boozeybutterfly

Just a question to those of you who you who've been around the block. Please, I only want honest facts from those of you who've been in the situation or known someone who has. I'm not looking for a bunch of people telling me to stop drinking, or that they'll pray for me, blah blah blah. That won't help me. The only reason I'm posting here is because I didn't know where else to ask & figured I'd get some honest answers here. I've been trying to cut back on my alcohol usage. I know there are SOME people who can do this with help & some who can't, of course. I may be one of the former, or the latter. Only time will tell.

My question is, my current habit of drinking has been about 4-5 liquor drinks or 5-6 beers, about 3-4 times a week. I suppose you'd say I'm a binge drinker. I've been testing a method out lately & noticed that if I drink 1-3 liquor drinks or beers every day, skipping 2-3 days a week (no alcohol), I seem to be "satisfied" & not want to binge like I normally do. I also know that drinking more often, but in less amounts is healthier than binging. 1-2 standard drinks per day for women, from what I've read. Anyhow, so is this just a sneaky trick my body is playing on me? Am I really satisfied drinking those 1-3 everyday or every other day (want to eventually cut back to 1 or 2), or will my desire/cravings just increase if I keep this up? To the point where I am having binge episodes every day? I know there are plenty of people out there who drink 1-2 beers or glasses of wine every day & have done it for years & are fine. Would just like to hear your personal experiences. Thanks.

Jsober

Ex binge drinker here. When I controlled my drinking I couldn't enjoy it and when I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't control it. Sure I could control from time to time or periods but this just fed the lie as I would eventually end up drinking more than intended.

Many people do drink 1-2 a day with no issues. I know I'm not one of those people and that is ok. Maybe you are and can stay in the healthy range. If for some reason you cannot then you can look for more answers. Just be honest with yourself. That was the hardest part for me. I didn't want to believe I couldn't control something. But with all the experiments I did, I was forced to see the truth. I don't need any other experiments to know the truth.

I tried many times on my own to beat it but would always fail. I use AA to stay sober and it has worked for me. It's not as scary as I thought. There are other programs you can check out too and research. One book that helped me learn a lot about alcohol and to decide if I needed help was Under the Influence

llastchance8

A very frank answers to all your questions above , is " YES " .

We have been there and done that. It is always progressive.. never down wards.

We are glad that you are posting on this forum..This is the best thing to happen at earlier stage.. We wish , we had done the same at earlier stage.

From our experience of years " Trying to control alcohol is like running after a mirage. The water does not exist in reality. But yes, the thirst gets more and more strong.

Keep posting and reading on SR. Some very sad stories ,posted here ,might help to open the eyes at very early stage.

All the best.

Rennet

Hi there I'm a binge drinker. I think your amount of drinking is excessive (but much less than mine haha) but I can see how one might think it's ok. It probably isn't affecting your life in a noticeable way at the moment.

What concerns me a bit is how mathematical you are with it. I was the same way for years, albeit with a higher volume (6 per night, every night, then to 8, then to 10, now it's just a free for all and I make sure to have more than enough). It suggests you are giving yourself a dosage of alcohol to cope with a craving/need for alcohol.

Another important thing to look at is the trend. Where were you 5 years ago? 4? 3... you get the point. Be honest with yourself about the trend. Alcoholism is a progressive disease (this is probably the most important thing to understand about it). It gets much harder to stop the further you go with it. If the trend says you have needed more (even just a tiny bit more) over time that is a huge red flag, tread carefully.

Threshold

I was primarily a binge drinker.

My opinion (and personal experience) is that it IS a sneaky trick your body (and mind) are playing on you. It will increase, as it will take a bigger "dose" to get the same effect. The desire won't wane and most of us find ourselves drinking an amount that used to be a binge for us, every day.

sugarbear1

Sounds like you just drink every few days and don't really binge. I see a binge as once a week or longer in between, but that is my definition.

It never matters how often or how much we drink, it's what that drinking does for you.

The medical community is adding binge drinking to the definition of alcoholism in the new DSM.

Do you think you have a problem?

theHomerSimpson

?

sugarbear1

The point is, when we put so much effort into thinking about drinking or controlling the amount.......

Who needs to put energy into all of that stuff?

LexieCat

If you feel you have to drink, and are trying to figure out a way to control how much you drink, you already have a problem. Mine was like that and the more I tried to "control" it, the worse my drinking got. Over the course of four and a half years of counting drinks, deciding which days I would drink, blah blah blah, I wound up with a severe physical addiction that resulted in alcohol withdrawal symptoms on a daily basis.

I'm sober four and a half years now, and do not miss alcohol AT ALL. The people you are talking about that have 1-2 drinks a day and enjoy it are people who do not HAVE to drink. Nobody has figured out a way to turn an alcoholic into a normal drinker. Alcoholism often starts out exactly as you have described your own drinking, but it progresses over time.

paul99

I was a binge drinker who turned into a daily drinker.

Remember, those people who are having 1-2 drinks day aren't on alcoholism forums trying to figure out how to have 1-2 drinks a day.

