Another Day at a Time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
Another Day at a Time
I know I'm not the only one here who's been through it...AGAIN. But I am now, once again, at almost 48 hours without a drink. After a very long binge, I am sober again.
I need this. I need to clean up. I am good at hiding it. I've kept my business open and (mostly) successful. My family doesn't really know, they just think I have been "tired" from all my hard work. Which is actually true. I'm just more tired because I have had lots drink every day.
Deep down, I know I've got a long, hard road ahead. I feel like hell today. I slept terribly last night. But, I am shooting for a day at a time.
No one knows how bad I was. Hell, I don't even know how bad I was. I can't believe I have kept it together this long.
Sorry for the rambling message. Looking forward to day three.
I need this. I need to clean up. I am good at hiding it. I've kept my business open and (mostly) successful. My family doesn't really know, they just think I have been "tired" from all my hard work. Which is actually true. I'm just more tired because I have had lots drink every day.
Deep down, I know I've got a long, hard road ahead. I feel like hell today. I slept terribly last night. But, I am shooting for a day at a time.
No one knows how bad I was. Hell, I don't even know how bad I was. I can't believe I have kept it together this long.
Sorry for the rambling message. Looking forward to day three.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Snead. That wasn't a rambling post - I sure have been there many times. Glad you've made it 2 days - you should start feeling better soon, and you never have to go back to hell again.
Glad to see you giving this another try.
Glad to see you giving this another try.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Snead,
Are you working any particular program? AA, AVRT, other? Have you gone through any type of rehab, or medically supervised detox? I am just curious how you are going to keep free from the alcohol when the cravings come back, or the thoughts of having a drink? Many people do it on their own, and I hope you may be one of them.
I am 59 years old and drank for 40 years. I kept my business going until the economy crashed, then was able to go to work with a group I had done management work for while I was in business. I thought everyone was unaware of how much I was drinking, but they just excused my behavior because I was able to maintain very well, and I did follow through with my obligations.
Then when my addiction turned worse, I realized everyone knew all along there was something wrong with RDB. I could have saved myself a lot of bad consequences if I had taken my addiction more seriously when I had the chance. Sounds very similar to where you may be now.
Anyway, I am curious how you plan on getting the drinking 'under control', or getting completely sober for GOOD. This website has some great resources and a lot of people that have been through the worst of addiction, and now are the best they have been in their lives after getting FREE.
Are you working any particular program? AA, AVRT, other? Have you gone through any type of rehab, or medically supervised detox? I am just curious how you are going to keep free from the alcohol when the cravings come back, or the thoughts of having a drink? Many people do it on their own, and I hope you may be one of them.
I am 59 years old and drank for 40 years. I kept my business going until the economy crashed, then was able to go to work with a group I had done management work for while I was in business. I thought everyone was unaware of how much I was drinking, but they just excused my behavior because I was able to maintain very well, and I did follow through with my obligations.
Then when my addiction turned worse, I realized everyone knew all along there was something wrong with RDB. I could have saved myself a lot of bad consequences if I had taken my addiction more seriously when I had the chance. Sounds very similar to where you may be now.
Anyway, I am curious how you plan on getting the drinking 'under control', or getting completely sober for GOOD. This website has some great resources and a lot of people that have been through the worst of addiction, and now are the best they have been in their lives after getting FREE.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
Day 3.
Good questions. My plan is not to get the drinking under control. It is to be done with it for good. I've tried to keep it under control, and every time, it comes back faster and stronger than before. Clearly, I don't have the ability to keep it under control. I've learned that more than once.
Last night was very unpleasant, but today, other than being tired, I feel remarkably good. I just have to keep myself busy between about 3 and 6. Fortunately, that will be easy today, since I agreed to be a substitute coach for my kid's team and practice ends at 7. Once I get past 6, I should be in a safer zone. It's like my liver has a clock on it.
Good questions. My plan is not to get the drinking under control. It is to be done with it for good. I've tried to keep it under control, and every time, it comes back faster and stronger than before. Clearly, I don't have the ability to keep it under control. I've learned that more than once.
