1st post
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
1st post
I am a 38 year old single daddy with 15 and 12 year old daughters. I am an alchoholic. I guess a closet alkie cause most people would never know. I never drrink with them in the car, but I do (like today) take of work from time to time and drink all day. I only drink beer but I hate myself that I drink so much. My kids' mother left us 10 years ago and I was never able to recoop from it. I still miss her everyday. My girls are very active in sports as my oldest is on one of the top 5 fastpitch softball teams in the country and my 12 y.o is in Gymnastics. I dont want to drink myself to death. I wanna see my babies graduate High school.
I have tried everything to quit and actually did quit once for 4 months. I do not use drugs or smoke, but I cannot keep the beer away. I have my own fridge in my room to hide it from my kids. I drink alone as well. My side has began to hurt, not sure if its my Livier or gall bladder or just a strain (due to my work) but I need to know what the "EFF" I got to do to put this poison down.
Being a single dad I am afraid to check myself into a help center because they may take my kids. I make 6 figures and have a very successful business but I am depressed I guess and meds DONT WORK! anyone with a suggestion to help me get myself together I would appreciate. Its already 10:20 am and I am on my 3rd beer. I called my assistant in today to tell him I wasnt feeling well. I am living a hell on Earth. PLEASE HELP ME!
I have tried everything to quit and actually did quit once for 4 months. I do not use drugs or smoke, but I cannot keep the beer away. I have my own fridge in my room to hide it from my kids. I drink alone as well. My side has began to hurt, not sure if its my Livier or gall bladder or just a strain (due to my work) but I need to know what the "EFF" I got to do to put this poison down.
Being a single dad I am afraid to check myself into a help center because they may take my kids. I make 6 figures and have a very successful business but I am depressed I guess and meds DONT WORK! anyone with a suggestion to help me get myself together I would appreciate. Its already 10:20 am and I am on my 3rd beer. I called my assistant in today to tell him I wasnt feeling well. I am living a hell on Earth. PLEASE HELP ME!
greenturtle
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 208
Hi SingleDaddy - I don't have much advice to give since I am re-started my clock after five weeks of not drinking and am now on day one again. However, I can hear the desperation in your post - and I wanted you to know that there is someone here that hears you. As someone who just relapsed and am painfully aware of my own self-hatred - I know what you are going through. I think you just have to want a sober life more than anything else. But it is and always will be a nerveending cycle of self-loathing until you finally sober up. Perhaps going to your doctor and get prescribed something that will take the edge off of you wanting to drink? Start going to a counselor, attend a few AA meetings? I know that when I walk into an AA meeting - I feel like I am among people who know me, my problem, and my struggle like no one else. There is comfort in that. But you have to want to do it for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
I know exactly what you are going thru. I am a single dad of two, son 15 and daughter 12.
years of vodka abuse took their toll and had to get down to it. I lost so much of their life.
Aa was the only thing that worked for me, and trust me i tried everything out there. read everything, talk to everyone, etc
It even took a while in AA but when i got serious and HONEST about it it caught on.
I and we are here for you.
years of vodka abuse took their toll and had to get down to it. I lost so much of their life.
Aa was the only thing that worked for me, and trust me i tried everything out there. read everything, talk to everyone, etc
It even took a while in AA but when i got serious and HONEST about it it caught on.
I and we are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 93
I am 28 years old and have 2 young kids. I drink everyday. I took 4 shots of 100 proof before coming to work this morning and now it is wearing off and I feel like $hit. My head is pounding and I think I only got about 3 hours of sleep. I went 2 days last week without drinking and then I drank all weekend 
I think u coming here is a great first step
I think u coming here is a great first step
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by whiskeyman 
i know exactly what you are going thru. I am a single dad of two, son 15 and daughter 12.
Years of vodka abuse took their toll and had to get down to it. I lost so much of their life.
Aa was the only thing that worked for me, and trust me i tried everything out there. Read everything, talk to everyone, etc
it even took a while in aa but when i got serious and honest about it it caught on.
I and we are here for you.
Years of vodka abuse took their toll and had to get down to it. I lost so much of their life.
Aa was the only thing that worked for me, and trust me i tried everything out there. Read everything, talk to everyone, etc
it even took a while in aa but when i got serious and honest about it it caught on.
I and we are here for you.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Welcome SingleDaddy. I'm so glad you joined us. I hope telling your story will help you feel a little relief from your anxiety. I can understand why you've relied on alcohol to help you cope - but as you've found out, it backfires terribly.
