I think I am an alcoholic
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4
I think I am an alcoholic
Hello everybody, my name is Zack. I'm 20 years old and I'm from St. Paul, MN but I am currently attending college at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I think I have a drinking problem(you all know how it goes, if I think I have a problem, I probably do.)
I will do my best to give a background story on my drinking. I am currently sober for those who may be wondering.
I would not consider myself a "full-fledged" or "raging" alcoholic. I do not drink every day, at least not anymore. There was a time this winter where I drank almost every night for over 3 weeks. Each night I was consuming about 16-20oz of vodka. That was before my fake ID got taken away.
Ever since then, I have cut down(not really by choice) the number of days I drink. It's usually just weekends now. Unless I have booze available during the week. If I have it, I'll drink it. But when I do drink now, I drink until I can drink no more. I am incapable of just enjoying a beer with dinner. This past weekend all my good friends went home and I was here all by myself. So I got a 1.75 of vodka and finished 2/3 of it over a span of 12 hours. Woke up at 1pm the next day and finished the bottle off. My alcohol tolerance is through the roof.
I know that I am heading down a path that I do not want to go down, but I'm just not sure I am ready to completely give up alcohol at this point in my life. I haven't even turned 21 yet. I am in college, and a "party" school at that. These are the years that I'm supposed to be having the time of my life(which in my mind includes drinking.) I know that this is the wrong way to look at it, but I can't help but be scared of being labeled an alcoholic before I even turn the legal drinking age.
I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. I really haven't even explored what alcoholism truly is yet. I've just been really depressed these past few weeks due to alcohol and other personal problems and that led me here.
I know that the best decision is to quit now, but if I am not ready for that quite yet do I have any other options? Maybe I can try to get my drinking under control? Thank you for any help, god bless.
I will do my best to give a background story on my drinking. I am currently sober for those who may be wondering.
I would not consider myself a "full-fledged" or "raging" alcoholic. I do not drink every day, at least not anymore. There was a time this winter where I drank almost every night for over 3 weeks. Each night I was consuming about 16-20oz of vodka. That was before my fake ID got taken away.
Ever since then, I have cut down(not really by choice) the number of days I drink. It's usually just weekends now. Unless I have booze available during the week. If I have it, I'll drink it. But when I do drink now, I drink until I can drink no more. I am incapable of just enjoying a beer with dinner. This past weekend all my good friends went home and I was here all by myself. So I got a 1.75 of vodka and finished 2/3 of it over a span of 12 hours. Woke up at 1pm the next day and finished the bottle off. My alcohol tolerance is through the roof.
I know that I am heading down a path that I do not want to go down, but I'm just not sure I am ready to completely give up alcohol at this point in my life. I haven't even turned 21 yet. I am in college, and a "party" school at that. These are the years that I'm supposed to be having the time of my life(which in my mind includes drinking.) I know that this is the wrong way to look at it, but I can't help but be scared of being labeled an alcoholic before I even turn the legal drinking age.
I guess I'm just looking for some guidance. I really haven't even explored what alcoholism truly is yet. I've just been really depressed these past few weeks due to alcohol and other personal problems and that led me here.
I know that the best decision is to quit now, but if I am not ready for that quite yet do I have any other options? Maybe I can try to get my drinking under control? Thank you for any help, god bless.
. I've been an alcoholic twice as long as you've been alive. Yes, please, get rid of the problem at your age. Don't waste a lifetime like I did. Rootin for ya. 
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
Hi Zack, it's tough to say if you are or aren't. Do you feel you need to drink, or do you just go all out when you do?
I was in a similar situation when I was your age that I didn't drink all the time, but when I did, it went all out every time getting trashed. Over time it progressed, and by the time I was 25, I was drinking vodka like a madman every day. I'm in my 30's, and have cut down the drinking quit a bit, but still trying my best to get myself off the sauce.
