hit rock bottom
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 27
hit rock bottom
I posted on here previously that I got a 2nd DUI. I havent been arraigned yet but it's coming, and so is my license suspension. now, all that sucks but i lived within walking distance from work so I decided I could still make things work, but this Monday I got let go from my job I've had for the past 3 years (it was not directly alcohol related, although I was still struggling to quit and was a nightly heavy drinker so it may have actually something to do with it) so now I am jobless and facing some serious consequences of a 2nd DUI. First of all, I had been needing a roommate to stay ahead on my finances because this year was going to be rough enough as it was. Then, when I lost my job, well that just completely sunk those plans. Now I have to move back in with my mother for possibly a year or even longer. I am 32. It felt like the only thing I had going for me was my job and when I lost that, I went on a major binge. I had already been struggling with wathdrawal if I would even so much as miss one day without drinking.
My only phone was my work cell phone and when they took that away, I had no way to contact anyone except through Facebook. So I contacted my mom and told her the news. And when she came to my apartment I was passed out. She eventually got me to come to and she made me pack a few things and ride with her to her house and to leave my car behind. I am still having trouble coming to terms that this is going to turn into a semi-permanent thing. "The important thing for you to focus on right now is getting through the withdrawals. Maybe we should call a detox center." I agreed on the first part, but I declined the second and simply told her to watch over me and we will call the ER if it gets to be too bad.
I figured, well my life already feels like it is over and alcohol is to blame for most of it, I'm sure. Ive lost girlfriends, about to lose my driving privelages, about to face some heavy community service, fines and something new on my criminal record, and now my job. What else have i got to lose? Im going to kick this thing.
Well, I am about to hit 60 hours of not drinking, the first time in a few years. Only, a few years ago when I went a whole week without drinking, I experienced zero withdrawal. Not this time. The shakes, chattering teeth, cold sweats (its very thick, oily, SMELLY sweat, too!!! Her guest bed has been soaked in the mornings and would stink up the room), muscle spasms, extreme anxiety, etc. Insomnia hasnt been too bad but only because Im taking trazadone to help me sleep. I have also just started Celexa for depression and bouts of panic but its probably still too early to have kicked in yet. I will be happy when I hit 96 hours not drinking. then I'll be allowed to go get my car, grab some more things and drive back to her place.
I still feel hopeless about whats to come this year, when and if I'll find a job and face the whole court thing, and wonder I'll have any transportation at all. Alcohol has made me start all over in life at 32. It sucks.
But.... at least I can start again.... sober. At 60 hours in, the withdrawal is still very much there (the tremors have died down a lot though), but its made me realize just how bad alcohol is to my body that I dont ever want to go through this again. I would hope that at this point, a trip to the ER won't be necessary. I'm going to get through this week and then next week I'm going to start looking for community service to get started on while I still have my driving privelages, file for unemployment and start a new job search. Just gotta push on through!!!! WISH ME LUCK!!!!
My only phone was my work cell phone and when they took that away, I had no way to contact anyone except through Facebook. So I contacted my mom and told her the news. And when she came to my apartment I was passed out. She eventually got me to come to and she made me pack a few things and ride with her to her house and to leave my car behind. I am still having trouble coming to terms that this is going to turn into a semi-permanent thing. "The important thing for you to focus on right now is getting through the withdrawals. Maybe we should call a detox center." I agreed on the first part, but I declined the second and simply told her to watch over me and we will call the ER if it gets to be too bad.
I figured, well my life already feels like it is over and alcohol is to blame for most of it, I'm sure. Ive lost girlfriends, about to lose my driving privelages, about to face some heavy community service, fines and something new on my criminal record, and now my job. What else have i got to lose? Im going to kick this thing.
Well, I am about to hit 60 hours of not drinking, the first time in a few years. Only, a few years ago when I went a whole week without drinking, I experienced zero withdrawal. Not this time. The shakes, chattering teeth, cold sweats (its very thick, oily, SMELLY sweat, too!!! Her guest bed has been soaked in the mornings and would stink up the room), muscle spasms, extreme anxiety, etc. Insomnia hasnt been too bad but only because Im taking trazadone to help me sleep. I have also just started Celexa for depression and bouts of panic but its probably still too early to have kicked in yet. I will be happy when I hit 96 hours not drinking. then I'll be allowed to go get my car, grab some more things and drive back to her place.
