Mirage74

I realize I am an alcoholic and have done damage to my life with drinking, but the drinking wasn't all bad for me. I had a lot of good times drinking. It just got to the point where it was more bad than good.

I've been listening to a lot of music over the past week and I realize it's weird listening to a lot of it sober. One of the things I liked to do while using was crank up some tunes! I think about going to concerts, sporting events, bars, watching football on Saturday and Sunday afternoons (and nights), all things I used to do while drinking. The thought of doing those things sober, well, it just doesn't seem as much fun, and it kind of bums me out.

Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest. Anyone else ever think about this?

Tamerua

I was sitting in Bonefish Grill the other night with my appetizer and I looked around and everyone had a drink. Honestly, I think I saw one pregnant girl who had water. And I thought, man. Cold white with my salmon would be awesome. Then I remembered that I NEVER had just one glass. It was always more,.. Then stopped on the way home for a bottle of wine. And then pass out because you never just go to sleep when you're drunk.

Point is, I had tons of good times, but the couple of bad (who am I kidding, it was more than a couple) but I like the sober me more. You will learn to have fun at all of those things sober. Give It time.

pkrma

Yeah of course I think everyone does this.

If you need to drink to enjoy something, then the truth is that it's really not enjoyable for you. There are things in life that are worth doing, those are the things that feel better doing sober than drunk. Just figure out what those things are, and sobriety gets a little easier.

caboblanco

I have daydream fantasies about drinking a lot. I had a lot of fun drinking too. Going out with my girl to a lounge and getting a nice buzz. being romantic etc. I quit because of my physical health. I know that most people on here will claim that drinking is all horrible but that wasn't the case with me.

hypochondriac

It's weird you just posted this because I was thinking the exact same thing last night. I had my computer fixed and found some music I haven't listened to for ages. I had some associations with music which I think I got over, listening to heavy metal drinking beer... I didn't think too much about my Jazz/Gin relationship til I found this Art Blakey album and I swear I needed to drink listening to that. It threw me a bit then I decided to change the association and have a bath and read for a bit. It's now my bath album not my pissed on gin album

Mirage74

Well, I still actually do enjoy doing those things, they are some of my favorite things to do. I just have never really done them sober.

wheresthefun

No.

doggonecarl

Anyone ever romanticize drinking still?

Not since I learned the difference between "recovery" and just "quitting drinking."

I could always talk myself out of quitting by convincing myself how wonderful alcohol was and how much fun I had. But recovery was about learning that I didn't need alcohol to enjoy life anymore.

Hope you find the same peace.

Jeni26

I think I'm lucky in that drinking towards the end wasn't at all pretty. I never had just 1 or 2 glasses with dinner, I used to start drinking while I was cooking and then couldn't/didn't want to eat. I drank to get drunk always. No fun times, not towards the end.

So, no I don't romanticise about it, because it isn't associated with happiness in my mind.

The only times I've felt tempted in the past few months is when I've wanted to run away from a problem that seems too big to face. The thought of being someplace other than inside my own head has seemed appealing from time to time.

Luckily though I've got a great support network here on SR and in AA, and it's been that that's pulled me through.

As someone much wiser than me told me once, there's no problem so big that a drink couldn't make a damned sight worse. Very very true.

Justfor1

I use to enjoy drinking on Sundays & watching football in the bars. I try to remember though that the although the majority of people are drinking, they are doing it socially. Most people are not thinking about going to the bathroom to drink the flask of vodka that I would have in my pocket. Most people also aren't thinking about the drugs they will buy later that evening.

oak

I still romanticize it. The longer I stay sober, the less I romanticize alcohol.

I also have worked to link alcohol with the negative consequences. When thoughts of alcohol came up, I consciously brought up memories of nausea, regret, disappointment, anything negative from drinking. Now, when I think of alcohol, those negative thoughts come up spontaneously. It does help me.

I did not drink that much, but the enjoyable parts of drinking were decreasing quickly and the negatives were increasing quickly during the last few times I tried drinking. But I relate to having some good memories. I think consciously linking the bad memories to alcohol helped me because I cannot think only of the good memories now.

It sounds like there are things like music and sports games that are triggers for you. Over time, music and sports can be connected to other things.