I drank all my life - I always thought of it as a stress reliever. I never realized it was actually making my life so much harder, a huge uphill climb every day. I drank in the morning, too. Nothing says breakfast like popping open a cold one. Unlike you, I progressed to 24/7 drinking - which meant driving drunk as well. It had to end. You will get your life back on track - we know you can do it. Please keep reading and posting here. We care.
I drank all my life - I always thought of it as a stress reliever. I never realized it was actually making my life so much harder, a huge uphill climb every day. I drank in the morning, too. Nothing says breakfast like popping open a cold one.
Unlike you, I progressed to 24/7 drinking - which meant driving drunk as well. It had to end. You will get your life back on track - we know you can do it. Please keep reading and posting here. We care.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Hey SingleDaddy, good to have you posting.
I first confronted my alcoholism five years ago at the age of 37, at the time my daughter was 14 and my two sons 13 and 11. They stayed with me almost half the time and I was single, so have a sense of where you are coming from.
One thing I have learnt since is that though i could hide it from the kids, in that i would try to keep myself together the nights I had them, that my drinking still had an effect on them. Kids know more than they let on.
All I can say is that there is a life without alcohol and a solution to confront the issues of the past. High on that list was my ex wife, AA taught me to deal with her and many other things. I now have a great life and wouldn't change it for a drink, as I know where that would lead.
What i would suggest is if you can go one day without alcohol, try it tomorrow ... I say tomorrow as you have drank today. Maybe it would be wise to read the replies here again tomorrow before you pick up that first drink, which inevitably if you are like me would lead to a second, third, fourth and onwards. Just get through one day, don't worry about the next and if you get your head on that pillow getting through the day sober, that is as good as any of us can do, the next day try the same.
Try an AA meeting, you don't have to commit yourself to keep going, just try one and see if you can get something from it. You will meet like minded people, who want to live a sober life and in time you get to meet others who are in similar lifestyle situations as you. AA is anonymous and wouldn't report your name to any authority with regards to your kids, all they ask is your first name and to listen to what they have to say.
Feel free to PM anytime.
I first confronted my alcoholism five years ago at the age of 37, at the time my daughter was 14 and my two sons 13 and 11. They stayed with me almost half the time and I was single, so have a sense of where you are coming from.
One thing I have learnt since is that though i could hide it from the kids, in that i would try to keep myself together the nights I had them, that my drinking still had an effect on them. Kids know more than they let on.
All I can say is that there is a life without alcohol and a solution to confront the issues of the past. High on that list was my ex wife, AA taught me to deal with her and many other things. I now have a great life and wouldn't change it for a drink, as I know where that would lead.
What i would suggest is if you can go one day without alcohol, try it tomorrow ... I say tomorrow as you have drank today. Maybe it would be wise to read the replies here again tomorrow before you pick up that first drink, which inevitably if you are like me would lead to a second, third, fourth and onwards. Just get through one day, don't worry about the next and if you get your head on that pillow getting through the day sober, that is as good as any of us can do, the next day try the same.
Try an AA meeting, you don't have to commit yourself to keep going, just try one and see if you can get something from it. You will meet like minded people, who want to live a sober life and in time you get to meet others who are in similar lifestyle situations as you. AA is anonymous and wouldn't report your name to any authority with regards to your kids, all they ask is your first name and to listen to what they have to say.
Feel free to PM anytime.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by digderidoo
Hey SingleDaddy, good to have you posting.
I first confronted my alcoholism five years ago at the age of 37, at the time my daughter was 14 and my two sons 13 and 11. They stayed with me almost half the time and I was single, so have a sense of where you are coming from.
One thing I have learnt since is that though i could hide it from the kids, in that i would try to keep myself together the nights I had them, that my drinking still had an effect on them. Kids know more than they let on.
All I can say is that there is a life without alcohol and a solution to confront the issues of the past. High on that list was my ex wife, AA taught me to deal with her and many other things. I now have a great life and wouldn't change it for a drink, as I know where that would lead.
What i would suggest is if you can go one day without alcohol, try it tomorrow ... I say tomorrow as you have drank today. Maybe it would be wise to read the replies here again tomorrow before you pick up that first drink, which inevitably if you are like me would lead to a second, third, fourth and onwards. Just get through one day, don't worry about the next and if you get your head on that pillow getting through the day sober, that is as good as any of us can do, the next day try the same.
Try an AA meeting, you don't have to commit yourself to keep going, just try one and see if you can get something from it. You will meet like minded people, who want to live a sober life and in time you get to meet others who are in similar lifestyle situations as you. AA is anonymous and wouldn't report your name to any authority with regards to your kids, all they ask is your first name and to listen to what they have to say.
