fantail

So Raymond Carver is an author that I've read a lot of over time; he's known by some as the father of the contemporary short story and he's anthologized all over the place.

He had a lot of alcoholism in his life (his own and his family's) and it figures pretty centrally in his work.

Yesterday I picked up a collection of his stories and started reading, and it really was an a-ha moment.

Some of these stories I'd read recently, within the last year I'd say... and I'd say about a year ago is when I officially crossed the line from "I drink too much" to "I am an alcoholic" in my own mind. About a year ago is the first time I wrote to someone who I knew who'd quit drinking and asked her what to do.

So anyway, obviously I've quit drinking in the last couple months and that's been a revolution in my life. But I didn't really think that my thinking had changed much, just my actions.

Reading Raymond Carver last night I realized I have changed a lot more than I'd thought.

E.g. "Kindling" ... http://www.loa.org/images/pdf/Carver_Kindling.pdf
Most reviews of this book, and my initial reaction, are like "wow so hopeful about the future!" But when you read it understanding the pun on the word "kindling", it's way more complex and way more meaningful. Shivery meaningful, hopeful but also full of risk, like recovery.

And "Chef's House" ... http://www.scribd.com/doc/14587636/C...RAYMOND-CARVER
Ironically, as an active alcoholic I had no sympathy for either of these characters. At the end of the story I thought they were both pathetic, him for his problem and her for putting up with it. Reading it last night as a sober alcoholic I thought it was one of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching stories I've ever read... they way they know each other and have moved past blame or fighting into this sad understanding of the tragedy that they're caught in. (Warning... this one involves an alcoholic who doesn't/can't get better, so don't read if you're feeling sensitive).



It was interesting to realize that getting sober has given me a lot more compassion towards alcoholics. And also a very different understanding of my own illness or whatever one wants to call it.

Vastreaction

Such a great writer. Thanks for sharing this, brought back memories from my community college creative writing days. Writing is something I've wanted to get back into for years now, but I was always too drunk to motivate myself.

I'm almost positive I read Kindling when I was 18 or 19... While it was good, I didn't really understand it. I'm going to re-read it now, and probably be amazed. Thank you again.

regeneration

I love this poem that was published after his death about himself. It's such a thankful poem to a good sober life written by someone who was dying, makes me want to cry but in happy way:

Gravy by Raymond Carver

I'm sure it was found amongst his things by his wife after his death but I can't find the story to back that up now.... maybe I fondly imagined that bit

And thanks for posting the links to his stories, I'll read those.

Acheleus

Carver was a strong person and a strong writer. I read the collection Where I'm Calling From years ago. I read in an article he was drunk and hit his wife over the head with a champagne bottle. I'm hoping my writing will improve with my sobriety. John Cheever was also a great writer who got sober. He taught at Iowa with Carver.

Groucho

Have you read his poem "Nyquil"? That one always hit me right where I live, especially that final line.

fantail

Thanks for the poem recommendations! I've only ever read his stories, not his poetry. But now I'm digging into his stories with a different level of attention.

It's interesting because plenty of writers are/were alcoholics. But I guess before quitting I didn't realize that of course someone who'd been a drunk and then quit would have much more to say about it than someone still actively drinking. I think I need to seek out more work by people who've quit, if anyone has any recommendations I'd love to hear them.