bigsombrero

Hi all -

My favorite time of day is when I first get up in the morning. I am genuinely excited to be up at 6am, awake and alert. I put on a pot of coffee, turn on national public radio, check the weather, watch the sun come up and plan my day. It's a great jump-start and then I'm usually occupied and busy for the rest of the day. But after dinner, around 7pm I am home, settling down....and that's when I get this "restless" feeling. I put on a movie but often feel too restless to be engaged. Same thing with a ballgame - I put it on the TV but find myself running to the kitchen every 5 minutes to put on some tea or make some popcorn or smoke a cigarette. The time seems to slow down...those last 4 hours of the day seem to take so long. During my drinking spiral I was drinking in the mornings and afternoons, so it's not like Happy Hour sets me off or triggers cravings. It's more of a nagging, dragging feeling. Like I wish it was 11pm already so I could just go to bed and start the happy mornings over again!

Has anyone else noticed this is their "tough time"? What do you guys do to pass the time during these hours? What solves this discontent for you?

I am approaching 10 months sober. I am also starting a new job on May 1 so I imagine things will change in a week or so, but I would like to get some tidbits of information so I can get some tools to manage my behavior now and in the future. THX!

LonerMan

The new job will definitely take care of having too much energy.

My worst time of the week is Sunday night. I think it's because of dreading Monday morning. My favorite time is Monday afternoon because I know everything is going to be same old thing.

Tippingpoint

That restlessness abates with time. I now find myself completely at peace with my circumstance regardless of the time of day or the day of the week.

I do whatever strikes my fancy - sports, a movie, photography...

Pondlady

Wow! This hits home with me. I hit 10 months yesterday and have been agitated , unable to relax, in the evenings......even had me thinking about wine....wasn't going to drink....but just thought about it. I think for me it has something to do with the longer days and not knowing what to do with myself in the evenings.

I've been getting back to basics, what worked for me when I quit last summer.....walking and gardening.....even an evening errand. Hope this helps you....I know it helps me to know someone else is going through the same thing

Readysteady

I can definitely relate to that! You're not drinking anymore and that's great! What I'm getting at is, do you think it's cause you were used to having a buzz in the later hours? The whole day I don't need a drink at all. But when the night comes I get restless and having a few drinks has been the way I've been capping off my night for many years. Actually I'll start a new thread about it. Hope you overcome the night time restlessness.

bigsombrero

No, as I mentioned in the post I would start drinking in the mornings. 7pm never signified a "start time" for me.

bigsombrero

Cool, yeah we are on the same timeline and that definitely helps me when you share that info. Evening errands, yes I should try that more often! Next time I go to the grocery store or something I'll go later, I imagine that would be a good step. Thanks!

Readysteady

Ok, I read it again, thanks.

Caldus

Hi bigsombrero, I'm also in the Chicago area. I'm active in the AA community here. Anyway, I totally get what you're talking about. That restless feeling in the evenings. I'm the same way in the mornings now. Happy to be sober and ready to pour that cup of coffee. But in the evenings I sometimes have to go through several glasses of cranberry juice and eat popcorn. I get what you're talking about. I think for me it just boils down to what AA calls "restless, irritable, and discontent". It's my alcoholism in full motion. The only thing missing is the actual drink itself. What helps me is attending AA meetings, calling other people from the meetings, calling my sponsor, doing the steps, and doing service work. All of these contribute to my new life centered around spiritual principles and will help with all of that restlessness I feel everyday (and what you're describing).

Nevertheless

Sounds like you need a hobby.
Myself,I mess with radio control airplanes. Reloading Ammo/casting bullets. The yard now that it's spring time. Bicycle riding. Tropical fish. Parrot.Coin collecting.
If I'm not doing something,it's because I am to tired to do anything else.
Taking a look at this,I have way too dang many hobbies myself.
Fred

flutter

I lived in the gym during the first few months of evenings.. it really helped to get out of the house and exert myself physically. I went to a lot of movies too.

doggonecarl

I like that you identified the issue as discontent, or restlessness, rather than boredom. I think a lot of recovering alcoholics confuse the two.

If you have a lot of pent up restlessness, the gym, like flutter suggested, or even a walk or bike ride (now that the sun is up later) is an option. Some sort of physical outlet. I have six dogs. Walking them takes a big chunk of my evening up.

And as others as suggested, if the hours drag, you need to find something, a hobby or interest, that really grabs your interest. I journal and do my letter writing in the evening.

Lastly, if you are just waiting for bedtime, go to bed. Don't force yourself to stay up till eleven if you find it tedious to do so.

Good luck on the new job.

visch1

It's been said that being alone is being with our worst enemy. My ism wants me to isolate and make excuses not to go to an AA meeting where I ALWAYS feel better with people who understand me. I also believe that getting involved is so helpful for recovery. Hang on and BE WELL.

bigsombrero

Thank you Carl, and I appreciate your suggestions and understanding. I am well aware it's my addictive behavior that's restless, and despite having a successful run at sobriety thusfar I have a healthy respect for the severity of my condition. I want to gather suggestions to put in my toolbox and yours fits nicely with the others. Hope all's well with you too and thanks again!