Clement

Hello everyone,

There is someone very close to me who is alcoholic, he can go for weeks even months without drinking but only if he stays at home, whenever he goes out he begins to suffer abnormally high stress levels and is gripped by a strong need to drink that lasts until he gets home, after which it subsides in less than an hour once he is no longer stressed, if he steps outside for something as simple as a trip to the supermarket there is a 50% chance of him entering a pub, it means i've taken to accompanying him everywhere.

He started drinking at the age of sixteen on having gotten a job in the car industry, his drinking was hidden from family members and only came to light on the loss of his job and his increasingly unpleasant nature (when drunk, sober he's a wonderful person)) seven years later, i am at a loss as to find out if his anxiety is causing the alcoholism, or if his alcoholism has left him this anxious, the two problems seem to be inextricably linked and fueling each other, and i don't know how to help him break the cycle.

Does this pattern of alcoholism sound familiar to anyone? He would be drinking a lot more and far more often were it not for his wish to stop and our constant vigilance, even then he still has a lapse every 12 weeks or so, i'd greatly appreciate some advice on what to do if possible.

Thank you very much.

Taking5

If leaving the house causes this much anxiety he needs to see a health professional. They likelyhave much better meds than alcohol available to help deal with this type of problem.

Clement

He was prescribed Citalopram a couple of years back which he took for the best part of a year, it's supposed to help with anxiety but he reported that they made no difference and had the added effect of removing a lot of his "get up and go," i certainly noticed it, he seemed less alert and not his usual self, he's had a tendency to try new things his whole life (often forgetting about them when something new takes his imagination) like arts and crafts, gardening etc, but the tablets seemed to dampen that part of him and still didn't suppress his anxiety whilst outside.

My problem is i don't know if ten years of drinking have caused this anxiety or if it was the anxiety that led to his drinking, and i don't know if i should be targeting his anxiety or his drinking first, he seems to be very fragile when outside, like anything at all can make him crack and his first impulse every time is to go drink.

It may sound like 12 weeks sober at a time is pretty good, but he's mostly achieved it thanks to those around him and not long ago his doctor was very concerned with his liver, i am truly stuck because i don't understand how a person who acts relatively normally at home, lived a seemingly normal life and had a job for many years now crumbles mentally within a half hour of being outside, can alcohol damage your brain in this way? Is that what has caused it? I'm totally lost.

2granddaughters

Take your friend to a few "open" AA meetings and listen to the stories there. I think your friend would feel right at home with the members and their "ISMs" of alcoholism.

Open AA meetings are open to the public and you are not asked/required to participate in any way..... they will pass the basket and most folks throw a dollar or two in to cover rent and coffee costs.

The 12 Steps of AA will not only get you dry but will address those things in our character/personality that made drinking so attractive in the first place. There is "a wrench to fit every nut".

All the best.

Bob R