On the flipside, I was dating a girl in my mid 20's that would get knock down, drag out drunk with me all the time, but then could put it down for weeks or months at a time, and wouldn't think anything of it.
There are people whom just can't control themselves when they drink, but aren't alcoholics. Though this type of drinking can pave the way to alcoholism down the road,..
I was in a similar situation when I was your age that I didn't drink all the time, but when I did, it went all out every time getting trashed. Over time it progressed, and by the time I was 25, I was drinking vodka like a madman every day. I'm in my 30's, and have cut down the drinking quit a bit, but still trying my best to get myself off the sauce.
On the flipside, I was dating a girl in my mid 20's that would get knock down, drag out drunk with me all the time, but then could put it down for weeks or months at a time, and wouldn't think anything of it.
There are people whom just can't control themselves when they drink, but aren't alcoholics. Though this type of drinking can pave the way to alcoholism down the road,..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by Forward12 
Hi Zack, it's tough to say if you are or aren't. Do you feel you need to drink, or do you just go all out when you do?
I was in a similar situation when I was your age that I didn't drink all the time, but when I did, it went all out every time getting trashed. Over time it progressed, and by the time I was 25, I was drinking vodka like a madman every day. I'm in my 30's, and have cut down the drinking quit a bit, but still trying my best to get myself off the sauce.
On the flipside, I was dating a girl in my mid 20's that would get knock down, drag out drunk with me all the time, but then could put it down for weeks or months at a time, and wouldn't think anything of it.
There are people whom just can't control themselves when they drink, but aren't alcoholics. Though this type of drinking can pave the way to alcoholism down the road,..
I was in a similar situation when I was your age that I didn't drink all the time, but when I did, it went all out every time getting trashed. Over time it progressed, and by the time I was 25, I was drinking vodka like a madman every day. I'm in my 30's, and have cut down the drinking quit a bit, but still trying my best to get myself off the sauce.
On the flipside, I was dating a girl in my mid 20's that would get knock down, drag out drunk with me all the time, but then could put it down for weeks or months at a time, and wouldn't think anything of it.
There are people whom just can't control themselves when they drink, but aren't alcoholics. Though this type of drinking can pave the way to alcoholism down the road,..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 577
I drank like you in my 20s & made it well into my 30s before it started to get ugly. I agree with neferk. in that the sooner you get off the sauce, the sooner you can start with your real life. Nobody drinks that hard for long & lives a productive, smooth life. Unless you're in a situation like Keith Richards where you have unlimited funds & people to take care of all the responsibilities of adult life for you, the negatives will start to pile up. When they do, hopefully you'll remember this place & get your sobriety going.
Y'know all of those annoying quizzes that you can give yourself to tell if "you're really an alcoholic?" Not worth too much, any pro drinker gets almost 100% on those. The one question that really hit me was...."once you start drinking, do you KNOW when you're gonna stop?" I didn't
Y'know all of those annoying quizzes that you can give yourself to tell if "you're really an alcoholic?" Not worth too much, any pro drinker gets almost 100% on those. The one question that really hit me was...."once you start drinking, do you KNOW when you're gonna stop?" I didn't
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
First of all let me say that your choice of University is 1st rate (and not just because I have multiple degrees from Madison lol). My time there was full of alcohol, and drinking seemed quite normal. Your drinking however, particularly at your age is a bit over the top.. If you cannot seem to stop after you start, then there is a world of hurt just waiting for you. You can attempt to moderate your drinking, but my bet is that this will not last long (if at all). Do yourself a big favor and decide that it's just not a good idea to start, ever. Save yourself the world trouble that many of us had to experience in the ensuing decades. Join hoofers. Have a nice time sailing lake Mendota this summer. There's a host of things to do there without alcohol. I only wish I had been able to do more during my Madison years, rather than have my life center around my drinking.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by coraltint
I drank like you in my 20s & made it well into my 30s before it started to get ugly. I agree with neferk. in that the sooner you get off the sauce, the sooner you can start with your real life. Nobody drinks that hard for long & lives a productive, smooth life. Unless you're in a situation like Keith Richards where you have unlimited funds & people to take care of all the responsibilities of adult life for you, the negatives will start to pile up. When they do, hopefully you'll remember this place & get your sobriety going.
