Is rehab the right choice?
 

I am trying to decide if I need to go to rehab or not. I have had a falling out with my spouse (because of my drinking), and I am wondering if rehab is the right decision. I think I might need to go away for a while in order to actually stop drinking. I have lost just about everything this last year due to my addiction, and I cant seem to stay stopped.

I guess what I am looking for people with some insight on this subject. Maybe some of you have had an experience with rehab that you would be kind enough to share? I don't know if I would be able to get sober through only AA, as I also have a history of depression and it runs in my family. I really do want to quit, but I am extremely depressed at the moment due to circumstances out side of my control. I generally feel trapped, as the only thing that makes me feel better (or not feel at all actually) is alcohol. I was prescribed anti depressants last year but they made it worse and I reacted really strangely to them.

How do I know if rehab is the right decision for me? I am not sure if I really have any other option at this point, I just don't want my professional reputation to be ruined in the future because of rehab.

Your professional reputation will most likely be ruined by perhaps not going to rehab. Your personal life is already being ruined, guess what's next?

I say this because I have been to rehab, and it was the best thing for me. My personal life was already a dead wreck, my professional life was a disaster (I was unemployable because of my alcoholism) and I had been arrested. Suicide was on the menu for me. Rehab was 12-step based, so I was immediately involved in AA. And yes, AA is all I needed then, and now, to get sober. I got a sponsor and worked the steps, and I was able to rebuild my personal and professional life to places I never thought possible! And it can be for you as well. :)

I don't think anyone can answer that question for you Goldiilocks.

The only thing I can suggest is speak to as many people as you can, ring around, listen to what people have to say.

Try other things too - who's to say rehab need be your only option?

If you haven't tried AA yet it's probably worth a try too. There's also many non 12 step recovery groups.

If you feel you're depressed have you seen a Dr?

D

I would suggest you talk to the doctor that prescribed your depression meds and ask them for advice on your drinking and maybe to adjust or change your prescription. I know a number of people in recovery with either major depression, bipolar, hypomania or schizo-affective disorders who all tell of how long it took to have their medications tuned in so they got some relief. It also appears the last several years have seen major improvements to those drug therapies.

So your doctor is your first line of solid medical advise. If you have a choice of going to a rehab, and can afford it, go for it. But certainly ask your doctor, and you can ask them to keep your request for help private and keep your anonymity.

What I did was go to a beginners AA meeting, raise my hand and tell a room full of strangers that I was alcoholic, I was licked and needed help.

Above all else you deserve kudos for coming here and admitting to a bunch of strangers that you need help! You are on your way!

Alcohol is a depressant. It feels like a solution to our depression, but in fact, it causes it. And while anti depressants help some, they're not the solution for everybody. A rope around my neck (extension cord actually) is what got me into recovery, and it took about 4 years of deep dark depression before I got that cord around my neck. Thankfully, I didn't have the guts to follow through.

I went to a detox. Got immediately into AA, and a month into sobriety I knew I wasn't going to make it. I got myself into a rehab without picking up a drink, and 28 years later I'm still sober. Without medication.

As already mentioned, not going to a rehab is most likely more dangerous to your job than going. Outside of your concerns with work, I see no good reason NOT to go to a rehab. There are laws that protect you from anyone knowing that your admitting yourself, but I don't know your circumstances, nor how your job would react to your getting help. There are hundreds of factors involved, and only you can decide what's best with that. Or give more info and let people here help you sort it out. How important is the job? Can you take a month long vacation? Are they supportive of people getting treatment for alcohol and drugs? Many places are.

Last note. When I went into the rehab there were about 32 of us there. We were told that if 2 of us stayed sober for over a year, it would be a lot. Most people had already been in rehab several times before. I was determined to have it be my first and last, and thus far I've succeeded. I was wide open to anything and everything they suggested. I listened hard, and put into action as many of the suggestions they offered that I possibly could. I walked out of the rehab with a big box full of tools for life and sobriety. It was up to me however whether I was going to use them or not. A lot of people don't. I presently have a hospital commitment where I bring AA meetings to a rehab near my house. It's sad that I can see a lot of people are going to walk right back out and do what they've always done. It doesn't have to be that way. Can be a one shot deal. I wish you the best.

I needed rehab.

I tried for almost 2 years to get sober, and I continued spiraling downward, hitting new lows.

I finally wasn't functioning on any level, barely making it to work, and about to lose my job and career that I worked hard for.

I needed to step back out of life for a few weeks and focus entirely on getting well.

Like paul99, my rehab was also 12 step based, and I continue to use the program and fellowship of AA to keep me sober.

So for me, it was the best thing I ever did for myself.

I hope you can find your way to recovery, no matter what path you choose.

All the best,

SD

Many employers will help with rehab if you tell them that you know you have a problem with drinking, once you admit to them and your job is on the line from what I hear many will even put you though rehab. At least thats what I have been told by many who were sent by an employer... most likly they already know... and will be happy that you reconize it and what to try and change...

I think this book will be very helpful to you:

Inside Rehab: The Surprising Truth About Addiction Treatment-and How to Get Help That Works

Someone above said that "your reputation will be ruined BEFORE" if you don't get help, and that is very very true.

I went to treatment, but my reputation and job were gone by then. I'd have gone sooner if I knew that now. I'm happy with my road ahead, so maybe I was one of those people that needed to hit rock bottom. Sounds like you're in a pretty bad place too and could do with some treatment. I'd recommend it, just speaking from my experience.

It shows you are taking it seriously, it's to be respected. You are not going to let this disease take you down - and my hunch is that you know it will if you don't do this. Treatment really, really saved me. I talked my way around it for a while but my family stood firm and told me they loved me and they would not let me walk away from it.

