aspired

So I have given up on going to AA. I gave it an honest attempt, IMO, but I have just given up. I'm not going to give details but it is only because I found it to be of no help for me (not that is can't be helpful to others, obviously, but just not for me).

I'm considering going into treatment but have no idea what to expect. I don't really talk about alcoholism with anyone other than my roommate and she told me that's the reason why my drinking has gotten to the point that it's at. I think she has a point. I don't talk about it with anyone about my drinking other than here, so I guess in a way I am in denial about confronting my drinking with someone who I can actually see in person. (not to say this place hasn't helped. It has. It helped me cut down when I first joined, then I stopped posting and my drinking got to the same level as before I joined)

So, can anyone give me a bit of insight as to what goes on at counseling? I was going to call today to set up a meeting but chickened out. I think it's because I don't want to talk to a stranger about my drinking, but then again that's that they are there for and they've heard my story thousands of times before.

I don't have health insurance but the place I've been looking at has a system where if I bring in three pay stubs a payment plan can be set up.

So what goes on at counseling sessions? How much do they cost? How long?

Maybe my first step is to branch out and discuss it with a professional. Getting health insurance would be a good second step, and dedicating myself to this decision would be my third and then I'm walking the road of sobriety, but I'm just a wimp and can't make a simple phone call.

Thanks,

Mike

flutter

Hi Mike,

Counselors vary in their techniques, so there's really not a 'normal' or 'typical'. I saw a psychologist who specializes in addiction/alcoholism. The first appt was more of a "why are you here? What do you hope to accomplish" type meeting, the next couple were examining my past from childhood on up to try to uncover anything to address there. He recommended a few books, and read them as I did and we discussed chapters in them. We talked very little about my drinking other than at the start of each appt a check in to be sure I hadn't since our last meeting. He taught me how to deal with anxiety and fear, sadness and celebration..sober. We did some guided relaxation exercises, meditation, and talked about how I would handle events in my life that would inevitably 'bring you to your knees'. I saw him for a little over 6 months.

It was really scary saying out loud why I was there, the extent of my drinking.. but he had heard it, and he was compassionate and understanding, never ever judged me.

whiskeyman

i was giving up on AA untill i got a sponsor and worked the steps, thru a step study.
if you havent worked the whole program dont give up yet

Joe Nerv

I can tell by your carefully chosen words that you're an intelligient guy, and trying to protect yourself from people trying to convince you to give AA another go. You know though that that's not going to happen.

First though, with the counseling... as flutter said, counselors differ in their techniques. I think the important thing to remember though is you're in control, not them. You're not going to be forced into saying, or doing anything. Unless you say you're suicidial, homicidal, or admit to any crime. Then I'm pretty sure there are laws they have to abide by. But I'm pretty sure your first visit will be basically about why you're there, what your drikinging habits are like, what you've tried, what's worked, what hasn't, etc. If you feel uncomdoftable you can always state that and just leave, also. Not that that would be beneficial, but the option is there.

As for the AA thing, I can easily see AA being a turn off to someone who hasn't fully decided yet that they're going to stop drinking. Used as motivation to stop, or to drink less I'd say it might not be the greatest idea. If I were on the fence about getting sober, and not yet really all that willing to talk about it, it would just make me really uncomfortable there. While I won't try to convince you to go, I will recommend that you don't completely write it off, just yet. There are many different types of meetings, and groups differ greatly. There are some meeting I love going to, and others that I'll never return too. It varies that much.

Don't know where you are in the NY area, but I'm in Brooklyn. If you're nearby and ever wanted to connect with someone at a meeting I'd be happy to meet you at one so you'd at least feel like you had a little bit of a connection. Could introduce you to others too. And I hang around easy going people, no BB Nazis types or anyone looking to convert anyone. Just regular guys and gals who choose to live sober.

soberclover

I'm a little biased because I'm a counselor but I'm also seeing a counselor right now. I'm a fan of counseling as it is a great way to talk through what is going on with someone who has either been down that road before and/or has a lot of education regarding the process. I suggest you search out an addictons counselor. In Vermont they are called Licensed Drug and Alcohol Counselor (LADC). In NY they may be something else. I love your idea about getting health insurance especially so you can take care of yourself if you are sick. As far as how long you are in counseling; really up to you. You and your counselor generally decide together. If you are matched with a counselor that you don't click with, find another. There are many out there. Good luck!

Justfor1

aspired, I would suggest to keep looking for help. Free/reduced clinic and places like that are out there but you need to search. I have not had health insurance for the past 10yrs and I have always managed. If you are prescribed medication there are ways to get the meds for free.

aspired

Thanks for the advice, guys.

I've been thinking a lot of about this today. I talked it over with my room mate and she encourages me go back to AA. It's been a few weeks since I attended a meeding but this Friday there is a meeting and I'm gonna go. It was the first meeting I ever went to, the one that I went to the most, and the one that I felt the most comfortable at. I haven't been able to go to it because of work, but I fortunately have the day off. AA does make me a bit of uncomfortable but it's only because of my personal opinions regarding certain things and certain people to whom I stubbornly opening myself up to, who I have met at different meeting places, and who have given me a feeling of ostracism within the 'regional' group. With that said I am also looking into a more secular approach, and I have found one that has meetings in my area.

I would like counseling too and I'm probably going to call tomorrow to get more details regarding financial information among other things, and also look at places that offer up free or reduced treatment. I feel I need something that's one-on-one. The place I was looking at is a place that a public defender who has helped me out in the past suggested but maybe he knows of other places to consider. (some how we became friends, which is kind of odd in a way )

One reason why counseling was so appealing to me is because I was told by the public defender is that they offer random tests, but he didn't mention if that is offered to only those who are ordered by the courts to go or everyone who admits themselves. If I can have an incentive to not drink, like worrying about random tests, I wouldn't drink. That's kind of something I'm hoping and looking for because I can trust myself not to drink if I have a reason not too; but going to AA I'd lie through my teeth about my progress. "Have you had a drink lately, Mike" "No." when I did the night before.

In a way I don't know where I am right now. I'd like to quit: the financial lost is ruining me, amongst other reasons to stop like being secluded in my bed room getting drunk while being completely oblivious as to what's going on in the real world. But, I also can't picture myself without being in that situation.

IDK. I feel like I am hopeless and helpless, and that I am completely stubborn.

And I'm a Buffalo, NY, BTW, the other side of NYC.

bigsombrero

I did a whole in-patient treatment thing, there are a few hoops to jump through and if you want them I'll share.

I am out but see an "Addiction Therapist" once per week, I called my health care insurance provider and asked for names in my area. First session was good, again a "so why are you here" and you can kind of go over your story. It helps to have someone to talk to, you'll find they are completely not judgemental at all, they see this all the time and often times are recovering addicts also. You could also talk to a psychiatrist, I am thinking of doing that again myself. They are also nice, I'd ask your healthcare provider for an addiction-centered psychiatrist if possible...