Y'know all of those annoying quizzes that you can give yourself to tell if "you're really an alcoholic?" Not worth too much, any pro drinker gets almost 100% on those. The one question that really hit me was...."once you start drinking, do you KNOW when you're gonna stop?" I didn't
Y'know all of those annoying quizzes that you can give yourself to tell if "you're really an alcoholic?" Not worth too much, any pro drinker gets almost 100% on those. The one question that really hit me was...."once you start drinking, do you KNOW when you're gonna stop?" I didn't
Originally Posted by awuh1
First of all let me say that your choice of University is 1st rate (and not just because I have multiple degrees from Madison lol). My time there was full of alcohol, and drinking seemed quite normal. Your drinking however, particularly at your age is a bit over the top.. If you cannot seem to stop after you start, then there is a world of hurt just waiting for you. You can attempt to moderate your drinking, but my bet is that this will not last long (if at all). Do yourself a big favor and decide that it's just not a good idea to start, ever. Save yourself the world trouble that many of us had to experience in the ensuing decades. Join hoofers. Have a nice time sailing lake Mendota this summer. There's a host of things to do there without alcohol. I only wish I had been able to do more during my Madison years, rather than have my life center around my drinking.
GO Badgers! When did you graduate from UW? I do love school here but there is no denying it isn't the greatest place for someone with an alcoholic tendency. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how much longer I will be here. Mostly due to some severe depression that stems from other things, I have completely lost motivation for schoolwork. This is actually the reason my drinking got bad in the first place. I was an amazing student in HS, got to Madison last year(sophomore now) and my grades started to slip. I wasn't used to doing bad in class, hated myself for what I was becoming, picked up drinking to numb the pain. I am most likely going to take next year off and figure my life out. I have a lot of issues that need sorting out before I can put my full attention towards school again. I hope the University will allow me back, but if not I will have to find another plan. Either way, it's nice hearing from a fellow Badger. Are you from Wisconsin originally?
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR.
The seeds of my alcoholism were planted in my 20s. Didn't quit until I was 54.
If you can control it, great. If you haven't ever tried to control your drinking before, now would be a good time. If you can successfully moderate, maybe you aren't alcoholic. If you can't, time to reconsider if you are indeed an alcoholic, or at the least, developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
The seeds of my alcoholism were planted in my 20s. Didn't quit until I was 54.
Originally Posted by zman1313
Maybe I can try to get my drinking under control?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 4
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Welcome to SR.
The seeds of my alcoholism were planted in my 20s. Didn't quit until I was 54.
If you can control it, great. If you haven't ever tried to control your drinking before, now would be a good time. If you can successfully moderate, maybe you aren't alcoholic. If you can't, time to reconsider if you are indeed an alcoholic, or at the least, developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
The seeds of my alcoholism were planted in my 20s. Didn't quit until I was 54.
If you can control it, great. If you haven't ever tried to control your drinking before, now would be a good time. If you can successfully moderate, maybe you aren't alcoholic. If you can't, time to reconsider if you are indeed an alcoholic, or at the least, developing an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
Thing is, I'm still not even 21 yet so when that day comes 7 months from now, who knows what will happen. That's why I'm worried about my habits now and trying to figure out the best course of action is for me. Maybe I'll try giving it up over the summer. If I don't miss it at the end of summer, I'll just keep continuing the sober streak.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 26
Now that I look back, my drinking started in college. I commuted so it wasn't the atmosphere as much as I guess that's the time I felt real pressure and would have a glass of wine or two before bed to sleep. That has now turned into a full blown huge problem since. If you are questioning it, stop. Don't get to where I am, can't stop. It will ruin your life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 214
The book Under the Influence seems to say that alcoholics are born w/a different set of liver enzymes. It makes the effects of alcohol, including not knowing when to stop, increased tolerance, toxic thinking, happen.
