Very Lonely
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Very Lonely
Well...as the heading goes. I am 32 years old, been sober for 1 year and 3 months or so. I am in college doing a postgraduate course and back living with my parents. College broke up yesterday for 2 weeks, for Easter. The weather is ****, it's not snowing, but constant sleet, very very windy and extremely cold and stormy. Lights are flickering as well. As a result, I have been home all day.
I get very, very lonely, like last night and now tonight. (It's now 7:30pm here). I am introverted, and shy, and I don't have a lot of friends, just 2 or 3 close ones. My parents house is in a rural area, very isolated. There isn't a lot to do in the evenings when I get back from college and I spend a lot of time in my room studying/reading/DVDs/internet. My mother and I do not get on (I have posted here before about this, TBH I find her to be an extremely negative person and I have little respect for her as a result of the names she calls me and my sister).
Anyway, I am extremely lonely. And I know I have to change my habits. Sometimes it is so hard to be cheery, you know? I have a two week break from college now and a mountain of study to do, and so little desire to do any of it. Last night I was up very late watching a DVD and slept in today until late, and was in my room for a large portion of the day...which led to a row between my mother and myself. I admit that this is my bad habit on weekends, and I would not like to spend the next two weeks like this. I have discussed all this with my therapist, and he gave me good advice but I spend a lot of time in my room reading, which leads me to feeling lonely, and I decided to post here! I am hoping things will be okay when I finish my exams in mid-May, but right now that feels like a lifetime away! So I feel like I am stuck in a big rut, and the thought of having a drink on this stormy night would be tempting. Thankfully I don't have any in the house!
Anyway my plan for tonight is to keep warm and read a few chapters of "Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain. It was recommended to me here on another thread I wrote.
Thanks for reading and listening to me.
I get very, very lonely, like last night and now tonight. (It's now 7:30pm here). I am introverted, and shy, and I don't have a lot of friends, just 2 or 3 close ones. My parents house is in a rural area, very isolated. There isn't a lot to do in the evenings when I get back from college and I spend a lot of time in my room studying/reading/DVDs/internet. My mother and I do not get on (I have posted here before about this, TBH I find her to be an extremely negative person and I have little respect for her as a result of the names she calls me and my sister).
Anyway, I am extremely lonely. And I know I have to change my habits. Sometimes it is so hard to be cheery, you know? I have a two week break from college now and a mountain of study to do, and so little desire to do any of it. Last night I was up very late watching a DVD and slept in today until late, and was in my room for a large portion of the day...which led to a row between my mother and myself. I admit that this is my bad habit on weekends, and I would not like to spend the next two weeks like this. I have discussed all this with my therapist, and he gave me good advice but I spend a lot of time in my room reading, which leads me to feeling lonely, and I decided to post here! I am hoping things will be okay when I finish my exams in mid-May, but right now that feels like a lifetime away! So I feel like I am stuck in a big rut, and the thought of having a drink on this stormy night would be tempting. Thankfully I don't have any in the house!
Anyway my plan for tonight is to keep warm and read a few chapters of "Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain. It was recommended to me here on another thread I wrote.
Thanks for reading and listening to me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: London
Posts: 299
Tetra, is there anyway you can think of this time in your life as a chance to rebuild e.g. get your postgrad, plan what you want to do next, use your parent's place as a base to do that.
The weather is truly awful in UK at the moment, I'm in south england and it's freezing. Keep thinking this too shall pass. How rural are you out of interest? Was thinking if you can drive to a bigger town. I'm quite introverted I found that joining gyms and going to steam/sauna rooms regularly you get to meet people who go there and get chatting (who aren't just in pubs).
I also read the same book recently, it was very useful. All my life I felt surrounded by loud people (very loud but great friends growing up) and a chaotic family. Was so refreshing to read and get a bit of acceptance. For me, as an introvert, it's now getting the balance between time alone and meeting others.
Think of this as a moment of time, and work out what you can do to meet others in amongst breaks from college. I make myself ring people when I feel too isolated (I don't have loads of friends but I'm making the effort to re-connect with people when I get too isolated).
The weather is truly awful in UK at the moment, I'm in south england and it's freezing. Keep thinking this too shall pass. How rural are you out of interest? Was thinking if you can drive to a bigger town. I'm quite introverted I found that joining gyms and going to steam/sauna rooms regularly you get to meet people who go there and get chatting (who aren't just in pubs).