I still feel hopeless about whats to come this year, when and if I'll find a job and face the whole court thing, and wonder I'll have any transportation at all. Alcohol has made me start all over in life at 32. It sucks.
But.... at least I can start again.... sober. At 60 hours in, the withdrawal is still very much there (the tremors have died down a lot though), but its made me realize just how bad alcohol is to my body that I dont ever want to go through this again. I would hope that at this point, a trip to the ER won't be necessary. I'm going to get through this week and then next week I'm going to start looking for community service to get started on while I still have my driving privelages, file for unemployment and start a new job search. Just gotta push on through!!!! WISH ME LUCK!!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: inland empire ça
Posts: 71
Sorry to hear.. Im in the same boat. Bout 49 hrs sober having withdrawls also.. Im 39 and live in sisters garage.. I was going to school but stopped cause i was still drunk n the morning.. Im going back to school monday.. Just try n stay sober and hopefully things will turn around.. Good luck
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: salt Lake
Posts: 488
Hi Fish, Wow that is a lot of stuff going on. I do wish you luck but its not luck that is going to help you. Its your willingness to make a lot of changes and have some faith.
And about feeling like your life is over. Is it possible Fish, that it is just beginning?
Everything happens for a reason. Stay strong and keep checking in here. My prayers are with you.
And about feeling like your life is over. Is it possible Fish, that it is just beginning?
Everything happens for a reason. Stay strong and keep checking in here. My prayers are with you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 27
Sorry to hear.. Im in the same boat. Bout 49 hrs sober having withdrawls also.. Im 39 and live in sisters garage.. I was going to school but stopped cause i was still drunk n the morning.. Im going back to school monday.. Just try n stay sober and hopefully things will turn around.. Good luck
Dont the hours seem to go by so slowly? thats why I am not counting number of days just yet... it seems so overwhelming so far to be taking it "one day at a time". at least for me it is. so i say "12 hours at a time, just 12 hours at a time" because when i count the hours it just feels like an easier goal for me.
Thanks! Hang in there! We'll make it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 27
Hi Fish, Wow that is a lot of stuff going on. I do wish you luck but its not luck that is going to help you. Its your willingness to make a lot of changes and have some faith.
And about feeling like your life is over. Is it possible Fish, that it is just beginning?
Everything happens for a reason. Stay strong and keep checking in here. My prayers are with you.
And about feeling like your life is over. Is it possible Fish, that it is just beginning?
Everything happens for a reason. Stay strong and keep checking in here. My prayers are with you.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Leeds, England
Posts: 17
Hey Fish,
youve started the right way and you can do this !!!!
as youve said , what else have you got to lose, look at it as everything now is a step upwards, you cant drive ?, you get to walk around and apreciate everything around you?, you dont work ?read , learn, enjoy spending some time with your mum, learn some new skills , new hobby, whatever,
sounds like your in the right place with your mum and and you can get better from there, 32 isnt old man, you got a lot of years ahead of you,
use this as an opportunity to set yourself up for that life,
its a new day, learn from your past but dont live in it
youve started the right way and you can do this !!!!
as youve said , what else have you got to lose, look at it as everything now is a step upwards, you cant drive ?, you get to walk around and apreciate everything around you?, you dont work ?read , learn, enjoy spending some time with your mum, learn some new skills , new hobby, whatever,
sounds like your in the right place with your mum and and you can get better from there, 32 isnt old man, you got a lot of years ahead of you,
use this as an opportunity to set yourself up for that life,
its a new day, learn from your past but dont live in it
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 27
just hit 72 hours which was something i never thought possible to do on my own, and I probably wouldn't have done it if I were alone at my own apartment. very fidgety this morning, still waking up with bed sheets and my clothes soaked with sweat, still a little shaky but I know I am always one step closer with each passing hour and I have really no desire to drink as long as I dont have to do anything to cause my anxiety to flare up. In a way, not having a job or any responsibilities this week is probably the best time to do this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
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Sorry to hear.. Im in the same boat. Bout 49 hrs sober having withdrawls also.. Im 39 and live in sisters garage.. I was going to school but stopped cause i was still drunk n the morning.. Im going back to school monday.. Just try n stay sober and hopefully things will turn around.. Good luck
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Join Date: Nov 2010
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just hit 72 hours which was something i never thought possible to do on my own, and I probably wouldn't have done it if I were alone at my own apartment. very fidgety this morning, still waking up with bed sheets and my clothes soaked with sweat, still a little shaky but I know I am always one step closer with each passing hour and I have really no desire to drink as long as I dont have to do anything to cause my anxiety to flare up. In a way, not having a job or any responsibilities this week is probably the best time to do this.
