Fletch

Well I came to the realization I need to quit drinking. I have tried before but have fallen back into it. I can't get over the things I have done while drinking, oportunitys missed, life wasted. My conscience is killing me and Im super depressed. Im pretty scared to go out and face people who have seen me drunk. I really can't see any fun or a life in my future. I have been eating alot of fastfood which will make me gain weight--which I hate, but it's the only thing that gives me alittle joy. I hope I can make it.

Rudiger

Hey Fletch,

I am an alcoholic and I know just what you are going through. You sound like you are in a pretty dark place in your head right now. I wish you a quick turnaround.

I remember when I was at the end of my drinking career. All the regret and hopelessness seemed like it was just too overwhelming. I know that it seems easy for me to say, but I KNOW that you can put all the things that you were while drinking behind you and start a new life for yourself today. Patience at first, along with a firm resolve to quit doing what you know is the cause of your pain and depression. Hell, you know it won't be easy at first. But you are not alone. Soon, with the rest of us, you will be free of all these wieghts and pressures that our alocoholism has put on us. Start by compartmentalizing your day into smaller blocks of time. Before you know it, you too will be living freely one day at a time.

As your body and mind become more and more clear I KNOW that you will have a perspective change that will make the tough times you are going through now in early recovery well worth the wait. Just don't give up too soon man. You may not be able to see all the possibilities now. But just take my word (and the words of others on this site) that you will open your mind and life to a whole new world of options and hope very soon if you break the cycle of drinking. The lie of the bottle tells us all when we first quit that the solution to our problem is in the bottle. The truth is that the bottle is what's keeping us from seeing the solution.

I'll be thinking of you. Stay strong and remember hope is here today even if you can't see it right this moment.

Rudiger

Ninerfan

Fletch, everyone of us who has gotten sober has been where you are at. But it can be done and it can be better than you imagined. I got sober in the company of others because it was easier for me, and more enjoyable. You don't know what you are capable of until you try. And you don't have to do it alone. Keep Comin Back...

Justme57

Hi Fletch, and welcome to SR!

You have found a great place to hang , and you will make many like minded friends here.

I know exactly how you are feeling , in the last days of my drinking , I was in that dark place , drinking alone , and cught in the vicious cycle of not being able to stop, it is dreadful isn't it ? I was filled with self loathng , and sooo depressed because of my inability to stop, I thought it was a weakness in me, til I found out, at an AA meeting , that it is a disease, and the only treatment is not to pick up that first drink under any circumstances .

I was physically helped by the AA people , until I could help myself . But there are many recovery programmes , and it is a matter of finding the one which suits you .

I drank for 37 years, and now have 6 1/2 months sober , if I can do it , you sure can

Keep coming back

HUGX
Lee

JaySee

Hi Fletch

I can relate to all feelings you have at the moment. When I was drinking, and especially during the hangovers, these feelings would really push me into a corner.

You've made a great decision realizing that the drinking is causing you problems and you want to do something about it. Fantastic.!!

Hang around and keep posting/reading .... there is a lot of help here, and it helps me everyday.

Much love

JC

Dan

Hey Fletch, I'm an addict named Dan. Alcohol was one of my favorite playmates for a long time. Oh the things I said and did... Once I arrived in recovery, completely broken down from the drink and drugs, I stewed for a long time about my past behavior. Even today, some memories can come back and bite me in the worst way. But with the help of my counselor in rehab (not that long ago), a program for recovery (AA and NA for me), and the simple desire for a better life, I am learning to accept what has come to pass and have started the healing process that will one day allow me to make proper ammends to those I have hurt and embarrassed. For now though, it's all about me! Taking care of number one may sound selfish, but it's the only way to heal. The substances I abused for so long are only a symptom of a much greater turmoil. Recovery from addiction and the return to a life of sobriety is the hardest thing I have ever done. Also happens to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I wish you the same my friend.

ted

WELCOME FLETCH,I'M TED ALKIE/DRUGIE
TIME FOR SOME HEALING FRIEND.
REMEMBER THE LAST DARK DAY AND JUST KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THERE TODAY!
THERE IS HOPE!GREAT SUPPORT HERE AS YOU JOURNEY DOWN THE ROAD TO BRIGHTER DAYS.
HANG AROUND,GET WELL.

mackat

Fletch
mack-Addict whose DOC was alcohol.
End time of my using was like looking down the telescope from the wrong end. I could see no color- just dark shades of gray-going-to-black
I do NA/AA- thats where i learned to deal with the right-now of my disease. Don't use today. Work on my recovery today. The folks w/ time said that if i did that, the future would take care of itself and that my past would no longer haunt me. Turns out they were right.
asking for help is the neccessary beginning of doing recovery- go for it!
mackat

Imgettingbetter

Hey Fletch

I'm RD and I'm an alcoholic too. I can soooo relate to where you're at right now. When I finally asked for help I couldn't face anybody. I just wanted to crawl into a big hole and give up. But I DID ask for help anyway. I found some other alcoholics who also suffered from depression and had made all the same mistakes I had made. With their help, I've got 8 months going today. Where you're at today is only temporary. Forget about the past and grab hold of the future. Take it from this old drunk, you can have happiness. Get some help if you need it. Just know that not drinking gets easier.

RD

Kathi

Hi Fletch -

Welcome to SR

I am 65 days sober and I wish I'm trying to send some peace your way. I have learned some important things along the way so far:

1. Meetings are crucial! They make you feel so good and comforted and not alone. I have not been to one meeting yet that I have not been able to take some message or comfort home with me. I always walk away feeling that someone cares about me.

2. It truly is one day at a time - or as the need may be, one minute or one hour at a time.

3. You're biggest concern is helping yourself and not worrying what other's thing. When push comes to shove, the person you need to take care of the most in this world is yourself.

4. Did I mention that meetings are important?

I know depression is very hard. I have been on anti depressants for about 12 years now and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them. Even though I have been through alot of therapy and have gone a long way I still need them and it's okay.

I hope you find some peace of mind today and really do think about going to a meeting and reaching out. You have made the first step by coming here.

Kathi