haribo158

What are some of the best ways to counter the excuses we invent for drinking? I myself (and I'm sure some of you) am excellent at thinking of absolutely any excuse, while I've written a list and posted it on my wall with all the benefits of not drinking/negatives of drinking, I still find it's easy to come up with a reason to ignore them,
For example my friend (who doesn't know my problem with drink) gave me 2 crates of beer last night as thanks for a favour, I want to throw them away but the little devil on my shoulder says, but that's a waste/it's rude/you'll just end up buying more anyway...
And there's a new excuse for every 100 reasons not to drink, how can I counter this?
Thanks for any advice!

Dee74

I think you get to a point where you finally accept that your relationship with alcohol is a bad one and it's not getting better.

There's no power on earth that could make me accept a couple of cartons of beer now because I know where they would lead me.

Maybe try and think about that yourself...push past the rosy nostalgia that we can all have about alcohol..and force yourself to remember the real consequences of your drinking.

D

Threshold

Sounds like you might really benefit from AVRT. Instead of carrying around a little black book of excuses, it teaches you how to just stop engaging with that voice at all. Arguing with it often just encourages it.

Until then, simply calling BS on it and continuing on your recovery path is a pretty good option. If someone gives me a gift I don't like or can't use. I get rid of it. Alcohol is no diff. People offer me pills. I refuse them...I refuse credit card offers, phone solicitors and candy from strangers too.

A classic addict behavior is to kid ourselves into thinking that booze/drugs are in a magical category where the regular rules of smart living don't apply.

We castrate the monster when we call BS on it and see it for what it is. A lie.

Grymt

What are some of the best ways to counter the excuses we invent for drinking?

- If I'm an alcoholic (which I am) the rational thing is to not drink. Once I don't drink I have to deal with life as it is. That, in my experience, is the hard part.
If I drink it is because I have come up against something that my skill set in the moment proves insufficient.
I don't drink. If I can't, in the moment, deal with the consequences it is sufficient for me to acknowledge that and to use resources that have shown themselves to me to hold answers.
For me the best way to counter excuses is to recognise them.

Boleo

The same question I ask myself when I see a new commercial or advertisement:

"How delusional is that?"

AlisonW

I find it helps to "Play the tape all the way through" as they say - that one cold beer or relaxing glass of wine inevitably turns into way too much, bad hangovers, guilt, regret, making a fool of myself, feeling ashamed, getting arrested, hurting myself, blackouts, tears...

hypochondriac

I think that shows a lack of faith in yourself. If you are trying to stay sober why would you buy more? Try and counter negative thoughts about your ability to stay sober with positive ones

For me having to counter every excuse would have been too time consuming and tiring. Once I had really committed to never drinking again I had no choice but to dismiss all the excuses. I think you'd benefit from looking into AVRT too x

instant

The pros and cons lists are built on rationality. It is a good idea to do this to get it clear in our mind that drinking is a bad idea. Problem is we use our emotions as reasoning tools and the rational notions go go the window. I learnt this the traditional way by falling into my own holes I had fallen into on previous occasions.

The good news is I came to realize that the above issues were never going to change and that led me to surrender finally.

David10

I just tell myself this is only my brain craving dopamine that gets released when I use alcohol. I do not want this I want to be drug free and happy.

DIYman

One line of reasoning I use for when I feel I *need* a drink is that I can't believe any of us were born into the world with an in-built requirement to need alcohol to function (I think this would work equally well for creationists, evolutionists and intelligent designists).

When my mind tries to counter that and say how enjoyable it used to be, I then actually agree that it was that way once in the early days when one or two really did mean that but now having just one would lead both practically and philosophically straight back to the need argument above.

CharlieNoogan

For the alcoholic, active or recovered, life is one big excuse to drink. Happy? Drink. Sad? Drink. Angry? Drink. Anxious? Drink. Depressed? Drink. etc, etc.

Stop focusing on what makes you drink, and start focusing on how you will deal with it differently than you did in the past.

For many people this means going to an AA meeting, calling a sponsor, speaking with other recovered alcoholics (live or on SR), doing service work to help others.

Not putting yourself in situations will only go so far because eventually you will end up around alcohol. Then what?

You have to get out of your own head and find something different. Your way didn't work.

Sasha4

I think the longer I am sober, the less the excuses enter my head.

I feel strong enough now that if a friend brings a bottle of wine into my home and leaves it, it can sit in the fridge for months and months. It does not shout to me in the middle of the night like it used to.

I also do not see drink as a reward/way to commiserate now.

A bad day at work is more likely to lead to a new dress these days.

A good day at work means a new Disney DVD for me and my daughter or pizza for tea!
This is from someone who thought the world was ending if a bus turned up late and would go off on a massive bender as an excuse.

Maybe in addition to this, there is not the need to make as many excuses to drink as there are not as many bad days due to not drinking. I don't let people down as much, I work harder, I am more productive, there are less rows and arguments than the dark drinking days. Things seem to go better.

I don't know if it was something I consciously did in the early days - reminding myself out loud not to find an excuse to drink, to do something else, or think another way - but it has become a subconscious thought process now.

I just don't equate things the same way with drinking as I used to do.

It has taken time, it did not happen straight away, but it does happen I promise.

soberlicious

but of course! It's the nature of the beast so to speak. It will never tire of doing it's job and the excuses will come in any and all forms. I don't look at the excuses individually, as if they are each different...I dismiss the entire lot of them.

Any thought that suggests drinking is dismissed as a stupid idea. Because it is.

I would also recommend the strategies outline in AVRT. You may find them ueful.

overcomer32

Helpful thread, thx for the posts.

haribo158

Thanks a lot for the advice, while every day has new challenges I will have to face, I went out for lunch just now and a friend continually urged me to drink, my brain came up with the excuse-well my class for today was cancelled and it is friday....-but then i went straight back to thinking rationally, and said none for me!

deeker

I typed this up and hung it on by bathroom mirror. I use the the bathroom often so I read it often. Maybe one on the fridge too. It makes you think. God Bless you!

We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.
We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.
We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.
We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.
We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.
We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.
We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.