Last night was very unpleasant, but today, other than being tired, I feel remarkably good. I just have to keep myself busy between about 3 and 6. Fortunately, that will be easy today, since I agreed to be a substitute coach for my kid's team and practice ends at 7. Once I get past 6, I should be in a safer zone. It's like my liver has a clock on it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
Snead,
hay great job for hitting day 3!. i tried many times and i hit day 3 or 4 or 5 i was back drinking. but after a whole weekend of binging i said enough was enough. i made the biggest effort to stop and i am on week 22 + 1 day. i was a closet and functional alcoholic in life. but sounds like you have a plan, keep at it.
hay great job for hitting day 3!. i tried many times and i hit day 3 or 4 or 5 i was back drinking. but after a whole weekend of binging i said enough was enough. i made the biggest effort to stop and i am on week 22 + 1 day. i was a closet and functional alcoholic in life. but sounds like you have a plan, keep at it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
YET waiting for me
Originally Posted by Snead 
Deep down, I know I've got a long, hard road ahead. I feel like hell today. I slept terribly last night. But, I am shooting for a day at a time.
No one knows how bad I was. Hell, I don't even know how bad I was. I can't believe I have kept it together this long.
nice that you are back on the sober road
possibly they would call us high bottom drunks ?
because we kept our jobs and many other things in our lives
but at least for me it was not easy at times
I thank God that I'm sober today and did not lose everything
but as they say in AA --- YET
it may be just another YET waiting for me if I return to the drink
I have seen many go back out again only to lose it all
in a few cases they even lose their lives
the first couple of days without a drink can be rough
but is we hang in there it get's so much better very soon
onehigherpower
possibly they would call us high bottom drunks ?
because we kept our jobs and many other things in our lives
but at least for me it was not easy at times
I thank God that I'm sober today and did not lose everything
but as they say in AA --- YET
it may be just another YET waiting for me if I return to the drink
I have seen many go back out again only to lose it all
in a few cases they even lose their lives
the first couple of days without a drink can be rough
but is we hang in there it get's so much better very soon
onehigherpower
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
Day 3 turned out to be more of a challenge than planned, but made it through. Friends just opened a restaurant and we had to go to the opening. I almost said I was sick, but decided to go and check it out. Used my 30 days of fitness story to choose a root beer. It actually wasn't bad, and it was really nice to be able to offer to be a designated drive. First time in a VERY long time. Day 4 and 5 (Saturday and Sunday) were really busy, so that worked until meal time, when the habit urge hit my brain. Both evenings, i went out and took the dogs on a long walk right at that time. That seemed to help.
As for physical symptoms: My skin is really funky, almost like a rash and very dry. Last two days I consumed over a gallon of water each day. I am really craving liquid, and my sweet tooth has come back with a vengeance. Assuming I can make it for 3 more days, I have a trip into the woods planned over a 4 day weekend. That will be a great thing, because there will be no drink available, so I can't even consider having one.
As for physical symptoms: My skin is really funky, almost like a rash and very dry. Last two days I consumed over a gallon of water each day. I am really craving liquid, and my sweet tooth has come back with a vengeance. Assuming I can make it for 3 more days, I have a trip into the woods planned over a 4 day weekend. That will be a great thing, because there will be no drink available, so I can't even consider having one.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
Sounds like you are doing great Snead. Your body may be craving water because it is trying to flush all the toxins from your system from so long drinking. Ice cream, now frozen yogurt, was/is my sweet go to food as I still have those moments....pretty normal for early sobriety I understand! Let us know how you are doing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 11
Back to day one.
I was on day 7. Last night I was helping a neighbor pull an engine from a project car. We got it out and on the stand and he offered a beer in thanks. We don't know each other terribly well (we just learned recently that we are both gear heads).
Like an idiot, I said sure, I'd love one, instead of saying no thanks and heading home. One turned into more than one. ARRGH.
Sadly, I can't even say I enjoyed it. I felt guilty from the first sip. Then I rationalized as..."Well, I blew it, might as well go for it now!"
Heading to the woods tomorrow for 4 days. No opportunity to drink, just time in the peace and quiet.
Back to day one.
I was on day 7. Last night I was helping a neighbor pull an engine from a project car. We got it out and on the stand and he offered a beer in thanks. We don't know each other terribly well (we just learned recently that we are both gear heads).
Like an idiot, I said sure, I'd love one, instead of saying no thanks and heading home. One turned into more than one. ARRGH.
Sadly, I can't even say I enjoyed it. I felt guilty from the first sip. Then I rationalized as..."Well, I blew it, might as well go for it now!"
Heading to the woods tomorrow for 4 days. No opportunity to drink, just time in the peace and quiet.
Back to day one.
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