Relapsed today feel horrible
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: inland empire ça
Posts: 71
Relapsed today feel horrible
I drank this evening and feel terrible.. I didnt get outta control as usual but i still put alcohol in my body.. I didn't drink alot like i usually would and it feels even worse this time.. I cant believe i did it.. So much support on here AA and i still drink.. Im so disgusted with my self..
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Well posting about it is a great start, bnmbh.
Looking back, I think the most dangerous relapses were the ones where nothing bad happened. They reinforced that stubborn fantasy that somehow, someday, I might magically become a happy, healthy, moderate drinker. The bad relapses at least helped demonstrate why that was bunk.
Either way, you're not the first person to relapse. You're not even the only person posting about a relapse on SR tonight. What would you say to them? Would you think they should be disgusted themselves? I bet you'd tell them they did a good job, hopping off that train so quickly.
That was then, this is now. Now is all that matters, and right now you're doing exactly what you need to do. Nice work.
Looking back, I think the most dangerous relapses were the ones where nothing bad happened. They reinforced that stubborn fantasy that somehow, someday, I might magically become a happy, healthy, moderate drinker. The bad relapses at least helped demonstrate why that was bunk.
Either way, you're not the first person to relapse. You're not even the only person posting about a relapse on SR tonight. What would you say to them? Would you think they should be disgusted themselves? I bet you'd tell them they did a good job, hopping off that train so quickly.
That was then, this is now. Now is all that matters, and right now you're doing exactly what you need to do. Nice work.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
many of us had a false start or two bnmbh...the race is not over - this is just one fo the first hurdles....
pick yourself up, dust yourself off and work out what else you need to do to make this stick.
You can do this
D
pick yourself up, dust yourself off and work out what else you need to do to make this stick.
You can do this
D
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: inland empire ça
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by trailrunrbyday 
I agree - be wary but don't beat yourself up. You are surrounded by people struggling day to day, hour to hour and you are not alone. Take a deep breath, and go for it again.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Sounds like you are on track. Countless times I relapsed after swearing myself off I would find an excuse to pick up a drink think I could control it this time and drink like a normal person, moderate and enjoy the privilege. Never worked out that way. I never felt sad or regretful picking up a drink only did so terribly the next day. Your head is in the right space bnmbh, you have fallen off the beam is all. Now get back up and put one foot in front of the other, you will get through.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
BTW - whenever I get a HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) moment or feel like a drink I get mindful, calm down and drop the urge or pick up my "pocket sponsor" (I don't have a real one) and randomly pick a page. Good book, makes you think and laugh.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Relapse is a normal part of recovery for I'd venture to guess, 90% of addicts & alkies.
Relapse is common - I went back to drinking hundreds of times...but relapse was a part of my addiction, not a part of my recovery.
D
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble
Looking back, I think the most dangerous relapses were the ones where nothing bad happened. They reinforced that stubborn fantasy that somehow, someday, I might magically become a happy, healthy, moderate drinker. The bad relapses at least helped demonstrate why that was bunk.
Relapse is not part of recovery, but it's sometimes on the path to recovery. Some of us have a few hiccups before marching on that path for good and all.
You're here and you're back...many don't come back at all.
Stick around...we need you
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: inland empire ça
Posts: 71
Originally Posted by robgt350
hay Bro
you can do it, just keep it up
you can do it, just keep it up
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 249
Thanks for this. Lately I've been struggling myself and I can only imagine how much grieve and shame I would feel if I were to relapse again (even if I was happy initially). I know I would feel it if I went back out.
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