weak
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Forest Hills, NY
Posts: 83
weak
Well. I'm drinking. I work late ONE DAY on Thursday and apparently I'm cheating, according to my husband STILL.
Not gonna lie. Today was so beautiful, and everyone was out, and I contacted my sober friends and told them I was jonesing for booze. But after the talk with my husband? When he told me that he KNOWS that I was late by 45 minutes because I was cheating?
Look: I want sobriety for my marriage and my son. My marriage is a mess. I don't want it for me.
We separated for four months and during that time I had a boyfriend. I had no relationship before or after my marriage bump.
I don't want to stay sober for this guy. He gives me no pleasure. He gives me grief.
Anyway I blame no one but me for the record.
Not gonna lie. Today was so beautiful, and everyone was out, and I contacted my sober friends and told them I was jonesing for booze. But after the talk with my husband? When he told me that he KNOWS that I was late by 45 minutes because I was cheating?
Look: I want sobriety for my marriage and my son. My marriage is a mess. I don't want it for me.
We separated for four months and during that time I had a boyfriend. I had no relationship before or after my marriage bump.
I don't want to stay sober for this guy. He gives me no pleasure. He gives me grief.
Anyway I blame no one but me for the record.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Trouble in a relationship with a significant other is a painful enough dilemma all on its own. Mixed with drinking in hopes of feeling some relief is a horrible place to be for sure.
I'm unsure staying sober for anyone ahead of ourselves works out well, certainly never did for me. It was tough enough staying sober for myself, let alone others. We're all different of course with our own personal reasons for drinking or not drinking. I know for myself, I really needed my own reasons for not drinking for me to successfully never drink again. The strength to discover for myself what reasons I had, and still have, for not drinking, were always found within myself. My circumstances and other people are of course truly important, but for me anyways, if I didn't have my own back on not drinking, I'd sooner or later return to drinking.
I hope you can find within yourself your own purposes for not drinking, even when hurting really badly. I hope you have a better day soon again, and can put this recent drinking behind you.
I'm unsure staying sober for anyone ahead of ourselves works out well, certainly never did for me. It was tough enough staying sober for myself, let alone others. We're all different of course with our own personal reasons for drinking or not drinking. I know for myself, I really needed my own reasons for not drinking for me to successfully never drink again. The strength to discover for myself what reasons I had, and still have, for not drinking, were always found within myself. My circumstances and other people are of course truly important, but for me anyways, if I didn't have my own back on not drinking, I'd sooner or later return to drinking.
I hope you can find within yourself your own purposes for not drinking, even when hurting really badly. I hope you have a better day soon again, and can put this recent drinking behind you.
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