FinallyFinished

Or less sick, for that matter. I might be happier though.

soberhope1984

Man, I been watching a few of your threads / post, and I would like to wish you the best of luck. As you said... go in there sober and get help for what you need. Reading your post I feel a-lot like you do in many ways... mainly neglected.... because I once decided / found out that picking up the bottle could help for many problems. There is hope though man, and I wish you the best of luck in finding it. Be honest with your docs, and if you have to mention alcohol to them, at-least let them know that it is a problem you are working on, and even mention your AA attempts, rehab attempts, and so on... maybe they can see that isn't where your problems come from.. but maybe deeper problems inside. (I feel for you)

tjhook

I have read many of your posts and have been here 5 or so years, I don't hate ya at all. You are a real person with demons...I sure can relate to that. I am heading to jail Monday for about 3 months, I also don't have a job or insurance.

There are many ways I can relate with you and where you may be mentally....I wish you the best.
TJ

ru12

Just, I happen to wish that you can find a way to lessen the suffering you feel. I have nothing but compassion for you.

Threshold

One of the freedoms of recovery for me has been learning the difference between my feelings and reality.

One of those things is that just because people aren't blowing smoke up my arse, it doesn't mean they hate me.

ANd just because I am not heaping insult upon myself doesn't meant I don't recognize and adress my actual short comings.

In active addiction it's all black/white. good/bad...no middleground. All judgment and no reality.

learning to let things be what they are, including myself. has made life a much more comfortable place to be.

Justfor1

Thank you everyone who posted. I received some helpful private messages also. I noticed many of the "tough talkers" have stayed out of this thread. I felt bullied &, hopefully, some posters will speak with their sponsers about it. I'm not sure I will get into the psych ward. You have to say that you are suicidal or want to hurt someone to get in. I just want to get my meds adjusted. Hopefully, I can see my doctor this week. I especially need my anti-anxiety meds.

Justfor1

[QUOTE=tjhook;3961360]I have read many of your posts and have been here 5 or so years, I don't hate ya at all. You are a real person with demons...I sure can relate to that. I am heading to jail Monday for about 3 months, I also don't have a job or insurance.

I wish you luck. I know jail is not a fun place. Luckily, I only received "community service" for my DUI's. It's weird that I'm having more problems explaining my DUI's to potential employers than my aggravated assault violence case that I went to jail (should of been prison) for.

babycat

I think many of your "tough talkers" feel tired of wasting their time on someone who wont listen to anything they offer.
I am glad you are getting help. That is great. But you HAVE GOT TO STOP WITH YOUR PITY PARTY. It is doing absolutely no good for you to talk about how much you hate yourself and everyone hates you and you hate everyone. It is going to accomplish nothing for you, except hurdles . And it is not true (at least the hatred you feel coming from others.)
Mental issues are a bitch, almost everyone one on my dad's side of the family (myself included) suffer form them. Some more than others. But the right treatment can do wonders. I hope you can find it and stick with it.

Anna

I really hope you find the help you need.

sparky78

I wish you the best. Not sure if not going to the psych ward is the best thing considering that you just ended up at the hospital and could have died and have trouble getting a dr's appt. Can they help get you in sooner to see a dr? Sometimes mental illness can be tricky, right now you may feel ok to wait to see a dr but how will you feel in a few days? I have a friend with pretty bad bipolar who wants to go to various treatments and then ends up talking herself out of needing them, and as a result, keeps relapsing and is not getting better. I'm not saying you're doing this, as I know her very well and just have read many of your posts, but its something to think about.

Justfor1

sparky, I have dozens of those types of scary ER visits. I overdosed snorting heroin once also. That is part of the reason I think I may be insane. I just am not afraid of the consequences anymore. Although, I am posting here about it so maybe I do care somewhat? I will decide on something, for sure, this week. I don't like the thought of in-patient rehab. It's a waste of my time & their time. The last rehab told me I was just a "garden variety drunk". Needless to say, I walked out.

Dee74

I think that comes with the territory of long term abuse Just.
It's much easier to do crazy stuff when we tell ourselves we don't care.

I agree you must still care a bit tho or you wouldn't be here.

D

venuscat

Justfor1 ~ I'm glad you posted here. I know what it's like to feel insane. I din't like it at all, and I'm sure you don't either. I really hope you get to see your doctor this week and have your meds adjusted.

For the meantime, we're with you.

Love Venus xx

soberlicious

I personally don't hate you...how could I? I don't even know you.

Not sure why the focus on the "tough talkers". You are always very authentic in your posts and say things as you see them even if they at times offend others. I like that about your posts. You're straightforward. You might consider affording others the same freedom.

As I have told you before, I believe you can do this and I'm glad you are reaching out to whatever resources are available. Drinking, using, and being homeless is hard hard work. It's exhausting on the mind and the body. The fact that you have made it this far alive shows real grit. You have lived circumstances that many others simply do not survive. Use that to your advantage...use the same tenacity toward getting better.

I sincerely hope you find some relief soon. xo

WhyIsThisMyLife

(Justfor1). As its known alcohol abuse is usually a form of self medication. Get your mental problems help may help your problems with alcohol. I've been in state hospitals for depression (not related to alcohol) and never felt I received any help.i could barely tolerate it, but if it helps you, that's good. I really wish you the best.