Petewill

i am glad i made it this far, i have a sponsor and am working the steps, go to meetings 4 to 5 times a week. i do see some of the promises coming to fruition. lately though, i feel i am just going through the motions and almost, bored. i know this sounds foolish to you more seasoned vets. knowing that i cannot escape reality and get blasted to oblivion sucks. but, i don't want to go back to loss of self respect and crappy life again. 2 months into recovery, i got a really good job, however, dealing with other people's moods and the like just sucks sometimes. this past weekend, the thought of drinking was very strong.. i did the right thing, called my sponsor and went to a meeting. i thought by this time again, the desire would have lessened, when I had 18 months 3 years ago, it seemed easier... lol.. i'll quit nagging. thx for reading.

hypochondriac

I remember my desire to drink increasing after 3 + months. I was feeling better physically and starting to forget why I quit. I increased the support I had around that time. Is there something else you could do? Maybe go to different meetings or look into other types of support?

I just wanted to say too that drinking is not the only way to escape reality. I don't think that is always a bad thing and people do it all the time, just by doing something different to what they normally do. Go sky diving, read a book, go for a long walk... Break up your routine to stop yourself from getting bored x

bbthumper

Well done on making it this far. That's great!
Where are you and your sponsor at with your step work?

Quinne

If you're bored with your routine, could you try switching up your meetings a bit?

Xx

MeSoSober

You are aren't nagging. Just whining. :rotfxko

Kidding.

I think you did the exact right thing by reaching out. Might it be time for a little NEGATIVE reinforcement? I need both positive and negative motivation, but I think sometimes the negative can literally scare you straight, or into wanting to stay straight.

I know there have been times when I've watched a show or read something that really made me sit up and say "Whoa. I do NOT want that to be me." Maybe a not-so-gentle reminder of the potentially catastrophic consequences of relapse. And maybe it will help, too, to remind yourself that it will get better, as it almost certainly will.

You got some other good suggestions, too. And 113 days is awesome! It's been a long time since I had going-on-four-months of sobriety.

2granddaughters

I can identify with you, Pete.

I have posted this video before but perhaps you missed it. I can relate to Don C's explanation of our recovery process.

4 Seasons of Recovery - YouTube

It keeps getting better, "sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly".

My friend, Mitch, celebrated 47 yrs a couple of weeks ago and he's always saying "Keep coming back it gets better"

What does your sponsor say about where you are at?

All the best.

Bob R

Petewill

that was really good to watch.. nice way to see recovery.....