. Early for me. My plan is to head into work, try to be productive and ultimately, find a way to drink. Once the nervousness/agitation returns mid-day. Man, this is not where I saw myself being 20 or even 10 years ago at mid-life. But, I suspect that if things don't change, I'm way past mid-life. I see more and more moments where the best alternative seems to be end it yet leave my family financially secure. Sorry for the vent, but seemed time to use this board for what it is meant for. Hope everyone has a good Monday.

visch1

Hi. Perhaps when we lose everything it's time to do something? That's an option. I guarantee if we continue to drink any alcohol things will get worse for us alcoholics. Stopping is the way out by way of AA or these forums. Being honest with ourselves and not picking up the first drink is a starter. Doing what other successful people do is a way to start the beginning of the good life. BE WELL

Busby56

I know all about the escape from stress at work. I've got a job where I'm in way over my head. I got promoted back in 2010 and, believe it or not, I really wish I hadn't. It's a constant struggle for me to keep up with it, and drinking was a refuge for me.

I've been on the wagon for two weeks now so I'm really trying to get a handle on the stress aspect.

Best wishes, rockindog...you just gotta give the stuff up, or it's going to wreck you. Most of us here have first-hand knowledge of that.