I'd say by that measure, you're an alcoholic. If you quit now, it could be a relatively painless process.
Ask yourself: as time goes on, does alcohol enhance your life in a more and more positive way? Do its effects become better?
Think of alcohol as an abusive spouse. Right now, it's only slapped you around and called you names, maybe pushed you down the stairs 'by accident'. Why wait around for what happens next? are you hoping it will change? That you'll be able to figure out how to have a healthy relationship together?
Get out now.
I'd say by that measure, you're an alcoholic. If you quit now, it could be a relatively painless process.
Ask yourself: as time goes on, does alcohol enhance your life in a more and more positive way? Do its effects become better?
Think of alcohol as an abusive spouse. Right now, it's only slapped you around and called you names, maybe pushed you down the stairs 'by accident'. Why wait around for what happens next? are you hoping it will change? That you'll be able to figure out how to have a healthy relationship together?
Get out now.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 321
I'd just like to say a few things before I post some BB quotes that help me. I am 21 years old, realized I had a problem years ago, but rationalized and justified the crap out of it to enable me to keep drinking and smoking pot. I have been a member of NA for a while, after this last choice to drink went to AA and have been with it for a short time now. That being said, here are a few quotes from the online big book at aa.org/bigbookonline
"We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy" Doctors Opinion on XXViii
"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one" Doctors Opinion on XXViii
"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic EVER recovers control." More About Alcoholism, Pg. 30
"But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge" More About Alcoholism Pg. 39
I don't know what you will take out of this, if anything, but these quotes, and the chapters they came from, really helped me to realize that I needed to stop, and I needed help stopping. Most importantly, to me, and proven in my own experience time and time again, I need help to live sober. I can't say I am proud to call myself alcoholic, or that it is the greatest thing to happen to me (two things I've heard at meetings), but I can say that I am one and I am not drinking today.
"We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy" Doctors Opinion on XXViii
"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one" Doctors Opinion on XXViii
"We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic EVER recovers control." More About Alcoholism, Pg. 30
"But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge" More About Alcoholism Pg. 39
I don't know what you will take out of this, if anything, but these quotes, and the chapters they came from, really helped me to realize that I needed to stop, and I needed help stopping. Most importantly, to me, and proven in my own experience time and time again, I need help to live sober. I can't say I am proud to call myself alcoholic, or that it is the greatest thing to happen to me (two things I've heard at meetings), but I can say that I am one and I am not drinking today.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Suffice it to say I was in Madison long ago. I'll share more in a PM if you like.
Get your depression evaluated through health services at the UW. It's free (or at least it was). Self medicating a depression with alcohol is a recipe for disaster. Have it professionally treated. Also strongly consider doing regular exercise to help with it.
If you sit directly under one end of the center arch of the Rathskeller, there are times when you can hear exactly what someone is saying on the other side of it, just like they are speaking in your ear. This can happen even if the whole place is full of people, and there is all sorts of noise. The next time you are in this room remember these words. In spirit I will be on the other end of this arch. “You don't have to drink to be happy. It's the byproduct of a principled life”.
Get your depression evaluated through health services at the UW. It's free (or at least it was). Self medicating a depression with alcohol is a recipe for disaster. Have it professionally treated. Also strongly consider doing regular exercise to help with it.
If you sit directly under one end of the center arch of the Rathskeller, there are times when you can hear exactly what someone is saying on the other side of it, just like they are speaking in your ear. This can happen even if the whole place is full of people, and there is all sorts of noise. The next time you are in this room remember these words. In spirit I will be on the other end of this arch. “You don't have to drink to be happy. It's the byproduct of a principled life”.
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