Gods hand
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
Gods hand
I was having cravings today real bad so I said a prayer to god and the serenity prayer to help me get through them. I called two people no one picked up the phone. At one point the craving got so bad I stood with the nyquil bottle in my hand for 15 minutes opened it ready to take a drink when suddenly this voice told me to throw the whole nyquil bottle down the drain and I did. My higher power intervened and helped. Well someone called me back and i ended up talking to her for a long time. I told my sponsor about it later. Im going to ask my mom to hide her lorazepam pills from me. I almost took those. Im 9 months sober and it is still hard eventhough I am working the steps. I still feel empty on the inside and worthless and lonely. Im still trying to figure out who I am. The person gave me an idea today to write a letter to god and I did that.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Sober State
Posts: 1,126
A good book I read that really helped me feel worthy of love again was Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson. You can find a used copy on Amazon.
You are not worthless. Your addiction wants you to believe that so you'll give in.
You were strong & 9 months is fantastic!!!
I encourage you to check it out. Blessings to you.
You are not worthless. Your addiction wants you to believe that so you'll give in.
You were strong & 9 months is fantastic!!!
I encourage you to check it out. Blessings to you.
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
A good book I read that really helped me feel worthy of love again was Victory over the Darkness by Neil Anderson. You can find a used copy on Amazon.
You are not worthless. Your addiction wants you to believe that so you'll give in.
You were strong & 9 months is fantastic!!!
I encourage you to check it out. Blessings to you.
You are not worthless. Your addiction wants you to believe that so you'll give in.
You were strong & 9 months is fantastic!!!
I encourage you to check it out. Blessings to you.
You've heard of the 9th step promises, and those of the tenth. They seem to be what you are looking for, but to get them you must crack on with the steps. If you have fully understood the first step, you will know what it means to have no choice.
9th step promises:
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."
And 10th step:"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition."
Sounds wonderful, and it is! These promises kick in when we are working these steps and not before.
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