Anger and Frustration
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 19
Anger and Frustration
Hello there – I have a question:
Whilst I am on my own with some of the twelve steps I feel OK, but as soon as I sit in a group of AA’s I start feeling uncomfortable. I sit and listen to some of the stories and like what I hear, but more often then not some people go right up my nose with their repetitive waffling.
Now, here is my question: Am I allowed to feel angry or not? I am totally confused as anger makes me think of boooooze – and I do not want to pick up that first drink.
Are we as followers of AA allowed to feel ANY negative emotions at all?
Kind Regards
Felicia
Whilst I am on my own with some of the twelve steps I feel OK, but as soon as I sit in a group of AA’s I start feeling uncomfortable. I sit and listen to some of the stories and like what I hear, but more often then not some people go right up my nose with their repetitive waffling.
Now, here is my question: Am I allowed to feel angry or not? I am totally confused as anger makes me think of boooooze – and I do not want to pick up that first drink.
Are we as followers of AA allowed to feel ANY negative emotions at all?
Kind Regards
Felicia
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Re: Anger and Frustration
Mmmmmm...
Hello Felicia, my name's Dan. I've never heard of or read anything in the AA literature that precludes us from feeling any kind of emotion. We are encouraged to keep an open mind at all times, which, granted, can be difficult sometimes. I encounter a lot of people at my meetings that have a tendency to go on and on about the same thing all the time. I really don't think there's an issue here at all. I have come to accept that not everything I hear in a meeting will draw my attention. Same in society at large I should think.
Hello Felicia, my name's Dan. I've never heard of or read anything in the AA literature that precludes us from feeling any kind of emotion. We are encouraged to keep an open mind at all times, which, granted, can be difficult sometimes. I encounter a lot of people at my meetings that have a tendency to go on and on about the same thing all the time. I really don't think there's an issue here at all. I have come to accept that not everything I hear in a meeting will draw my attention. Same in society at large I should think.
Last edited by Dan; 05-07-2004 at 06:22 PM.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Re: Anger and Frustration
Hi, Felicia,
Perhaps you could tell us what about the situation makes you angry. Are you frustrated? Irritated?
In my opinion, it isn't the emotion that matters...it's what you believe about the situation and how you deal with those beliefs. If your irritation during the meeting is a trigger to drinking, then planning for that irritation is going to be important. You can't change the other people, and you can't change the format of the meetings, so it'll probably be most productive to try and change your reaction.
Maybe there's a way to turn negative emotions into positive action....
Don S
Perhaps you could tell us what about the situation makes you angry. Are you frustrated? Irritated?
In my opinion, it isn't the emotion that matters...it's what you believe about the situation and how you deal with those beliefs. If your irritation during the meeting is a trigger to drinking, then planning for that irritation is going to be important. You can't change the other people, and you can't change the format of the meetings, so it'll probably be most productive to try and change your reaction.
Maybe there's a way to turn negative emotions into positive action....
Don S
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado
Posts: 844
Re: Anger and Frustration
felicia
anger is an emotion- and as a human i have the full gamut of emotions-i cannot always control my emotions. I can control my reactions to them. no way have i teached that stage that the Big Book advises pp66-67 "we realized the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick....
but i also know that ..."this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal."
So if my anger leads to deep resentment, then my own warning bell needs to sound!
thank you for airing out this topic
mackat
anger is an emotion- and as a human i have the full gamut of emotions-i cannot always control my emotions. I can control my reactions to them. no way have i teached that stage that the Big Book advises pp66-67 "we realized the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick....
but i also know that ..."this business of resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal."
So if my anger leads to deep resentment, then my own warning bell needs to sound!
thank you for airing out this topic
mackat
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Re: Anger and Frustration
We're only human Felicia. We're absolutly allowed to have these negative emotions. The key being not to react on them. Learn to pass it over to your HP, talk it out with your sponsor or another member. We're not perfect, we all have to learn to deal with varying emotions when we get sober. It's okay. Often I find in myself that self-will can run rampant and I have to really converse with myself, who, what, why am I really angry? Sometimes the answer is a bitter pill to swallow, but today I have tools to help me through it, whereas in my drinking day's I would have acted upon those emotions and end up probably really hurting someone emotionally because I was in ME mode.
I know that when some speak at my meetings, I know exactly what is going to be said. But I had to learn that though I may have heard it a zillion times the newcomer hadn't, and it just may be what they needed to hear.
Your doing great by the way!
I know that when some speak at my meetings, I know exactly what is going to be said. But I had to learn that though I may have heard it a zillion times the newcomer hadn't, and it just may be what they needed to hear.
Your doing great by the way!
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