Don't want to keep going
 

I thought that after eight months of sobriety, I would be in a better place. I feel like the aftermath of my alcoholism has ruined my life and from that there is no recovery. Financially, emotionally and physically, everywhere I look, I feel that I have lost so very much I will never really be ok again. I have gone through the self pitty and that isn't where I am. I don't want to drink again either, I am just tired of getting up every morning and facing the same trainwreck of a life I created years ago when my drinking got so out of control. I would rather just lay still and let time pass.The ONLY thing keeping me moving is my kids. If anyone has gotten through "this part" while feeling this way, I would really like to hear how you did it. Thank you.

I don't have kids, but I have fur kids which mean as much to me... I had a slip after 14 months of sobriety (alot of people could just call it a night out) After all this time, I have guilt... who wouldn't. I went through alot of shiz, including a month in hospital with alcoholic hepatitis and malnutritian, was convinced I had cirrhosis... turns out my liver is healthy again.... I think of all the things I could have bought.... blah blah.... It's how you are doing NOW is the main thing .... are you after tough love or are you happy on your pity pot lol :ring

HI. Just try to hang in there. If your in AA I'd suggest using your sponsor at least daily. Perhaps a therapist would be in order as well. The bottom line is just don't pick up so you don't have to sober up again. BE WELL

Hi MeFree

for me, to be happy, I had to do more than just stop drinking.
I had a lot of things to fix up in myself and my life.

How much of that kind of work have you done?

D

if nothin changed, nothin was gonna change. i had to stop expecting life to change just because i stopped drinking and put in the footwork to change.
if yer still facing the same wreckage of yer past, ya may want to clear it away. for every problem, there is a solution. solutions require action.

Unfortunately, as said above, wreckage requires clearing.In most ways I am not any better at it than I was when I was drinking. But as tomsteve mentioned, there are solutions. I find that I can only tackle one problem/mess at a time (and maybe start on another while that one is working). Credit cards will lower their APRs and work with you on a payment plan, living situations can gradually over time get better (if you have possessions, sell everything you can (Craig's list is great for that). If you have lost everything but yourself, well, at every turn I see "stuff" I wish I had not bought and think of life's gifts I missed while trying to plug those holes with things.

If you have no-thing(s) go volunteer yourself somewhere. I do the ASPCA, but may involve myself in the soup program at local churches. Etc. etc.

Talk a bit about some of your problems here and I bet people will help you with solutions. Every little act will help your sense of well-being.

I can really identify. I remeber not wanting to be drunk, but not wanting to be sober. What a weird feeling. I had to start working through the pain, moving forward. Look but don't stare is what my sponcor says. I agree with the other posters, maybe find a program that interests you and start slowly. And remember, small doses, this is a journey. It took us years to get where we are. Lots of luck :)

awesome reminder for me. thanks!! if i stare to long, i get all buggered up. but when i say,"yup, i was quite a tornado. thank God im not that man any more" i get back to serenity.

working through the pain...what a concept! all i did when drinkin was try and go around it.kept ending up back in the same spot: gloom,dispair, and misery. then i started workingthrough it!1 wow!! how amazing!!
yeah...slow progress. pretty hard for an impatient perfectionist, but it really is th ebest way for me.
thanks again. i need to remember to not stare and keep movin forward.

I always reminded myself of just how much worse things would be if I went back out.
I also like to remind myself that many things have improved because of my sobriety.
It was a long road to ruin and it's a long road to return.

What positive changes have you experienced in the last 8 months sober?

Life always seemed to fall short of my expectations too. I had to learn to quit expecting.

Putting the drink down was just the first move in my recovery process, learning to live sober and serene was (is) the big challenge for an alcoholic like me.

The only thing that I found to work and keep working was commitment to the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous ... and it works like a charm for me.

It could work for you as well if you committed to it. What do you have to lose ??

All the best.

Bob R