GhostFace

In the beginning of the new year, i made myself a promised that i will leave the alcohol alone. That lasted for a total of 18 days and i got tempted to a drink by an old girlfriend i had come over. Sex and alcohol always mixed with me so i told myself "a few drink is not bad". Fast forward to 2 months and im back to my same old habits, drinking ounces of Black Label at the bar and beers everyday after work. I had no motive to change until last week.

I had to attend a IDRC class in order to get my license back. So of course im hung over from the night before with 2 hours of sleep attending a class about drinking. Usually im miserable and crampy when im hung over but that day, i was alert and focus on this class. Maybe because it cost me $230! This was on a Saturday and the course was for 2 days.

Sunday morning i attend my second class, im hunged over but not as bad as Saturday. During that class, i felt like the counselor was talking directly to me. I drink more than everyone i know, i need more drinks than others to feel nice, every example he mentioned was like he was talking about me. That really opened my eyes. I met all the criteria of being a alcoholic.

What really had me was when 2 people from AA came and gave their story. Im sitting down staring at what could possibly be me if i continue down the road im currently on. These 2 individual were hard core drinkers and drug addicts. They managed to get their life together and don't consume any type of alcohol.

My favorite story was about the counselor who was a working with juveniles and inmates before he took this job. He knew a truck driver who was introduced to coke by a friend. His friend told him that the coke will keep him awake during the long drives on the road. The truck driver was hook and kept buying more coke to keep up and was able to function with minimum sleep. After a while, the truck driver could not sleep so his friend gave him heroin for him to take at night. So the truck driver did coke in the morning and heroin in the afternoon. He did this for months and soon got hook to the drugs. He was spending over $500 a week to keep up with his habits. The driver's company ended up doing a random drug test and he lost his job.

Now the truck driver has no job, is hooked on drugs and has a wife and kids to feed. His wife finds out about his drug habits and she asked him to move out so the driver moves into his mother's house. Not having money to support his habit, he starts stealing from his mother. Mom finds out and she kicks him out as well. Now this guy is homeless with a drug problem and no where to go.

Months pass and his wife agrees that she is willing to get back together aslong as he seeks help and comes clean for the sake of the kid. The truck driver agrees and in 12 months he's clean. Now all of a suden the wife wants to file for divorce and does not want to be with this man. He starts cursing at everyone in the rehab program. A few minutes later he got himself together and told his wife "f that, im going to get clean for myself". In 24 months he completed his re hab program and was ready to come back into society.

As a clean man he was now able to work for an airport carrying luggage. He's making good money with tips and a good salary. The driver also starts volunteering helping juveniles and soon becomes a probation officer. He then lands a job counseling for inmates and soon becomes a spokes man for IDRC.
His wife took him back and he has been sober for over 20 years.

All this time the counselor was telling a story about himself. He no longer drinks or uses drugs. Why can't i do that? And this guy was real happy and full of energy. This was the moment that i knew i had to change. God told me something that day. I left that class inspired and motivated, one of the best $230 i ever spent.

So that's why im back here. I have 4 straight days without drinking and im itching by the hour for a glass of black label straight on the rocks

Im a real shy person and i had resulted into alcohol to brake my shyness. The alcohol made me social but now i have to stop it for good.

Thanks for reading

wiscsober

Welcome back...I hope you get well.

No one can make me or tempt me to drink...no one caused me to drink...it is all my responsibility to actively work treating my alcoholism.

I am sure you will be able to help others also.

Best to you!

smileyblue

Good for you! Sounds like $230 well spent

grateful850

Thanks for sharing that story ghostface, I feel motivated after reading it lately I feel like I have been staying sober for other people but this reminds me that I got sober for me.

Johno1967

Awesome story.

Thanks for sharing it. Timely reminder that we often find the hand that pulls us out of the pit in the most unlikely places. A sudden and over powering spiritual experience or a random meeting of someone with a story to tell, both produce miracles and the miracle is the change that happens to us over the coming weeks , months and years.

Change4good

Hold on to the memory of that story, and how you felt when you heard it. You could feel like that man, sober and full of energy.

Tamerua

Hi Ghost! So what is the plan to stay quit? For me, I am really shy as well and I did well with meetings, but there is Rational Recovery and a couple other programs to help you get trough.

GhostFace

That's a good question. My plan for now is just reading and exercising. Im a little shaky about the AA stuff. No offense to anybody who goes to these meets but i do not like the idea that im powerless over my drinking and i need to surrender my will to a higher power. I believe in God and i know that i cant drink moderately so the best thing for me is to leave the drinking alone completely.

I plan to just take it one day at a time. All i have is 24 hours and will live in the present. I will use this forum as my support/sponsor so get used to me

What do you guys do to keep sober?

sugarbear1

When you go out to drink, maybe to have just one, do you know how much you will drink by the end of that night?

I only wanted one drink. I never stopped at one. That was my powerlessness.

Thanks for the story!

GhostFace

That never worked out for me. I'll say to myself "I'm only having one drink".
Next thing you know i drank so much that i lost count. I'll wake up the next evening stuck in bed not able to eat, just sleep until the night comes and i do it all over again.

Received

Ghost have you looked at our secular forum here at SR. There are many paths to sobriety and you may find something that fits for you there. SMART, Rational Recovery/AVRT, LifeRing...

I personally stopped drinking for good using RR/AVRT technique. This only addressed quitting drinking for good. It makes no other claims. I see a therapist and of course, post here.

After 13 years without a drink I relapsed and drank for 5 more years until the night I found this site. It is here I learned that AA wasn't the only game in town and Rational Recovery/AVRT ended up being exactly what I needed.

Anyway, here is the link to secular connections. There you will find information on alternative methods.

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Johno1967

No one likes to admit they are powerless over alcohol. Another way of saying it is "I'm an alcoholic". If you don't like the sound of the word "powerless" just say I no longer deny my alcoholism. The word "surrender" is also another one some people have a problem with. Instead of saying "I surrender to a Higher Power", why not try "I accept that I'm not in charge of this game and I hand over my problem to whatever power greater than my own ego I can accept". The two steps are meant to remove any delusions that you have your drinking under control and become humble enough to admit that alone you cannot do it, that a strength from deep inside is needed to carry you through. Don't over rationalize, just keep an open mind. The 12 steps is a spiritual path, you decide what works and what doesn't. People can make suggestions, no one can tell you how to do it. That's the way I started it and since I started my concept of "Higher Power" and powerlessness has evolved and changed. From what I've read there can be a fine line between AA and more "secular" methods when you actually consider that the ultimate goal of both is to get us to change our thinking and not pick up the first drink.
On a final note. Controlled drinking is another option. Not sure if you have tried it. I have and it never worked for me. Best.