show2014

I need an expert in recovery to talk to me, and not a doctor that has studied addiction, although, I will not shut anybody out, I want someone who has been through the worst of addiction, and has recovered themselves, that can help me, I am a very intelligent, arrogant, <arrogent, spoiled addict, that is in need of help, I guess I can get into details, when I see there is someone that I don't, know that is willing to deal with me, this is a cry for help I just cant ask my friends or family, because they have been through enough, I dont want someone who is going to call 911 or emergency services, because I have done that before, and the fire trucks, and police showed up at my front door and embarassaed my family, this is classic addiction attention attention attention, talk to me if you want to

Dee74

You'll find a lot of people to talk to here kshow
welcome back to SR - how can we help?

D

show2014

im am just cringing, I am screaming with rage!!

Dee74

what about, kshow?

D

HappyDestiny3

I am certainly no expert, but have walked a pretty long road of addiction, and now a pretty healthy recovery program..

I skip to the end of my drinking.. I was 39 in jail , hallucinating from detox and running head first into the cell wall trying to kill myself.. Didnt know it. Woke up in the ICU days later with wet brain.. Detoxed made it out the hospital and went right to the bar and the crack pipe.

I have lost everything due to drinking and drugging except my life..

Until I took what was left of this miserable body, mind, and soul. To my first AA meeting.

Then the road started. It was not a pretty easy road, I slipped up many times over my first year and half of trying to get sober.. But I everytime I drank I got back up and back to a meeting..

I am not sure what you want. But you can stop in the chat room here till tomorrow. but if you dont think you can even stay clean till you get to a meeting.. I suggest you look at getting into a rehab.. There are always ones that will take you with or without the ability to pay..

HappyDestiny3

sorry was typing , i see your here talking.

what is driving you so nuts?

show2014

I just think I needed to vent a little, but I have a problem with myself, and I am realizing it was me the whole time

HappyDestiny3

well vent away that is very healthy...

And great start , realizing that its you.. Because all of us alcoholics and addicts.. Can't begin and recovery without that...

Everything we have done is of our own making..

show2014

I dont even know if I have the strength left to get off of opiates<<<<<<<<i know i do im in so much paiin I am crying profusely, I am an IV user , i just feel like I m am at the end , Im cutting myself , all I think about is shooting myself ANHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHhhh is what I think

show2014

Is that I am in love,

show2014

I am starting to hear voices in my head, I did meth a month ago, and its almost like I can hear my thoughts

HappyDestiny3

I am sorry you are where you are.. But there is a way out of this pain and sadness..

Your not alone !!!!

If you don't think you have the strength, why don't we think about treatment and a center. I will help you find one to check into..

You just have to be willing to stay.. We can help you be free..

show2014

i am schizophrenic

HappyDestiny3

And you where diagnosed by a doctor and on meds for this ?

Or you think you are , and your going crazy ?

HappyDestiny3

I hope you stick around here and keep reading and posting....

And in the mean time, I hope you do some serious thinking about getting some good help from a center..

...

show2014

qq

show2014

I make stupid mistakes

show2014

I think its better that I do this alone and dont take anybody with me

show2014

this is all about attention, isnt it thats what addiction is about im am not going to bring someone I care about with me to the depths of hell

show2014

i am upset gdnuted