goldiilocks

I went to my first meeting yesterday. I was greeted as I pulled into the parking lot by some man in his 40s wearing sweats talking about how he just got out of prison. Got out of the car and started walking towards the entrance only to backtrack and go sit in my car. I had to really pull myself together to get into that meeting. Then the weird guy followed me and was telling me that I should go in blahblahblah that I was there for a reason, and I felt like we were making a scene. A meeting had just ended (went from 11-12) and I was there for the 12:10, so there were a lot of people outside. So, I couldnt have just left as I wanted to (the guy in sweats was not the quiet type, he was more the overbearing kind). I dont know if he almost scared me away or scared me inside but it worked and I even said a couple of words as the meeting went on. I wasnt the only newcomer and that really helped. Got a desire chip. Though they were out of the official chips and gave me a white poker chip instead... Fine by me, it doesnt have to be fancy, its just the meaning behind it. I wrote in marker the date 2/21. It was a small meeting maybe 10-12 people.

Needless to say I returned today at the same time as yesterday (12:10). I also had my first appointment with a counselor about my depression today. Some of the same people were at the meeting as yesterday, but it was a bigger group. I'm going to do 90 meetings in 90 days and if that doesn't work then I will go to rehab as my plan-b as someone on here said earlier. There is a ladies only meeting on Sunday and I hope I find someone who would not mind sponsoring me who I feel comfortable with.

Parents are coming to visit tomorrow... I havent told them about the AA thing. They don't drink though, and I am not sure I am going to tell them. The counselor suggested it, but I dont know if I want to make them more worried than they already are.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the responses.... I am probably going to stay on this thread as I can follow it in the next couple of months and update everytihng that is going on instead of starting a new thread. Unless thats against the rules of course or bothers anyone.

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a wonderful sober Friday night.

paul99

That's great to hear. Wonderful.

You'll get all types, of course, and that is what I love about AA.

Good luck and I look forward to hearing about your journey - it's a fantastic path you're on.

goldiilocks

Thank you so much Paul for responding! I got sad and started to feel as though no one really cared about the journey I am choosing to embark on. I really appreciate your comment.

Keep on keeepin on! *singing*

Jupiterll

Rehab does clean a person up , but it won't be long lasting unless you admit why you over drink - it can go back to childhood - adult stress you will always encounter - get what bugs you out, and you'll be ok - once your brain has crossed the line with a physical path way in it your still an alcoholic for life , most don't want to here this , accept the problem, it's permanent, and do your best to stay away from the poison.

alcoholics wife

My AH tried AA meetings which he attended on several occasions and was never comfortable there. He didn't like the crowd and thought "I'm not like these people". He didn't like that others tried to approach him and just felt like a fish out of water. Back then he didn't think he needed rehab and thought he didn't need AA either and that he can do it on his own.

He quit cold turkey for a few months, but relapsed.

He had also seen a doctor to prescribe him anti-depressants. The first drug the doctor prescribed him made him feel very weird so the doctor took him off the drug and prescribed another anti-depressant which was better.

After failed attempts to stop drinking on his own, he realizes he needs rehab. He's checking in this week.

Jupiterll

In the back of any alcoholic 's mind they'd still would like to be a social drinker - when the line is crossed with your brain pathways you can't go back - as a wife it changes your social ways also , you may have to let some friends go - very difficult to do - in support you'll both now have to stay away from social drinking - BBQ's, Christmas , family get together's - that's stress on to it's self - no choice - all or nothing - no in between's - it'll be very hard .

alcoholics wife

I need to adjust to a different lifestyle as well. I do enjoy having nice cocktails on a patio from time to time, Family BBQ's and Christmas celebrations with good wine.

Stooper

You have read all good suggests in these reply posts. One more I would like to add. You might want to find out if you are co-occurring ( a person who is both mentally ill and suffering with addiction), or a person who's main problem is addiction. To do this requires enough clean time to be able to tell the difference. It would be beneficial for you to find a doctor versed in addiction medicine. While doing this it is imperative that you remain clean from all mind altering substances. You must establish good support systems (i.e. AA), supportive non-using friends and family, and appropriate out-patient programs (if you qualify) to assist you in staying clean while you determine where you stand with your disorder(s). One last thing. Develop a true respect and love for yourself, for people who truly love themselves can't hurt themselves. And this love spills over to other people and things in your life. If you really want this you can do it. Don't be afraid, just do what needs to be done. My love and prayers to you.

Hawkeye13

I wonder if goldilocks got help and quit?
This post is from 2013 and I haven't seen her around here

I hope she did get sober

Stooper

I hope she attained sobriety as well.

fini

Jupiter,

i haven't found i need to stay away from events, be they BBQ, Christmas, B-Days...
i was edgy in the beginning and i decided not to go to a few, but most certainly i don't stay away from social occasions now where others are drinking socially.

not saying this to argue, but sharing my experience, which i don't believe to be unusual, just so people don't believe it will be an ongoing hardship and they'll not be able to take part in a lot of celebrations/life.

Gottalife

Not my experience either Jupiter. The problem was removed completely just as promised. Freedom from alcohol, total freedom has meant that alcohol no more influences my life and decisions than a weed in my neighbours garden. Booze is a non-issue. I have been able to go anywhere and do anything that other free people can do.

The presence of booze is not a factor, it has no influence, carries no weight.
My natural way is as a non-drinker. There is no attraction in alcohol, no illusion of fond memories. Part of my recovery enabled me to see the truth about my condition. I harbour no delusions about being able to drink, and no desire.

I have been able to live a full and satisfying life without drinking, and I have not had to live in fear of picking up. I know many people with the same experience.