Mirage74

I hear what some of you are saying. For me, and this is being completely honest, drinking still worked for me (while I was, literally, drinking). I still enjoyed it. I've heard people who say it quit working for them, that didn't happen to me. I just can't live with the consequences of my drinking - the hangovers, the decreased motivation, the all-day obsession of when I was going to be able to start drinking, the wasted money, the guilt, etc. Although every new day I'm sober the idea of getting drunk gets slightly less and less appealing, like why would I want to do that to myself again?? But, it's just ingrained in our society that drinking is a part of so many things - sporting events, concerts, art shows, parties, weddings, etc. I even know of some movie theaters that sell beer. It's just the idea of doing some of these things sober is going to take some getting used to, especially since I have some good memories of doing them while I was using. I'm just thinking out loud here...

hypochondriac

I think this may just be a different understanding of language here. I am pretty sure that not being able to deal with the consequences is what people mean when they say drinking stopped working for them. That is what it was with me anyway. I still enjoyed drinking but the consequences were unbearable, therefore it stopped working as a viable coping strategy. I found it nearly impossible to stop because I couldn't imagine my life without it though. I really felt like I had to force my way through those early days and gradually it became easier. But I still get the odd occasion where I think a drink is a good idea. You are right that those things are really ingrained, but it is possible to go against the grain x

Fallow

I have been romancing the idea less and less. A couple of recent incidents where I saw the drunken behaviors of some of my friends helped me to remember I have no interest in that type of activity or behavior.

The internal battle comes and goes but I think it is easier to win that battle as time goes on.

StevenT

Romanticizing, no. To me that means taking the idea, the desire, and putting it in a positive light, telling myself that it's not only ok but it something that I would love to do. Every time I did that I ended up doing whatever I was romanticizing.

But I still think about it from time to time. I never let it go far because the consequences of the first one are too much for me to want to do again. The desire does pop its ugly head in occasionally though.

deeker

I found new sober social outlets with friends in AA/NA. Bars are out! But football games, concerts can all be enjoyed and safer going with someone who definitley knows your goal is to stay sober and keeps you accountable. Preferably another recovering alkie.


Just don't expect to have fun at these events at first. So unless you want to go and feel all sorry for yourself (my experience), just don't go cuz that is what will happen.


And it's a lot easier to stay sober avoiding these functions in early recovery. There will always be concerts and football games. Take care of yourself first. It does get easier.

Once I got sober and started appreciating sobriety after about 8 months of going to meetings regularly and working a solid program in AA/NA I went to my Son's College weekend bbq , then to a football game and there was alcohol everywhere and people spilling their beers. Some guy had a backpack with grain alcohol coming thru a tube and he put it right up to me and said hey Mrs. d, you want some? It smelled so nasty and he was slurring and I was so turned off by it. I was so grateful for my sobriety and the fact that I was gonna remember this special day with my Son.

So I guess what I am saying is that if sobriety is your goal do whatever you can to reach it and protect it and don't risk it early on.


You will get stronger and the obsession may even be completely lifted. But you will find once you are sober awhile that looking at behavior of others drinking isn't as cool as u once thought.

But u just have to give it time. It all works out as long as you work has hard at your recovery as you did at your drinking.

Dee74

I romanced it for a long time. Most of the people I looked up to as a young man - the writers and painters and musicians...my idols, were all drinkers and drug addicts.

I had a lot of fun too - in the beginning...then spent nearly 30 years doping and drinking trying to get that fun back.

I never did and never would have..

Eventually the reality wore down the romance - it took decades, but finally I was ready to give anything for a 'normal' life.

I'm still grateful I got that second chance, and I hope I never forget that gratitude, because it keeps me grounded and it keeps that false nostalgia at bay.

D

freshstart57

Any thought about drinking again, romanticizing, whatever you might like to call it, is part of my addiction, and no longer part of me. These thoughts still come, but now only rarely, and I recognize them as AV, and therefore just *meh*. Neither here nor there, empty of any value.

mkg1116

When I was in treatment I was told to follow the story through when I thought about drinking, or remembered the good times, or glorified it with others. If I was seriously thinking about it and remembering only all the good I would sit down and write it out, including the potential consequences. ALL the potential consequences, because I didn't know which, would happen. Hell, they all could've happened in one fell swoop! As soon as I saw that list, I was soooooo over it. This is just something that worked for me, and I was one who had a great time drinking with not as many serious consequences as well. But like someone said - not being able to live with the consequences you mention IS alcohol not working for you!

freshstart57

Mkg1116, this is sometimes called a 'cost - benefit analysis', a useful CBT tool that is a mainstay of SMART (Self Management and Recovery Training) recovery. It can be very helpful as part of a self empowerment approach to sobriety maintenance.