Fast forward one year later, and I am back in college and making plans for a happy and healthy life. Hang in there, it does get better.
The only true "Rock Bottom" is 6 feet under.
Yep.
Even though it may seem like you are at rock bottom, the elevator can still go down several more floors, Sounds to me like you have food, shelter, internet access and a supportive mother.
You can also find a lot of support in AA, since you've got time on your hands you should check it out.
Yep.
Even though it may seem like you are at rock bottom, the elevator can still go down several more floors, Sounds to me like you have food, shelter, internet access and a supportive mother.
You can also find a lot of support in AA, since you've got time on your hands you should check it out.
Hey there,
I know how you feel with the w/d symptoms...they'll get better and you never have to go through them again unless you choose to.
Like Zebra said, think about checking out an AA meeting or two. They're really a big help, especially early on. Take care and best wishes. Good luck with the arraignment hearing, be humble and sincere and it will go fine.
I know how you feel with the w/d symptoms...they'll get better and you never have to go through them again unless you choose to.
Like Zebra said, think about checking out an AA meeting or two. They're really a big help, especially early on. Take care and best wishes. Good luck with the arraignment hearing, be humble and sincere and it will go fine.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 27
Thanks everyone! I woke up this morning for the first time not sweating the bedsheets. Tremors have almost stopped (if I hold out my hands there is a very very teeny tiny amount of shaking still but it's not really noticeable unless you're really looking for it , so that's good!). I expect that to linger for a little while longer but I'm ok with that because it's not anywhere near as bad as it was and I'm no longer getting chills either. My appetite has returned to normal too.
I am having bad dreams which I hear is common but they havent been about drinking. The bad dreams are about losing my job and not being able to find another one quite as good. I'm a computer technician with 6 years experience but I worry that 2 DUI's on my record will hurt my chances of employment. I would like to think, even so, I would still be hireable, right? I mean that much experience and technical knowledge should outweigh those smudges on my record, right? Or do you think I'll still have trouble?
I am having bad dreams which I hear is common but they havent been about drinking. The bad dreams are about losing my job and not being able to find another one quite as good. I'm a computer technician with 6 years experience but I worry that 2 DUI's on my record will hurt my chances of employment. I would like to think, even so, I would still be hireable, right? I mean that much experience and technical knowledge should outweigh those smudges on my record, right? Or do you think I'll still have trouble?
fish
hay you are 32, you are still a young buck. i lost my job also. but you got to where you were before, well you can do it again. this time without alcohol. i lost my nice job, and almost my house. but i stopped and i gained it all back slowily. you can do it bro!!! join the chat room and talk to some of us.
hay you are 32, you are still a young buck. i lost my job also. but you got to where you were before, well you can do it again. this time without alcohol. i lost my nice job, and almost my house. but i stopped and i gained it all back slowily. you can do it bro!!! join the chat room and talk to some of us.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 47
I was in your exact position. Staring down the barrel of a 2nd DUI, no job, huge student loans and no clue what I was going to do. It seemed an impossible situation.
I stayed sober and am now almost 10 years sober. I dealt with the DUI (went to jail), went to school, got a career, started my own biz ... it took nearly 10 years but it definitely got better. Had I continued drinking, I'd probably still be in jail, broke and homeless.
The best thing you can do is stay sober. You can deal with the no job and legal issues ... they will pass. As long as you stay sober and take it one day at a time, you will feel better and things will get better. Hang in there.
I stayed sober and am now almost 10 years sober. I dealt with the DUI (went to jail), went to school, got a career, started my own biz ... it took nearly 10 years but it definitely got better. Had I continued drinking, I'd probably still be in jail, broke and homeless.
The best thing you can do is stay sober. You can deal with the no job and legal issues ... they will pass. As long as you stay sober and take it one day at a time, you will feel better and things will get better. Hang in there.
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