0percentABV

And so it begins...

100% of people on here will say their experiences with this failed. I am one as well. For the people that it did work, well they are not on here and I would have to say they are like the tree that falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it. My wife cuts back on her drinking every once and a while, like instead of having her typical 1 or 2 weak mixed drinks she'll have none and the only way I know about it is that the half empty bottle of vodka in the fridge stay half empty for days. But when I decided to cut back it was on more realistic terms because, hey, I just can't stop drinking.

But at least you are aware. So many people don't become aware till it's too late. And who knows, maybe it'll just go away but don't get so down if it doesn't. Life doesn't have to include drinking. We just train ourselves to think that.

julez

I went from NEVER drinking, to drinking on weekends (binge) to drinking a few times a week, and then to every single night, and then every single night to blackout.

Its HARD to stop. Don't let yourself get to that point. TRUST ME.

ForMyGirls

If I were able to keep my drinking down to 5-6 beers 2-3 times a week, I wouldn't have felt like I had a problem and I wouldn't be here....

Point being, it isn't necessarily about the number of drinks or how often you drink, it is more about how those drinks affect your your life. Someone said it best earlier when they said that the people who are having 1-2 drinks day aren't on alcoholism forums trying to figure out how to have 1-2 drinks a day.

Justfor1

My problem was staying sober for weeks or months at a time and then go on a bender. Usually the bender was 2-3 days but it often led to smoking cocaine and staying up for 3 days not sleeping. The amount of vodka I would consume was scary. And off to detox I would go because my body became physically dependent on alcohol within days.

Eddie2010

Sometimes I wonder if it's a good idea to compare "stories". I used to always look for the person that appeared worse than me and then use that as an excuse for what I was doing to myself. "I'm not THAT bad", so I'm o.k. kind of thing.

And yes, it's often a progressive thing. After a while the body is just addicted.

My advice. If you think you might have a problem, you probably do. I wish I had listened to my inner voice years ago.

Justfor1

[QUOTE=Eddie2010;3869784]Sometimes I wonder if it's a good idea to compare "stories". I used to always look for the person that appeared worse than me and then use that as an excuse for what I was doing to myself. "I'm not THAT bad", so I'm o.k. kind of thing.

I think it can help people at times to compare "war stories". I learned that I was not the only one who did dangerous and illegal crimes while under the influence. I do look at the differences, at times, and know that I shouldn't. However, I go the opposite way and declare, "that person isn't even a real alcoholic."

soberlicious

This from the CDC website:
.
Most people do define binge drinking as more episodic, but to 'binge' on anything is to consume more than the standard or "normal" amount. So by those standards I was a daily binge drinker.

Boozeybutterfly, I can't tell you whether you have a problem with alcohol or not, but I can say that alcohol is extremely important to you. I can tell that from your post. That in itself says a lot to me.

Someguy23

I don't mean to offend anyone, but in my opinion saying that everyone who's concerned about his/her drinking is an alcoholic, or about to become one, is like saying that everyone who's concerned about his/her weight is obese (or about to become obese).

That being said, I am an alcoholic and I have to say that I can relate to the OP's post quite a bit.

I'm a binge drinker too, although I'll admit that a binge for me is a lot more than 5-6 beers, but the vast majority of times I drank I'd have a pint, two at most. It wasn't a question of restricting myself, like the OP said I would feel satisfied and wouldn't want more. However, my brain does a neat little trick of convincing me to push the envelope.

I can keep to my limits for months, I've done it for years in fact, but sooner or later I'll go out with friends one night and I'll convince myself that I should cut loose and get drunk for once. Nothing much will happen, so I'll keep doing it every now and again... until, of course something does happen...

So I would say to the OP that the biggest red flag, according to me, would be if in the future you start trying to convince yourself to up the ante.

losteverything

I started off with just a few on days off...then a few every couple of days..then a few more on those days, then everyday..then all day. It seems like you have given so much thought and energy into alcohol. Let me ask you this...if it isn't a problem for you, do you also put this much thought and energy into, say... drinking coffee, or juice? Do you stress over when you can have your next ice cream, how many ice creams you can have? .. you have found yourself on an Addiction Recovery Website..that didn't happen by accident..

JesseJe

I think everyone is just erring on the side of caution. Boozybutterfly needs to know how quickly and unexpectedly a 'controlled' drinking habit can turn into a full blown addiction, and how terrible an experience that is.

It was terrifying for me. I'm only 28 and I look back and see how the occasional enjoyment of alcohol turned into alcohol needing to accompany anything I did. Including art, music, job interviews, social gatherings, confrontations, lunches, shopping, the beach, dates, sex, I MEAN EVERYTHING....

I barely noticed either. Just sort of slowly became the norm. Sad as I completely lost myself in the process. My true values, my core beliefs, my personality, it all was covered up in a cloud of fake confidence and fake happiness.

I recommend taking a month off booze and re-evaluating your dependance on it. Can be quite eye-opening.

Best of luck!