Feel free to PM anytime.
I first confronted my alcoholism five years ago at the age of 37, at the time my daughter was 14 and my two sons 13 and 11. They stayed with me almost half the time and I was single, so have a sense of where you are coming from.
One thing I have learnt since is that though i could hide it from the kids, in that i would try to keep myself together the nights I had them, that my drinking still had an effect on them. Kids know more than they let on.
All I can say is that there is a life without alcohol and a solution to confront the issues of the past. High on that list was my ex wife, AA taught me to deal with her and many other things. I now have a great life and wouldn't change it for a drink, as I know where that would lead.
What i would suggest is if you can go one day without alcohol, try it tomorrow ... I say tomorrow as you have drank today. Maybe it would be wise to read the replies here again tomorrow before you pick up that first drink, which inevitably if you are like me would lead to a second, third, fourth and onwards. Just get through one day, don't worry about the next and if you get your head on that pillow getting through the day sober, that is as good as any of us can do, the next day try the same.
Try an AA meeting, you don't have to commit yourself to keep going, just try one and see if you can get something from it. You will meet like minded people, who want to live a sober life and in time you get to meet others who are in similar lifestyle situations as you. AA is anonymous and wouldn't report your name to any authority with regards to your kids, all they ask is your first name and to listen to what they have to say.
Feel free to PM anytime.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Originally Posted by SingleDaddy
I just wish I could put this poison down for good
Re-read this thread tomorrow before you pick up that first drink and phone the AA help line for your area.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: ON
Posts: 766
SIngleDaddy
I read your notes and remember what it was like.
i lost so much time with my kids.
On the weekend I had a great moment with my daughter who is twelve now.
She took a shower and wanted me to come dry her hair.
I did and we had such a great moment in time that I know I wouldn’t have had two years ago as I would have been passed out on the couch, asleep or in the garage, looking for more.
You made the first important step and that Is reach out to someone.
I know how you feel when you say you couldn’t go to rehab either as I didn’t have anyone to take the kids.
BUT I did it. I made it thru the tough part now I am in the journey of recovery.
You can do it. as said a million times here, if I can you can. I was hopeless
I read your notes and remember what it was like.
i lost so much time with my kids.
On the weekend I had a great moment with my daughter who is twelve now.
She took a shower and wanted me to come dry her hair.
I did and we had such a great moment in time that I know I wouldn’t have had two years ago as I would have been passed out on the couch, asleep or in the garage, looking for more.
You made the first important step and that Is reach out to someone.
I know how you feel when you say you couldn’t go to rehab either as I didn’t have anyone to take the kids.
BUT I did it. I made it thru the tough part now I am in the journey of recovery.
You can do it. as said a million times here, if I can you can. I was hopeless
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: inland empire ça
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by SingleDaddy
I am a 38 year old single daddy with 15 and 12 year old daughters. I am an alchoholic. I guess a closet alkie cause most people would never know. I never drrink with them in the car, but I do (like today) take of work from time to time and drink all day. I only drink beer but I hate myself that I drink so much. My kids' mother left us 10 years ago and I was never able to recoop from it. I still miss her everyday. My girls are very active in sports as my oldest is on one of the top 5 fastpitch softball teams in the country and my 12 y.o is in Gymnastics. I dont want to drink myself to death. I wanna see my babies graduate High school.
I have tried everything to quit and actually did quit once for 4 months. I do not use drugs or smoke, but I cannot keep the beer away. I have my own fridge in my room to hide it from my kids. I drink alone as well. My side has began to hurt, not sure if its my Livier or gall bladder or just a strain (due to my work) but I need to know what the "EFF" I got to do to put this poison down.
Being a single dad I am afraid to check myself into a help center because they may take my kids. I make 6 figures and have a very successful business but I am depressed I guess and meds DONT WORK! anyone with a suggestion to help me get myself together I would appreciate. Its already 10:20 am and I am on my 3rd beer. I called my assistant in today to tell him I wasnt feeling well. I am living a hell on Earth. PLEASE HELP ME!
I have tried everything to quit and actually did quit once for 4 months. I do not use drugs or smoke, but I cannot keep the beer away. I have my own fridge in my room to hide it from my kids. I drink alone as well. My side has began to hurt, not sure if its my Livier or gall bladder or just a strain (due to my work) but I need to know what the "EFF" I got to do to put this poison down.
