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Quitting all together or cutting WAY back?

Old 04-11-2013, 04:26 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Again, I would like to thank all of you for responding.

Doggonecarl, you probably have a valid point. I guess I really wish that moderation was easier for me. Maybe I do need to take a long hard look at my life. Although by joining and talking and asking questions, that's what I am trying to do.

I talked to my husband tonight when he got home from work. I told him I've joined this group. He was surprised to say the least. We talked for a little bit and I mentioned that I wasn't sure if I could cut back this time. I said that I was going to give it a month of trying to only drink one night a week, in moderation, and not keep booze in the house. And that if I find that I slip up, even once, that I will know moderation isn't possible at this point and that I am going to go for total sobriety. He said that his issue with my drinking is concern for my health. I NEVER drive when I have been drinking. I had a cousin killed by a drunk driver when I was 5 and my mother and one of my sisters were almost killed by one 5 years ago. So that has never even entered my mind. I always make sure I have a DD. So his issue isn't that I'm irresponsible. And he said I'm very good at managing the house and the kids. He just doesn't want me in an early grave.

Frankly, neither do I. I hope I can count on some of you to talk through all of this. Thanks for the conversation this far.
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Old 04-11-2013, 05:00 PM
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@BoozyBlues I hope you find out if you can or not, but I also hope you figure out the truth before it is to late. I do not mean that in no negative way... if you can find moderation then I wish you the best, but if not... I hope you realize mainly before you hurt yourself. The health of ourselves is important factor though, keep that in mind.
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Old 04-11-2013, 05:09 PM
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soberhope1984, I haven't felt any annimosity or negativity from anyone. I think everyone has had good intentions and if anything had kind of a "tough love" approach and been honest. Which is what I'm trying to do as well. Be honest, talk and figure this out before it is too late.
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Old 04-11-2013, 05:18 PM
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Simply, no.
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Old 04-11-2013, 05:25 PM
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Old 04-11-2013, 05:39 PM
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Moderate drinking/relapsing... depends how you look at it in your own mind.

I relapsed. I admitted to myself I had a problem, therefore I class myself as an alcoholic.
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Old 04-11-2013, 05:42 PM
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To Boozy Blues and Soberknitter,
I apologize if I seemed to over-step my bounds. My intention was to point out that I was not successful at moderating. For me it was self-evident that trying to moderate just proved more that I was past the point of being a moderate drinker. Your journey is YOUR life BoozyBlues and I have no place or intention of preaching.

Once I realized I was past the point of being a 'Moderate' drinker, I came across the AVRT website and book, Rational Recovery. Jack Trimpey references the case of the Moderation Management founder, and for me it was very poignant. It may have no relevance in your situation BoozyBlues.

I also came across the Pleasure Unwoven video, and it shows the technical aspects of how active addiction affects brain functions. It helped me immensely to see what was actually happening in my brain.

Thank you Soberknitter for pointing out that I may have overstepped my bounds, and was sounding critical of BoozyBlues, or maybe just missed the mark in my response. Your response to deeker seemed a little overbearing though. She was only expressing her opinion that someone who successfully cuts back was probably not a 'true' alcoholic, and tried to make a distinction which supports the position that BoozyBlues may very well not have an Addiction problem. You are correct that 'Alcoholic' is an AA term for someone that is addicted to alcohol, and its counterpart term is also the name of this Forum, 'Alcoholism'. Plus, AA is not off topic in this forum.

BoozyBlues, I genuinely wish you the best in your journey. There are in fact many people who drink and never actually cross over into 'Addiction'.
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Old 04-11-2013, 06:43 PM
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Originally Posted by RDBplus3 View Post
To Boozy Blues and Soberknitter,
I apologize if I seemed to over-step my bounds. My intention was to point out that I was not successful at moderating. For me it was self-evident that trying to moderate just proved more that I was past the point of being a moderate drinker.
RD, I totally agree with that statement. It makes complete sense to me. If you have to try to moderate you probably are past the point. If you are a moderate drinker why would you try moderating your drinking. I get it RD!
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Old 04-11-2013, 06:55 PM
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People who don't have a problem drinking don't have to try to moderate at all. They just drink occasionally or socially and let it go with ease.
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Old 04-11-2013, 10:57 PM
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Originally Posted by BoozyBlues View Post
Have any of you successfully managed to go from drinking every single night to being able to drink on the rare occasion or once a week in moderation socially? How successful were you?

I ask because I wonder if I just don't keep any booze in the house, and since I only get out away from the kids one night a week due to my husband's work schedule, if I could successfully cut way back.
You either drink, or don't. Easy ain't it!
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:16 AM
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For me it never worked for more than a few weeks to "not drink but only on special occasions" before falling back into a pattern.
My initial resolve would work for a while but would quickly turn in to once every 2 weeks, becoming "only" on weekends, would become "hump days are allowed too" would become every other day, and eventually become daily drinking.

I also noticed that a pattern, any pattern, even "only once a month and on special occasions" suddenly presented my schedule with a lot of "special occasions" or the "oh what the hell, this one extra day doesn't matter either", "oh what the hell, this impromtu visit from a friend doesn't count even if it is a Monday" , etc etc.

So no. For me it never worked in the long term.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:42 AM
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I don't know how to start, or to begin for that matter. I am a decent person, but have always gone to drinking wine for a resolve. Doesn't what time, whenever i get up. Yet, i will never ever touch it if i know i have to work or their is a family function. I do have control then! I don't feel like a full human being; I don't know how to stop, help.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:56 AM
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Welcome Tina

You'll find a lot of support and ideas here - you might get more response if you start your own thread though

D
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