Can anyone tell me what a "dry drunk" is??
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
The whole host of existential problems such as lack of meaning and purpose in life, general dissatisifaction with life, restless, irritable and discontent and all the associated anxieties and depressions plague a big chunk of the 7 billion people on the planet. Many never touched a substance in their lives. To just label those things "untreated alcoholism", "dry drunks" or whatever can be very misleading, even in the context of a structured program.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by ChildinDarkness 
A dry drunk is someone who is dealing with untreated alcoholism.
That is just my point of view.
That is just my point of view.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 53
Originally Posted by ChildinDarkness
A dry drunk is someone who is dealing with untreated alcoholism.
We can stop drinking. Then we have the ism.
This is the part we all have that wants to continually take us back to a drink using any situation.
The dry drunk is someone who has white knuckled it and stopped drinking without understanding the reason they are drinking in the first place.
So if someone is a dry drunk, it basically means they have not done the steps.
Doing the steps, treats the ism. It usually happens at steps 4 & 5.
A friend of mine who was sober for 9 years was completely bonkers he was running about doing all sorts of things - It was his realization that brought him to the steps and he has been peaceful, joyous and free another 9 years since doing the steps with no mental chatter trying to play with him because he realizes this ism.
That is just my point of view.
We can stop drinking. Then we have the ism.
This is the part we all have that wants to continually take us back to a drink using any situation.
The dry drunk is someone who has white knuckled it and stopped drinking without understanding the reason they are drinking in the first place.
So if someone is a dry drunk, it basically means they have not done the steps.
Doing the steps, treats the ism. It usually happens at steps 4 & 5.
A friend of mine who was sober for 9 years was completely bonkers he was running about doing all sorts of things - It was his realization that brought him to the steps and he has been peaceful, joyous and free another 9 years since doing the steps with no mental chatter trying to play with him because he realizes this ism.
That is just my point of view.
As I'm sure you more than know, they work for some folks, but not for others. Everybody's recovery is different and we are all different. Some folk find terms like 'dry drunk' and 'alcoholic' very unhelpful to recovery. Such terms are hindrances if anything to some folk and their recovery.
Sorry to go on ; ) just my tupence worth
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 42
Higher power
You are never alone when you have a higher power.
I think the best place to start is in the book.
It tells you everything in there.
Also good to get a sponsor who can take you through the book.
Then you have the tools which deals with the ism.
You are no longer a person who is inexperienced of the tortures of this disease because you have been taught how to combat it hence, you are not living without the knowledge of how our heads work.
Hence you are not dry..
You are a recovered alcoholic, that deals with your head on a day to day basis 24 hours one foot in front of the other and not living in the past or future.
Living conscious with the beauty of knowing you are loved.
Peace love and respect.
I think the best place to start is in the book.
It tells you everything in there.
Also good to get a sponsor who can take you through the book.
Then you have the tools which deals with the ism.
You are no longer a person who is inexperienced of the tortures of this disease because you have been taught how to combat it hence, you are not living without the knowledge of how our heads work.
Hence you are not dry..
You are a recovered alcoholic, that deals with your head on a day to day basis 24 hours one foot in front of the other and not living in the past or future.
Living conscious with the beauty of knowing you are loved.
Peace love and respect.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 42
Depression
I somehow stumbled on to "depression", I am entirely humble however ego does surface.
It went like this "depression" is purely ego based because if you are "depressed" it means that you want something that you don't have.
When I saw sadness in that manner it showed me that my self centred ego was in play and when I accepted that.... I now don't suffer that. It has removed this from me. If it comes to creep in, I see it for what it is and it dissipates
That was Awesome!!!
Depression - seeking - lost - gone - I want??
Now it is "We" - us - love - accept - nurture - growth - allow - found
I hope that makes sense to someone........... x
It went like this "depression" is purely ego based because if you are "depressed" it means that you want something that you don't have.
When I saw sadness in that manner it showed me that my self centred ego was in play and when I accepted that.... I now don't suffer that. It has removed this from me. If it comes to creep in, I see it for what it is and it dissipates
That was Awesome!!!
Depression - seeking - lost - gone - I want??
Now it is "We" - us - love - accept - nurture - growth - allow - found
I hope that makes sense to someone........... x
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
I needed to acknowledge that I was a dry drunk yesterday.SR is proving itself to me to be an oasis of understanding. I can reflect on my stormy mindset yesterday and once again have it affirmed that I can get through these things without drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
Thanks everyone!!!!
I really, really appreciate all of the responses that everyone has given.
I'm also super glad that I brought up this thread. It's been something rolling around in my head for years actually. I definitely have a much greater understanding of the subject.
Thanks again everyone!!!
I'm also super glad that I brought up this thread. It's been something rolling around in my head for years actually. I definitely have a much greater understanding of the subject.
