behindblueyes

I posted a while back about driving someone to work who is in sober living. I started a new job not knowing there is drug use in the plant where I work. I do not use drugs but it concerns me.

The real issue for me is that I met someone who lives in sober living. He was granted an "all night pass?" and tonight told me he was walking around town bored. He claims he had 6 months sobriety but I think he lied about that. I was concerned about him because he was repeating himself in texts so I asked where he was and said I would pick him up.

He demanded to go to a bar and said he wasn't there to drink. He seemed restless and started texting on his phone. Within 10 mins he said he had to go for another walk and disappeared for the rest of the night.

He texted me he was going to go do drugs. Said he was very sorry and didn't want me involved. I begged him not to. I don't know about the drug scene but as I understand when he goes back to his halfway house he will be hit with a drug test? I also have to see this man Monday at work. I don't think this job is stable for me as I am closer to sobriety from alcohol than ever and he was drunk when I picked him up.

We sit next to each other at work.

What do you all think? I know I am never driving him to work or letting him in my car again but he had 6 months under his belt and threw it all away. I told him my ringer is on but I won't go bail him out again. As far as my job goes, I think I need out but jobs are hard to come by. Help?

CrossFox

It seems to me that you don't have to up and quit your source of income because of the behavior of your co worker. I don't have much info but you could request to be reassigned to a different area / seat at work, without having to explain. Also you could firmly, briefly explain your reasons for not giving rides to this coworker friend. He'll respect you as much as a drug addict can, and you'll respect yourself.


If it were me:

1) pray to higher power for guidance, wisdom, providence daily

2) bone up on identifying, stating and enforcing personal, specific boundaries

3) practice those boundaries with your co worker friend while you

4) secure a better paying, all around better job / school sitation while

5) continuing to attend support group meetings


But that's just me. Good luck.

behindblueyes

Thank you. I am happy to say also I was able to remain sober while he ran around the bar making a fool of himself before running out. He goes to AA meetings every day, I can't imagine what triggered him.

ricmcc

As you likely know, not everyone who goes to AA has reached sobriety yet (not to knock AA in the least, or any other recovery group), some people take longer to get sober, and sadly, there are some who never do. As to your work, I really can't comment without knowing more about your work, but I can say that a co-workers drinking would never have caused me to quit work. The suggestion that Crossfox made about altering your work environment seems quite reasonable to me----best of luck to you, rick

Sasha4

No don't quit your job.

Most work situations have a small element of people who will drink and take drugs.
In most work situations, there are opportunities to drink/pressure to drink. Its a part of grown up life and we have to get used to it and find ways to handle it.

If I were you, I would ask to have a quiet word with him and say that from now on you would rather he not text you in his 'hour of need'.

Without wanting to offend, he does sound a bit childish. How old is he?

Nevertheless

In order to stay sober we have to learn to solve our problems without drinking.
If you go to another job,another situation will no doubt happen.
It sounds to me like you are getting a bit more involved with this guy than just work. Whatever the case I think you would be better off telling him to "just go away" I need this job,and you are making it difficult for me.
I think you need a "take charge" attitude.
It's your job. You didn't screw up. He did.
It's your sobriety. You didn't screw up he did.
In order to stay sober YOUR sobriety comes first. It HAS to.
All you have to do is do the right things yourself. Others will do as they wish,and you can only do so much to change them. If they don't care. It's simply time to let them go.
I wish you the best.
Fred

behindblueyes

He is in his early 30s. I woke up to a text this morning saying he needed another ride home but also needed me to "get him something" first. I ignored it. I am thinking of how to word this but I am going to tell him later that he is never welcome in my car again and I am not his taxi for drugs.

I don't even know why he thinks I would want to be in a drug dealing situation.

As for work, I approve his work so we are in contact all day. I am absolutely sick over seeing him at work tomorrow. I was having a hard time with going back to work already (anxiety disorder and panic attacks) and am trying to figure out how to keep it together with all this going on.

Dee74

The advice to move to another part of your work, and to let this guy know your unbreakable boundaries, is a good one BBE.

D

behindblueyes

Well, he called off and lied to my boss about being in the hospital throwing up blood. Then he lied to me about it because I called the ER (I used to work there) and asked if he was admitted and they said they had absolutely no record of his name.

Him not showing up for work and another call-off set me back and set my boss off. It started a screaming match in the office which happens a lot but I just couldn't take it today for some reason. I put my letter of resignation in and left.

There are two rooms in this office and about ten people. There was no way to avoid him and his lies. As soon as I got into work everyone was asking me where he was, saying I should know and in my face. My parents and friends are putting me down for being unemployed once again but I don't care. I refuse to work with a plant full of drunks (yes drunk and high while on the job). It's not healthy for me right now.

elihoping

If it was a threat to your recovery, then you did the right thing.

behindblueyes

Thanks. I just have to avoid relapse now that I am depressed over another job loss. Three in a year. It usually triggers self hate.

I wondered why I would sit outside his sober house and he wouldn't even be out of bed yet I would be ready for work. I heard he got kicked out and has nowhere to stay. Not my problem anymore.

pluginjug

Every workplace likely has drug users and heavy drinkers. You can't go about your life avoiding it because you'll never leave your home. Swapping jobs isn't the answer. Chances are because you're in recovery you notice and perhaps gravitate toward the addicts. Surely there are many non-addicts in your workplace.

You certainly don't have to put yourself in jeopardy by going to bars with co-workers, but you don't have to quit a job on account of addicts/heavy drinkers in the workplace.

behindblueyes

This was the kind of place where you would walk to the back and someone would be smoking weed. Then they would offer you drugs right on the spot. I understand that people drink and such but this was an on-the-job dealing and selling environment.