dont know who I am or where I belong
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
dont know who I am or where I belong
Im starting to discover the real me and where I belong but im feeling so frustrated these days because I cant do all of these cool things sober through meetup.com and my glbt group. I want to find my niche where I belong but my parents wont let me go anywhere. I understand I betrayed their trust but I have 9 months sober. I feel like everyone deserves a second chance. My feelings were hurt today because my dad didnt congratulate me today. My sponsor invites me to hang with her friends sometimes especially today but I dont want to go and become dependent upon her. I feel so frustrated Im trying to find a job and become more independent and I am still being treated like a child. Sorry if this sounds whiney I just needed to vent. My brother says he is going to help me find a job give me tips and interview skills to practice. Next month where I volunteer at I am going to be a mentor to a younger teenager at the Matthews House. Also they want me to teach a cooking class to the teenagers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, Anoronha.
You sound like a motivated and thoughtful young person! Hopefully your parents will begin to see that you're earning their trust. Have you approached them about it? The way you're explaining it right now sounds quite reasonable.
I'd add that at least for me, being able to explore new things actually helped solidify my recovery. I think it's important to not just eliminate drinking/using, but to fill that time with positive activities. Maybe your parents would understand that if it was explained in a calm way. Maybe you could also propose a small step, like perhaps start with a couple hours a night, one day a week?
If it helps, it sounds to me like you're now dealing with the kinds of issues that face many healthy, perfectly normal teens and their parents. I know it always makes me feel better to realize that the problems I face these days are part of life, not addiction—and to me that in itself is a big improvement.
Congrats on nine months—that's fantastic!
You sound like a motivated and thoughtful young person! Hopefully your parents will begin to see that you're earning their trust. Have you approached them about it? The way you're explaining it right now sounds quite reasonable.
I'd add that at least for me, being able to explore new things actually helped solidify my recovery. I think it's important to not just eliminate drinking/using, but to fill that time with positive activities. Maybe your parents would understand that if it was explained in a calm way. Maybe you could also propose a small step, like perhaps start with a couple hours a night, one day a week?
If it helps, it sounds to me like you're now dealing with the kinds of issues that face many healthy, perfectly normal teens and their parents. I know it always makes me feel better to realize that the problems I face these days are part of life, not addiction—and to me that in itself is a big improvement.
Congrats on nine months—that's fantastic!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Calif
Posts: 757
hello Anorohha
i had the same thoughts as you did also. i lost contact with my old friends during drinking and dont have many now. seems like i forgot what i like to do for fun, and who i like to do it with. you have 9 months sober COngratulations,,, you an be a very positive influence on others with that accomplishment.
i liked your cooking idea. some one told me cooking can be very therapeutic. so i looked at cooking sites and try different dishes. only problem is i gained little bit weight. with your sobriety,, i am sure you will be a positive mentor to a teen in need.
i had the same thoughts as you did also. i lost contact with my old friends during drinking and dont have many now. seems like i forgot what i like to do for fun, and who i like to do it with. you have 9 months sober COngratulations,,, you an be a very positive influence on others with that accomplishment.
i liked your cooking idea. some one told me cooking can be very therapeutic. so i looked at cooking sites and try different dishes. only problem is i gained little bit weight. with your sobriety,, i am sure you will be a positive mentor to a teen in need.
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Congrats on 9 months!
The idea of volunteering is great - that's service work right there (service doesn't have to be making coffee at a meeting, necessarily). The cooking thing is great.
Trust is something that needs time to build. Your parents may or may not be "fair", but as long as you keep your recovery first, things will come. Just not on your time, unfortunately. It may be hard to stretch your wings when you feel they are being clipped. I am still in the process of finding my true self, but it reveals itself slowly. Trying new things is a wonderful way to get to that, and to experience life in a sober way.
The idea of volunteering is great - that's service work right there (service doesn't have to be making coffee at a meeting, necessarily). The cooking thing is great.
Trust is something that needs time to build. Your parents may or may not be "fair", but as long as you keep your recovery first, things will come. Just not on your time, unfortunately. It may be hard to stretch your wings when you feel they are being clipped. I am still in the process of finding my true self, but it reveals itself slowly. Trying new things is a wonderful way to get to that, and to experience life in a sober way.
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