help
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2
help
not sure this is the right section
but anyway
my mothers been drinking relatively heavily for about 4-5 years, she has been through quite a lot to be fair however, i feel that her drinking is certainly hurting me and i cant imagine how much its hurting her body, she drinks roughly a bottle of wine a night, give or take which i personally believe is far too much this makes her relatively drunk every single night. Although she is not violent its hurts me to see her like this and its constant. Recently over the last year ive been confronting her and have since come under scrutiny from other members of my family such as brother and aunt and ( dad died which is a cause of alcoholism i believe as she feels very lonely) its as if im the only one who cares anymore...
i want to get her help but im not sure what to do, she always denys shes an alcoholic and when i confront her she leaves the room and cry's which in turn gets me a shouting from my older brother. Recently we made a deal of no drinking on the weekdays, However, she ive caught her sneaking wine in water glasses and hiding bottles.
What can i do,
REHAB?
were relatively wealthy so i suppose a clinic wouldnt be impossible but im 17 so its up to her really and she denys it?
but anyway
my mothers been drinking relatively heavily for about 4-5 years, she has been through quite a lot to be fair however, i feel that her drinking is certainly hurting me and i cant imagine how much its hurting her body, she drinks roughly a bottle of wine a night, give or take which i personally believe is far too much this makes her relatively drunk every single night. Although she is not violent its hurts me to see her like this and its constant. Recently over the last year ive been confronting her and have since come under scrutiny from other members of my family such as brother and aunt and ( dad died which is a cause of alcoholism i believe as she feels very lonely) its as if im the only one who cares anymore...
i want to get her help but im not sure what to do, she always denys shes an alcoholic and when i confront her she leaves the room and cry's which in turn gets me a shouting from my older brother. Recently we made a deal of no drinking on the weekdays, However, she ive caught her sneaking wine in water glasses and hiding bottles.
What can i do,
REHAB?
were relatively wealthy so i suppose a clinic wouldnt be impossible but im 17 so its up to her really and she denys it?
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
I am sorry you are in such a painful situation.
As a mother who is an alcoholic I can say that one of the things that had a profound affect on my deciding I needed to get sober was my children. They were teenagers at the time. Unfortunately, I am not sure that it was anything in particular that they did although I can distinctly remember my oldest daughter begging me not to drink anytime I would leave the house.
What did happen for me was somehow I came to the conclusion that my drinking was a slow suicide that not only was killing me but was killing everyone who loved me, which included my children. It was in that moment that I realized I needed help as I had no idea how to live life and deal with all that comes with it without drinking and I really did not want to die and cause my children more pain. That was when I reached out to someone in AA.
It will be 12 years next month since I reached out for help and I have not had to drink since. There is hope for your mother. As far as what to do I wish I had an answer but I don't think it was anything that my children did that brought me to that realization. You can call your local AA hotline and see if they can send some people out to do what is called an intervention with your mother. It is when they sit down with your mother and share their stories with her one alcoholic to another. For many it is the first time they actually feel understood and feel there is hope. That would be the only thing I can think of right off hand to suggest.
I wish you the best.
As a mother who is an alcoholic I can say that one of the things that had a profound affect on my deciding I needed to get sober was my children. They were teenagers at the time. Unfortunately, I am not sure that it was anything in particular that they did although I can distinctly remember my oldest daughter begging me not to drink anytime I would leave the house.
What did happen for me was somehow I came to the conclusion that my drinking was a slow suicide that not only was killing me but was killing everyone who loved me, which included my children. It was in that moment that I realized I needed help as I had no idea how to live life and deal with all that comes with it without drinking and I really did not want to die and cause my children more pain. That was when I reached out to someone in AA.
It will be 12 years next month since I reached out for help and I have not had to drink since. There is hope for your mother. As far as what to do I wish I had an answer but I don't think it was anything that my children did that brought me to that realization. You can call your local AA hotline and see if they can send some people out to do what is called an intervention with your mother. It is when they sit down with your mother and share their stories with her one alcoholic to another. For many it is the first time they actually feel understood and feel there is hope. That would be the only thing I can think of right off hand to suggest.
I wish you the best.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: minnesota
Posts: 272
Hey jdude....first i want to say how blessed your mom is to have such a caring son! your concern and love for her is touching. losing your dad, i understand that you sure don't want to lose your mom, and maybe that could be a good way to approach it? i dont know...also what about grief counseling for your mom? or maybe even for both of you? i wish i had better advice. some people get a lot out of al-anon, or maybe specifically counseling for adult children of alcoholics? God bless you and your mom and best wishes to you both.
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