Anoronha

I just finished step 3 today with sponsor. Now I have to read the 12 by 12 on step 4 and big book and we are going to discuss it next week then I start making my list. I'm nervous and scared not sure what to expect or how I am going to feel completing this step. Not sure if I am ready to talk about somethings from my past too ashamed to do so.

Grymt

I've never had a sponsor. I've never sought one. Is it so that one must reveal everything on a list with another person? I can understand becoming self aware and reconciling things and lists of some sort are helpful. Can that be sufficient?

bbthumper

From "Into Action" in the Big Book
"This is perhaps difficult - especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story"

bbthumper

It is truly a leap of faith, but trust that it has worked for others and will work for you. Our secrets can only harm us if they are kept secrets.

Grymt

Thanks bbthumper. It asks that we talk about things with another person for the beneficial effects from doing so. I think that is quite acceptable. I think the statement : ''Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so.'' asks us to find that reason. Reasons are being suggested. When one finds ones reason it is time to do as suggested. IOW you find discernment through the process. Only hand your power to a higher one.