I am sorry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 19
I am sorry
I am sorry I'm new here not sure if this post belongs here, I'm a 26 year old disabled person with spina bifida.. Hmm how to start my story I was a party animal from the age of 19 During those years I spent falling out of clubs, Falling out of friends and falling out of my wheelchair, I spent a good 7 years doing that and it being the norm.. But then I ended up hurting my best friends one which I use to date (I broke up with her due to a hangover) I did move into my own place after my mother kicked me out and continued the party life style...But a year later she took me back and now she buys me as much vodka as I need because in her words "I don't want you to kick off".. This post maybe doesn't make alot of sense since I am drunk right now.. But I've self-harmed over the years and I found drinking is the best self harm without the scars.. Yet now I am on lansoprazole with bad stomach pain.. And unlike you fair strong people I don't want to give up and I'm sorry for the jumble mess which is this post!
Sober starting May 19, 2013
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 93
OK, first off, you can decide that you've had enough drinking. I made the same decision a week ago. Actually, three weeks ago but then I went ahead and got hammered again the following weekend. Now I'm on day 8 of being sober.
I have a genetic condition that leads to collapsing lungs and kidney cancer. No treatment for it in advance, just treat what happens. I've had surgery on my lungs and also had a kidney removed back in 2008. It sucks having the disease hang over my head all the time but there are people a lot worse off than I am (yeah, that's easy for "X" to say). But I did feel sorry for myself, and I'm also am having tough times at home and at work...drinking made me feel good for a few hours. But I decided those few hours weren't worth ruining my health for good.
I'm at the doc right now, hoping I didn't blow out my pancreas for good.
Anyway, my advice is to bail out while you still can. The plane you're piloting(and so was I until recently) is on a direct, quick path to a fiery crash.
Best wishes to you, my friend.
I have a genetic condition that leads to collapsing lungs and kidney cancer. No treatment for it in advance, just treat what happens. I've had surgery on my lungs and also had a kidney removed back in 2008. It sucks having the disease hang over my head all the time but there are people a lot worse off than I am (yeah, that's easy for "X" to say). But I did feel sorry for myself, and I'm also am having tough times at home and at work...drinking made me feel good for a few hours. But I decided those few hours weren't worth ruining my health for good.
I'm at the doc right now, hoping I didn't blow out my pancreas for good.
Anyway, my advice is to bail out while you still can. The plane you're piloting(and so was I until recently) is on a direct, quick path to a fiery crash.
Best wishes to you, my friend.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Welcome Nate.
You and busby kinda out things in perspective. I have alcoholism which is known as a progressive fatal disease for which there is no cure. It can, however, be arrested by following a few simple rules.
A few years ago my wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness. There was no hope of recovery, but if we were willing to take the suggested treatment and follow some instructions and turn up to appointments etc we could buy some more time.
We did exactly that, followed every instruction to the letter, took the prescribed medication, turned up to every appointment, and I am sure you guys do the same.
But when it comes to the alcoholic being offered a solution it's "oh no I don't like that bit, I'm not doing that, I haven't got time for that, this bit will be ok but I don't need that part, I might do some of that but the rest is not for me.... " If the patient with any other disease reacted like that, they would be questioning his sanity.
I suppose the really sad thing is that with some medical conditions, complete recovery is not always possible and the prognosis is that a condition can be managed but will get worse over time. With the alcoholic, the difference between the misery and suffering of active alcoholism, and the happy joyous and free life of the recovered alcoholic, is so vast it's hard to believe they are the same person. You'd think we would be falling over ourselves to get that
You and busby kinda out things in perspective. I have alcoholism which is known as a progressive fatal disease for which there is no cure. It can, however, be arrested by following a few simple rules.
A few years ago my wife was diagnosed with a terminal illness. There was no hope of recovery, but if we were willing to take the suggested treatment and follow some instructions and turn up to appointments etc we could buy some more time.
We did exactly that, followed every instruction to the letter, took the prescribed medication, turned up to every appointment, and I am sure you guys do the same.
But when it comes to the alcoholic being offered a solution it's "oh no I don't like that bit, I'm not doing that, I haven't got time for that, this bit will be ok but I don't need that part, I might do some of that but the rest is not for me.... " If the patient with any other disease reacted like that, they would be questioning his sanity.
I suppose the really sad thing is that with some medical conditions, complete recovery is not always possible and the prognosis is that a condition can be managed but will get worse over time. With the alcoholic, the difference between the misery and suffering of active alcoholism, and the happy joyous and free life of the recovered alcoholic, is so vast it's hard to believe they are the same person. You'd think we would be falling over ourselves to get that
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Nate
There are actually quite a few of us here who deal with disability.
I spent years trying to medicate my physical and mental condition.
I also spent a lot of years being the crazy party guy because how much more damage could I do, right?
The answer was...quite a lot more damage, I'm afraid.
If you decide you want to quit Nate - this is definitely the place to be,. Hope we see you again
There are actually quite a few of us here who deal with disability.
I spent years trying to medicate my physical and mental condition.
I also spent a lot of years being the crazy party guy because how much more damage could I do, right?
The answer was...quite a lot more damage, I'm afraid.
If you decide you want to quit Nate - this is definitely the place to be,. Hope we see you again
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
My thoughts are that you do want to give up and have taken your first step in admitting that you are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable as a result. Why else would you be here? Whether you take the next step and stop drinking is entirely up to you. We will help you if you do.
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