MeFree

Would be so easy to call one of my old drinking friends and "get together". Cuz as you know....they are always up for it! I feel my world has become so small....some days it is a blessing because my great big alcoholic world was chaotic, regretful and destructive. But there are days...and God knows this is one of them, when the isolation I feel , seems so much bigger than all of that...this is one of those days I am not temtped to drink necessarily, but trying to remember why I stopped. The sober , healthy me knows that it is Friday night, and I will wake up in the morning and be ok. But it can make for ONE LONG NIGHT

Verny

Hi there I hear you I am pretty new to this sober life, and I felt the same this Friday night. I told my husband I feel like I used alcohol to escape reality for a awhile or it was my reward for working all week. I got out of the house and got my mind off of myself and stop thinking about how I feel. I know that for that very short period of drinking gives me much misery and that is what is keeping me sober but I won't lie it is a adjustment. I am looking forward to gaining some more energy and putting that towards new projects or hobbies that will give me true fulfillment. (Horseback riding, gardening, cooking.) best of luck to you and everyone to find ourselves again.

MeFree

Thank you for your reply, and so very happy you are finding your way in sobriety. I will never regret taking this road, but I lost my marriage to this monster, my kids are grown and I live alone, it is a daily decision that a life alone , sober, is so so so much better than a life spent drunk. I do identify with the reasons you think you drank. Stay strong on this road, it is worth every step!!!

AA didn't teach me how to live with my drinking, but how to live with my sobriety.

bigsombrero

Thanks for sharing, I understand your feelings. I live alone also and have been sober close to 10 months now. One of the things that helps me is that I try not to give certain days of the week more reverence than others anymore - that means "Friday Night" doesn't get rock star status anymore in my book. That said, I still do experience the 'loneliness factor' because I simply can't get together with old friends during evening hours anymore. There's no way around it, just not gonna happen.

But I see these lonely hours in my first year of recovery as a good chance to get to spend time with a new close friend......me! The guy I see in the mirror is 30lbs lighter, has better skin, and is quite a reliable and nice person. He's got a lot of new ideas and a pretty optimistic personality, he likes to learn, read, and exercise. Give yourself some time to get to know your 'new self', so that when you're ready to meet new friends and socialize, you'll be aware of all your wonderful new qualities.

Have a good evening.

MeFree

WOW! Thank you. Somehow that slapped my restless little brain right down. Reminded me of how patience is such a very big part of this process. Have a good evening as well.

AA didn't teach me how to live with my drinking, but how to live with my sobriety.

ivegotsunshine

Loneliness is something that comes and goes for me. It usually sneaks up on me and smacks me in the face when I least expect it. I think I'm doing good then all of a sudden I'm borderline manic and ready to ask for a divorce. While I know it's time for some Prozac, so much of it is feeling that void of time that was once reserved for drinking with, we'll, with anyone! Or no one! But like sombrero mentioned, it is so great to get to know yourself. I feel like I am re claiming my youth some days. I go out for coffee or ice cream, hike mountains, snow shoe, go running, do yoga, read, allow mysf to get sucked into. Juicy tv series.... There is so much out there. The loneliness will find you now Nd the , but tell it to go screw. You've got other things to do. Oh and btw, sombrero usually has really good advice

MIRecovery

Forming a social network of sober people is just one of the benefits of AA. You meet a ton of people just like you that are rebuilding their lives. I could likely do some fun thing every night of the week with my friends in AA if I wanted to.

gmanriley

I feel like the boredom will consume me and the loneliness is depressing.

gmanriley

I'm movin on../

ivegotsunshine

Where you going?

gmanriley

That was intended for MIrecovery's lyrics..."I'm movin on" is a song by Rascal Flatts.

LonerMan

"If you're bored, you're boring."

Gripes, people, go out and find some good, clean fun. No sense sitting around and feeling sorry for yourselves.

Acheleus

Yea aloneness and loneliness are two different things. I live alone after losing my girl to the demon and I have to relearn to like me and see my positive qualities. I only have 14 days but I know I am losing weight and taking better care of my self. Even though I get sad or tired I just flow with the emotions and learn to feel them without wanting to drink them away. It's tough on a Friday night but remember you won't wake up in jail or on your floor trying to recall how you got home. We have to learn to see through the alcohol, flow with the enemy. Drinking is just a waste of time.

gmanriley

I didn't come here for any A-hole comments...Lonerman
If you choose to be a dry drunk with a bad attitude, don't post any crap.

visch1

Hi. I am not a social person and had to immerse myself in AA for my recovery, that way I wasn't lonely. As stated above there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Today I'm comfortable in my own skin and have choices. After many years I still need the fellowship more some days than others, just part of my ism. BE WELL

MeFree

Thanks for the replies & encouragement. Made it through lastnight, looking back I think one thing set me off. Tues night, I ran into an old boyfriend who I haven't seen since I got sober. He expressed alot of interest in seeing me again and has been texting me throughout the week. I haven't responded because I know that is dangerous ground for me, but think it scared me because I realized how good it made me feel to think someone wanted to be with me. I didn't realize how shot my self esteem was till now. But, spent some time on the lake with family , then went to dinner with a friend from AA, then we went to a meeting together. I feel better. Guess it all goes back to day 1 of sobriety....when those painful, difficult or lonely moments come, I keep reminding myself...."JUST DON'T DRINK!" Hope you all enjoy the rest of your weekend.

HML

Since we are twins today, I thought I would post a late reply. When I come home from work, and my kids are doing homework, and dinner isn't started -- and then again after dinner -- I just don't f-ing know what TO DO with myself. It is a bit maddening. I've just filled those down times with that warm high for so long. It felt like giving myself a big hug after a long day. Without it, I'm bored and lonely as you say -- even with my family around. And of course rationally, I know all about the benefits of exercise, reading, listening to music, finding a hobby. But right now I just feel like I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not drinking. It's going to be a long Day 8.

doggonecarl

Recovery is more than filling your empty hours. It's filling the holes in our souls we filled with booze.

Determine what you value (really value) and establish goals that align with those values. You'll discover there isn't enough time in the day to do everything.

For the first couple of weeks, sobriety was what I valued. I did EVERYTHING I could to support that. And I didn't drink. No matter what.

Good luck.

sable1

I' ve thought like that many times. I was never super social when I drank, but I still fel like not drinking at my age closed many social doors. I don' really have to remind myself about why I stopped though... I have a very small social Life and often feel lonely, but I keep reminding myself that drinking never fixed my problems, they were Always there the Day after along with New ones. One friend that I made who has been sober for about 10 years has a pretty Big social Life. He just does things sober with these friends, and when he is invited to dinner or something he just leaves earlier, when other people are starting to get drunk. I Think that if you want a bigger social Life then you can have it, sober or not, but it wont be the party Lifestyle, it just have to be different activities and maybe New friends all together.

gmanriley

I went for a bike ride yesterday and it helps tremendously.
It's all about distracting our monkey brains from destructive thoughts and actions. Exercise, it can be just a walk around th block, or maybe just do some stretching. Get a jigsaw puzzle or maybe a model airplane. It's a daily battle, but we will be victorious. Be strong my twin.