Rapture

Hello everyone,

I found this site on Google because I am desperate to get my feelings out, and I'm currently petrified of the doctors

I know this is mainly an American/Canadian (what I gather) based site, I am from the UK

I have been an alcoholic now for about 3 years. I'm 22, and currently unemployed.

I lost my last job as I tried to overdose while drinking and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks (so they let me go, was only a temporary contract). This was 2 months ago. While in hospital I did not drink, and while it was horrible, by the end I wasn't craving or having any major withdrawals anymore

I got out, and was fine for a couple of weeks before I hit the bottle again. It has been that way for 2 months now and I am heavily in debt because of it.

I also suffer from depression and am on anti-depressants (because of my failed suicide) and I just don't know where to go from here.

I find it hard to pluck up the courage to speak to my doctor about it. My family and partner knows but I'm not sure they fully understand (many ''pull yourself together'' kinda speeches).

I don't know what I expect out of this but I just thought I'd share my story. I do really really want to get off of the drink but I am also always so desperate for any kind of buzz.

Thanks guys for reading

Sasha4

Welcome there are quite a few of us from the UK here, me included.

It sounds like maybe you need to concentrate on you getting better and stronger before you seek employment.
I think it is hard for family to understand depression and alcoholism when they do not suffer themselves.
Its often just not as simple as 'do not drink'.

I joined SR a few years ago.
I have 420 days sober.
I come to SR everyday. It feels a bit like home and I get homesick if I don't visit.
I hope you will find the site a comfort and a great help like I do.

My best to you

Dee74

Hi Rapture - welcome

We're an international site - there's a lot of Britons here.

I wanted the buzz too - I was scared of facing life sober - in the end tho I didn't face life at all, and my ravenous appetite for the buzz nearly killed me.

In the end I learned to face life, straight, and I found the fear of doing that was much greater than the actual facing life.

It's scary, but you're not alone.

There's a lot of support here - it kept me from going back after a few weeks....

and you'll find ideas on where to find more support too - have you thought of AA or other things like that?

D

Rapture

Thanks for the welcome to both of you.

On the subject of AA, yes I have thought about it but I'm unsure as to where to begin really, and how to pluck up the courage. That's kinda why I'm here.. I do want to get my problems out and speak to like-minded individuals.. and a lot of people here are inspiring. It just scares me to face life, as you mentioned.

I do just need to learn how to face up to my fears I suppose. It's just crossing that first boundary

Sasha4

Most of us had to pluck up courage at one point in our lives, be it going to the doctors for help or AA.

Everybody starts somewhere.

I was very tearful at my first AA meeting.
I was also quite young, 34 I think.
All the members looked after me.
They are all alcoholics too.
There was no judgement, no feeling uncomfortable, no pressure to talk just to listen and just friendliness and understanding.

If you type AA meetings UK into your google search it should bring a list up of where they are and the times.

Depending on which train of thought you believe, some see alcoholism as a disease that requires treatment like any other disease such as cancer or diabetes. Its up to you how you treat it.
If you do not feel confident talking to your GP, maybe it is time to see a new one. One thing I learnt was though that drinking cancels out of the benefits of any anti-depressants. You won't feel the benefit if you drink while you take them.

You are young and there will be many people here, me included, who wished they had come here or sought help at your age. It would have saved them years of trouble, illness and heartache.

Grab every chance you can get to get yourself into recovery.
Come here, try AA, try SMART, read about AVRT and addiction.

Believe me, life is so much better when you are sober.

Hevyn

Welcome, Rapture. We all understand how you're feeling. I felt so much better when I joined SR and could talk about things without being judged. I wasn't alone anymore and it meant the world to me. I hope you'll feel the same. We're happy to have you with us.

visch1

Welcome Rapture, your at a place, along with AA, where we all understand. The misconceptions, and fear kept me away for too long and then I started to go to AA meetings. People explained how they got SOBER. Even the tough old timers, like what I've turned into, care and want to help if people accept it and can "follow their lead" by JUST KEEP COMING and listening. It works and may take baby steps which are not what I wanted to hear as I wanted 20 years sobriety by the end of the first week. I've got more than that and keep coming to 3-5 meetings a week to remember when and see friends. BE WELL