I also read the same book recently, it was very useful. All my life I felt surrounded by loud people (very loud but great friends growing up) and a chaotic family. Was so refreshing to read and get a bit of acceptance. For me, as an introvert, it's now getting the balance between time alone and meeting others.
Think of this as a moment of time, and work out what you can do to meet others in amongst breaks from college. I make myself ring people when I feel too isolated (I don't have loads of friends but I'm making the effort to re-connect with people when I get too isolated).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: minnesota
Posts: 272
Hey tetra...just read your post and wanted to say hi. i am in Minnesota an the weather here is also really too cold for this time of year. i think you should know that being quiet isn't anything to feel bad about. still waters run deep! i have a daughter that is very quiet and doesn't have a lot of friends, but when she has something to say, it's usually worth the wait! TBH some people shouldn't talk as much as they do, if ya get my drift : ) also, as far as your mom goes, it sounds like she has problems. i have always let my mom's unhealthy behaviors remind me how NOT to be.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northeast
Posts: 441
I find bad weather to be extremely depressing. I live in the northeast USA and its been a very cold/snowy/windy winter. I am considering a move down south after the summer. I seem to flourish and be overall happier in nicer weather.
As for feeling lonely, maybe try getting out to a library, gym, or AA meeting for social contact? I know you can be around people and still feel lonely, maybe also meet some people at meetings? SR it good to a certain extent.
As for feeling lonely, maybe try getting out to a library, gym, or AA meeting for social contact? I know you can be around people and still feel lonely, maybe also meet some people at meetings? SR it good to a certain extent.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 48
Tetra, I completely relate to you. I am in college & I also live with my parents who I don't get along too well with. Last week was spring break & I was so anxious about it because I had to be home with them all the time. I'm an introvert & I love reading, which also causes a rift between my parents and I because I don't spend time with them (but who would want to spend time with people who berate you & call you negative names?). Lastly, I also went through a terrible 3 year depression and I still experience the residual effects of that disease.
My advice would be to slowly do things to lighten your mood. Often, with depression feeling happy is not only (seemingly) impossible, but uncomfortable. I would suggest reading inspirational quotes (The Daily Love) is a great website, watching movies, doing a little physical activity, and beginning to engage in positive though (The Big Book & AA meetings really helped with this).
When you feel yourself become depressed, you have to take action (as hard as it is) whether it be taking a warm bath, praying, or going to an AA meeting, taking action to combat that hopeless feeling is really important.
I hope you begin to feel a little better & learn to cope with living with your parents a little better.
My advice would be to slowly do things to lighten your mood. Often, with depression feeling happy is not only (seemingly) impossible, but uncomfortable. I would suggest reading inspirational quotes (The Daily Love) is a great website, watching movies, doing a little physical activity, and beginning to engage in positive though (The Big Book & AA meetings really helped with this).
When you feel yourself become depressed, you have to take action (as hard as it is) whether it be taking a warm bath, praying, or going to an AA meeting, taking action to combat that hopeless feeling is really important.
I hope you begin to feel a little better & learn to cope with living with your parents a little better.
formerly IMHomerSimpson
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Connecticut,USA
Posts: 115
[QUOTE=Tetra;3877373]
Anyway my plan for tonight is to keep warm and read a few chapters of "Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain. It was recommended to me here on another thread I wrote.
QUOTE]
That sounds like a very comfy evening to me, I'm sorta jealous. Enjoy it!
Patrick
Anyway my plan for tonight is to keep warm and read a few chapters of "Quiet - The Power of Introverts in a World that can't stop talking" by Susan Cain. It was recommended to me here on another thread I wrote.
QUOTE]
That sounds like a very comfy evening to me, I'm sorta jealous. Enjoy it!
Patrick
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by Tetra 
Well...as the heading goes. I am 32 years old, been sober for 1 year and 3 months or so. I am in college doing a postgraduate course and back living with my parents. College broke up yesterday for 2 weeks, for Easter. The weather is ****, it's not snowing, but constant sleet, very very windy and extremely cold and stormy. Lights are flickering as well. As a result, I have been home all day.
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