Thanks again everyone!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Elizabeth,NJ
Posts: 13
In simple terms a "dry drunk" is someone that thinks quitting alcohol is the only solution to a happy productive life. Being sober is only half the battle. One has to retrace their steps and see why they started to begin with. Unfortunately alcoholics/drug addict had problems prior to their abuse which was never addressed. The drug abuse made the brain chemistry change; as a result, rewiring your reward system of the brain.It takes a lot of will and hard work to stay sober and pin point what ones issues are(OCD, anxiety, trauma, depression). You have to find the right path with AA or other means.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I was a super productive drunk! I traveled all over the place, went camping, went to lectures and museums and events, exercised all the time, held down a super high-pressure job, made art...
Going through my first few weeks sober has me super tired and off balance. I watch Netflix all the time. And eat snacks. And play games. Couch potato central.
So if "dry drunk" is acting like a drunk while not drinking... sign me up! lol. Just kidding, just kidding. But I do think it sounds like an overly general term considering the variety of experiences that we all bring to our interpretations of it.
Going through my first few weeks sober has me super tired and off balance. I watch Netflix all the time. And eat snacks. And play games. Couch potato central.
So if "dry drunk" is acting like a drunk while not drinking... sign me up! lol. Just kidding, just kidding. But I do think it sounds like an overly general term considering the variety of experiences that we all bring to our interpretations of it.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
To me, today, when I call myself a dry drunk I talk about a me who thinks I have travelled far enough. I forget my child hood dream of following the railroad track into the mist to see what there is beyond. Beyond is more mist. When I think I have arrived and then realise I haven't, it is then that I can say I may have been a dry drunk for a while. So, I pick up my swag and keep walking towards that mist.
If you're young, I highly recommend taking the express and get towards the end while you still have many years to enjoy.
btw, thank you sincerely, Robby, sometimes you seem to have come up with just the thing to get me somewhat back on track. Thank you.
If you're young, I highly recommend taking the express and get towards the end while you still have many years to enjoy.
btw, thank you sincerely, Robby, sometimes you seem to have come up with just the thing to get me somewhat back on track. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Personal opinion here... I find it offensive and unhelpful. The thought of not giving yourself credit for quitting alcohol when you are feeling down or unstable seems like a recipe for drinking again. Thats why the term gets under my skin... I quit. I had problems before alcohol and I sure as heck have them after. Calling myself "dry drunk" gets me no closer to solving them. And if someone called me a dry drunk, that would be the last thing they ever said to me or at least the last thing I listen to.
OP, thanks for the post. Very good conversation here.
OP, thanks for the post. Very good conversation here.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
The sensations you are having are good to recognise. Strong ones like offense and anger and morbidity. For me they often presage a transformation. Just don't let it become a reason to drink.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
No way Grymt
been through a lot in 9 months. Some real ups and downs...things I definitely would have used as an excuse to drink in the past. It's just no longer an option. I live it and get through with new coping skills and the help of my SR pals. Still a work in progress though.
been through a lot in 9 months. Some real ups and downs...things I definitely would have used as an excuse to drink in the past. It's just no longer an option. I live it and get through with new coping skills and the help of my SR pals. Still a work in progress though.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 430
Thanks for this thread -- I've been thinking about it too as my husband is currently not using, but is "irritable, discontent, and ___________" some other phrase I heard at an open AA meeting.
He also engages in hours of video game playing and overeating sweets like tubs of ice cream and packages of cookies in two days.
I think he's just kind of white-knuckling it sometimes through these periods - and then eventually he can't sustain it anymore and breaks down and uses something again.
So he's not using, but he's not enjoying a life of sobriety. And eventually he will get discontent enough that he goes for using again.
This is the cycle I'm starting to see...
Thank you for this thread and for sharing. xo
He also engages in hours of video game playing and overeating sweets like tubs of ice cream and packages of cookies in two days.
I think he's just kind of white-knuckling it sometimes through these periods - and then eventually he can't sustain it anymore and breaks down and uses something again.
So he's not using, but he's not enjoying a life of sobriety. And eventually he will get discontent enough that he goes for using again.
This is the cycle I'm starting to see...
Thank you for this thread and for sharing. xo
High on Life
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Been to Hell and Back
Posts: 1,157
To me it's one of those terms that people use to measure their level of sobriety in AA. Why can't somebody just be in a bad mood? Life isn't always about running in the field with flowers in your head. You have your ups and downs, it's learning to accept life for what it is. Take the good with the bad. No need to waste time with invented labels. As long as the person isn't putting alcohol in their body, I'm sure they are still much better off.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Uk
Posts: 764
Hiya Peanut44,
I think that a 'dry drunk is an alcoholic whom has given up the alcohol but still has strong cravings for it n may not have gone through the recovery stage.
I found this for you Dry Drunk - Dry Drunk Syndrome hope that helps you.
All the best,
Evey xxxxxxxx
I think that a 'dry drunk is an alcoholic whom has given up the alcohol but still has strong cravings for it n may not have gone through the recovery stage.
I found this for you Dry Drunk - Dry Drunk Syndrome hope that helps you.
All the best,
Evey
xxxxxxxx
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