bnmbh

drinking, drugged up, completely shot to hell
left behind, aint nothing left to sell
oh, aint nothing left to sell

the hatred of your blood
so tortured, so insane
dead ends, lost hope
keep running through your veins
oh, running through your veins

ohhhhhhhh
So high, and then I fell
ohhhhhhhh
Can't stop the ringing of my funeral bell

The loss of one's self
Inside the wheel of doom
Genocide is coming way too soon.
oh, way too soon

The undying fear
the strength of one's demise
broke and strung out
you wave yourself goodbye
oh, goodbye

ohhhhhhhh
So high, and then I fell
ohhhhhhhh
Can't stop the ringing
ohhhhhhhh
So high, and then I fell
ohhhhhhhh
I hope i dont offend any one by this.. I can really relate to it..

bnmbh

When ever i listen to this song i feel like it sums me up.

awuh1

Been there, then took a new path. I'm not going back. Join us.

2granddaughters

I quit listening to that stuff and went to a meeting.

All the best.

Bob R

deeker

Just feels that way now BN, I was there only about a year ago my friend. Tried to commit suicide. I was a sick puppy. Hopeless, desperate, thought I would never get through and wished I had died.

I had completely destroyed my entire life. I had destroyed my family had a record, no license, lost my beautiful home, my hot truck , my awesome boat, all to addiciton.
I did come through it all with prayer, meetings, a sponsor in AA . Just feels like u r stuck and u can not imagine life being any better right now. You need to take some suggestions from people on here.


Please have an open mind. Many of the people in here have found a way out of that mess and are living happy and contented lives, me included.

Ask them what they did. If it's working for them, why wouldn't it work for you. My suggestion to you is take suggestions.

I am sure a few people in here have given you some already. You won't know if they work unless you give them a try.

You have to start somewhere and if you are desperate enough you may be willing to do whatever it takes and try whatever is suggested, if it's working for someone else.

You can read and read all day but for me I had to take action.

God Bless You!

1newcreation

Join us as we Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny!

Dee74

have you followed up on any of the suggestions you got last thread bnmbh?

D

bnmbh

Im going to make my self go to a meeting tomorrow. I found one in my home town that starts at noon.. Im gonna go no matter how bad i feel. Thank u to all for the positive feedback.. Im gonna fight this..

Threshold

Couple of thoughts...that song...gah...I have felt hopeless and broken. I came here, told on myself and borrowed some hope from the people who'd pushed past those feelings and found recovery.

Second thought...you made the comment that you are going to make yourself go to a meeting. I remember having that mindset too. About sobriety and recovery...I was going to make myself, force myself, PUNISH myself with sobriety and recovery.

Then the light went on. Sobriety, recovery weren't something I had to force myself, make myself or punish myself with. They were things I learned to allow myself to do and be.

I stopped fighting even the idea of them, which was terrifying to me, and allowed myself to be sober, to recover. I had to stop fighting it all. Had to stop hanging on tooth and nail to active addiction.

I was afraid to not use and not drink. I had to allow myself to let it go.

It's gone much better for me since I did that.

2granddaughters

Go to the meeting and surrender. Ask an oldtimer there if he/she can help you save your life... they will. Do what they suggest.

I went because I had to in the beginning, now I go to the meetings because I want to.

All the best.

Bob R

Fernaceman

Great responses here.

I agree that sobriety and recovery isn't a punishment and sentence. I, too, viewed it that way for a long time. It is a gift. Many do not even get the chance or opportunity for it. May sounds sappy, but it's true.

deeker

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I love sappy Fernace! Thanks!