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Old 04-02-2013, 03:21 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Carl nailed it for me big.

I've always seen the no changes first year thing as based on not stressing ourselves out...if you're stressing out about not making changes it seems pretty pointless to keep going down that road.

I got sober to rebuild myself and my life. That means changes.

I thought about them all pretty carefully beforehand, but I also made sure I made a definite decision on them all too.

You're sober, you're unencumbered by any ties - you can absolutely make of your life what you want...it could be volunteering, it could be staying where you are with modifications, it could be something else entirely....

whaddya waiting for?

D
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Old 04-02-2013, 04:31 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Thumbs up

Yeah, in so many important ways, life really is what we make of it, and make of ourselves too. There's always some risk in whatever choices we make, for whatever reasons, at whenever times. I like what both Carl and Dee have shared -- good sober advice.

A well lived life, imo, serves up all that is required for sustaining and nourishing a truly lasting, permanent, happy sobriety. We became sober to live!! Follow your best dreams!! Be free and be yourself!! Congratulations on your success, bigsombrero!! Do it!!

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Old 04-02-2013, 05:31 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Hi Big,

I'm glad you posted on this dilemma; I relate A LOT to all you say - about your single living situation, working from home (not that I do that now, or work at all, but I did so in my own small research / analysis biz a couple of years ago), depression, over thinking leading to decisional paralysis (:-)).....

I'm not able to suggest what you could, should, ought or even might do. Except to say: from having read your story a fair bit in past posts, it sounds to me like you truly are one of those people who can get themselves off to another country and culture and then just wing it: i.e. be thoroughly open to whatever comes, by immersing yourself in it. It just seems / sounds to me like you're blessed in that inner gift. Maybe, then, your intuition - about just having a go at this volunteer aid situation, which is only short term anyway - is 'right' for you, now.

Of course, me being a worry wart / over thinker too, I'd say it would be great if you're able to hang on to your current apartment, so there's somewhere to come home too? If not: THAT'S when such decisions - which many more settled people don't really understand - become a bit fraught. in the end, though, yeh, do you go with your traveller heart? Or your just-staying heart?

I get it! I believe you'll make the choice and then go with what happens next, whichever it is. You're a star!
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:41 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Thanks guys. Yes Mizz I do have a knack for it I suppose. I have been around the world solo traveling a lot. Has been my one sober reprieve through the years. It's something I have been doing since I was a kid. I spent a year when I was young in the Dominican Repulic, went to Siberia (then Communist Russia) as a kid without my parents, and most recently lived in Central America and was happy there. I guess I felt like I gave it a "fair test" the last time I was down there. I came back here and have given this a "fair test" also. All things being equal I am leaning towards giving it a shot. I can rent out my Chicago APT to guests when I'm gone so I can keep my flat here. There's a lot of reasons I CANT do any of this too, but I think it is best to try and keep positive.

I obviously won't leave tomorrow but I will put a realistic plan in place and see if I can make it happen. Never hurts to try. If my effort fails then I'm safe and set here in Chicago with summer on the way and a renewed effort to socialize. I have to just start taking control of this stuff instead of watching everything go by.
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