Being a single dad I am afraid to check myself into a help center because they may take my kids. I make 6 figures and have a very successful business but I am depressed I guess and meds DONT WORK! anyone with a suggestion to help me get myself together I would appreciate. Its already 10:20 am and I am on my 3rd beer. I called my assistant in today to tell him I wasnt feeling well. I am living a hell on Earth. PLEASE HELP ME!
Aka.. Indamiricale. :)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dr.Bob's Neighbor
Posts: 2,728
Welcome aboard 
I came into the rooms of AA at 39.. And I never recooped from my great relationship which alcohol destroyed 12 years earlier.. I miss her everyday and never grew from that time..
Until I finally just surrendered and got involved in the program was I able to truly grow up and move along in life..
Glad your here, there is a way out of your hell.. Be it AA(for me) or any of the other programs out there.. Just keep reading and posting here and pick one or two whatever , just go for it..
The only thing that can and will change is you if you take the steps to change..
Nothing changes if nothing changes.. Again welcome to a better life for you and your kids..
I came into the rooms of AA at 39.. And I never recooped from my great relationship which alcohol destroyed 12 years earlier.. I miss her everyday and never grew from that time..
Until I finally just surrendered and got involved in the program was I able to truly grow up and move along in life..
Glad your here, there is a way out of your hell.. Be it AA(for me) or any of the other programs out there.. Just keep reading and posting here and pick one or two whatever , just go for it..
The only thing that can and will change is you if you take the steps to change..
Nothing changes if nothing changes.. Again welcome to a better life for you and your kids..
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
I wanted to wish you all the best. You have to start somewhere...try tomorrow and take it one day at a time from there.
Also, my anti-anxiety/depression meds did not work when I was drinking.
Amazingly, now that I've been sober almost four months, I feel a hell of a lot better mentally and am looking forward to a much brighter future.
Get checked out by a doctor.
You can do this. Stay close to the folks on here--incredibly valuable resource and source of support.
Also, my anti-anxiety/depression meds did not work when I was drinking.
Amazingly, now that I've been sober almost four months, I feel a hell of a lot better mentally and am looking forward to a much brighter future.
Get checked out by a doctor.
You can do this. Stay close to the folks on here--incredibly valuable resource and source of support.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Welcome. I grew up with alcoholic parents, they thought I didn't know the extent of their drinking, and maybe at first I didn't, but I did know all about their emotional absence in my life and I'm still deeply affected now at 38 years old. I'm also an alcoholic, been sober for a little over 4 years now, and though incredibly difficult it'll be the best thing you ever do in your life.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
My story is similar to some of the guys here - got into AA when I was 40, had put my child second to my poison vodka, abandoning him in the car, at home, etc. just so I could get my next fix. Drove drunk with him in the back seat many times. Arrested the last time. Through working the steps of AA and clearing the wreckage of my past, I too had to come to know that I wasn't a bad father, but in my alcoholism I made poor choices. My family suffered. Self-forgiveness is a very powerful thing. If I continued to lock myself in a cage of not forgiving myself, not thinking I was a good enough dad, I wouldn't be able to move forward and become the great father that I was meant to be, and am.
It doesn't have to be this way, and as mentioned, you can try a meeting. You will find other men like you and I, who have gone through that, and can guide you through what you can do. Your children are not damaged for good, and neither are you.
We're here for you, kind sir
It doesn't have to be this way, and as mentioned, you can try a meeting. You will find other men like you and I, who have gone through that, and can guide you through what you can do. Your children are not damaged for good, and neither are you.
We're here for you, kind sir
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi SingleDaddy - welcome
there's some great advice here
with regards the meds - it's very true that drinking on them is probably nullifying the effect...it's also true that alcohol is itself a depressant.
The thing I love most about recovery is being able to look at myself in the eyes in the mirror again.
I've rediscovered the real me.
I think you deserve to do that too
D
there's some great advice here
with regards the meds - it's very true that drinking on them is probably nullifying the effect...it's also true that alcohol is itself a depressant.
The thing I love most about recovery is being able to look at myself in the eyes in the mirror again.
I've rediscovered the real me.
I think you deserve to do that too
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: west bend wis
Posts: 57
I can understand why you've relied on alcohol to help you cope - but as you've found out, it backfires terribly.Quote from Hevyn.
Its been a habit for you to drink to cope.Get help my friend!Its out there if you desire it.Your kids wont have you for long if you keep it up the way you are.
Do it for them,PLEASE.We cant do it alone.Believe that.
Its been a habit for you to drink to cope.Get help my friend!Its out there if you desire it.Your kids wont have you for long if you keep it up the way you are.
Do it for them,PLEASE.We cant do it alone.Believe that.
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