Good luck, I hope you go.

what ever gets you sober is the right choice. good luck

My parents know that I have a drinking problem (I have put them through hell and back when I used to live at home because I started drinking heavily at the young age of about 15ish and I was very reckless), but since I moved out of the house and to a new city 4 years ago they most likely think that my problem has gotten better or gone away. I called my mom yesterday in tears and told her that it's most likely over between my husband and I. I have always acted like things were okay up until yesterday. When my husband and I got together 7 years ago we both were heavily drinkins, but about a year ago he has gotten straight and I have spiraled down very fast. I have no family or friends over here besides him.... I am scared to bring up the notion of rehab-- I dont have medical insurance nor do I have the funds but my parents do. I would feel guilty to use their money though for a problem that I have gotten myself into by my bad life choices. I also am ashamed to tell them, I feel like a failure, and that is the last thing I want to be in their eyes.

I think I am going to move back in with them... I am in the middle of my semester here at school, and that is why there is a conflict of interest. My husband wants to move back home too but says he will wait until May to do so, that way I can finish the semester. The thing is, the place where I am at, I see no hope of me getting better if I stay here, and I don't know if I will be alive much longer if I continue in the direction I am going. Not trying to be dramatic, but I am able to realize how out of control my life is. I feel out of place in this city and I have no problem with going to AA meetings in my home town, but over here I feel very awkward. I am a minority where I live and I am tired of the preconceived notions people have toward me. I do not feel comfortable here. Whenever I visit my home town I have attended meetings and always felt very great, i just wish i could have the courage to keep it up over here. The culture is different though in this city and I feel very ostracised.

As far as the job thing, I dont have a job right now but I am going to school for a very competitive program in nursing. I am not in the program yet, I have almost completely the pre-requisites, but I would hate to go to rehab and get my life on track only to find out that I cant complete my goals or dreams based on the fact that I went to rehab. I would most likely be working in hospitals or state owned institutions, therefore if I went to rehab or a state funded rehab, my worries are that my name will be marked and the state will have that information on me, and will be able to disclose it with future employers.

Thank you for the responses... At this point I feel so much desperation and I am watching my life crumble before my eyes... I dont know what to do and that is the scariest part.

It was the best decision I have made. I couldn't have done it any other way. It sounds like a very good option. If you can do it - then I say go. Do something Goldilocks - Good Luck!

I don't know if rehab is the right choice but.....

When things started getting out of hand for me, I decide that there had to be a reason for my drinking.
I spent thousands and thousands on a private counsellor trying to find the reasons I drank so much.
She would listen for hours about my tales of woe.
She always seemed to agree that I was right about my feelings of resentment, anger and hurt and that yes they were a reason for my drinking.
Then she we would finish the session by agreeing to reduce the amount I drank by one vodka a night.

But I always seemed to make one step forward, two steps back.

There were still blackouts, sneaking drinks, rows about my drinking.

I remember one christmas eve. The thought suddenly entered my head that if I did not drink as much, I would not feel as bad as I did, or the bad things would not keep happening.

I had been spending more and more time here, and perhaps less time with her.

In the end we drifted apart and the sessions stopped.

On the 14th of Feb 2013, I did my first year sober.

I suppose I am trying to say there are fancy, expensive ways of trying to get sober. There are free ways to get sober. And what it really boils down to is physically stopping drinking. For me, the expensive way did not work. There was no earth startling reason for me drinking. I drank because I was a drunk.
In hindsight I wish I had saved the money and invested it and done more in AA and SR. I think recovery has very similar principles, it might just be the food and venue that is more sophisticated.

But that is just me and my perspective....!

I don't know how it works in the US...but I know I'd rather go to rehab before I became a nurse, than having to go after....

Think about all your options, GL :)

D

AA works great on depression. Why not give it a try. Its working for me.

My recovery began in a 90 day rehab.

All the best.

Bob R

I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure nobody can turn you down for a job because you successfully completed rehab while in college. In my experience I could not ever give myself an honest try on my own. I needed some kind of structure, and at least get some skills that I needed to come up with a plan. I got that at treatment, among other things. Good luck no matter what, I think it's great you're pondering the subject.

Why not go to an AA meeting tomorrow?

Your going to have to wait to go to rehab whatever you decide.

You can go to an AA meeting tomorrow, no wait, no fee, no committing to anything.

I always feel a lot better and a lot more peaceful after a meeting. The situation does not feel so bleak.

Just one meeting tomorrow?

xx

There is one at 12pm where I am located tomorrow. I am going. I was scared in the past but I honestly have nothing to lose at this point, not even pride. Thanks.

I am an advocate of rehab, it helped me. I was in a state of deep anxiety and depression and the only thing that seemed to help at the time was alcohol. It did help in the short term, but as you know it only added fuel to the fire in the long term. I entered a short term inpatient rehab that lasted 10 days. I learned a lot and left with a lot of tools and the determination to give sobriety a serious attempt. I've been sober over a year now, my depression and anxiety are practically gone. It was a hard decision to go, but the best one I've ever made.

Goldi,

Here is my favorite link about What to Expect at Your First AA Meeting. Take a look, it will probably make you feel more comfortable about the idea of going.

I've been sober four and a half years in AA. When I went to my first meeting, the day after my last drink, I made a deal with myself. I committed to going to 90 meetings in 90 days. I decided that if I did not stay sober that my "Plan B" was rehab, to get a more concentrated dose. I never had to go to Plan B. I never picked up another drink.

And life keeps getting better...