elihoping

I know it'll pass. It's just been a tough few days and I'm exhausted and so tired but too anxious to sleep. My head and feelings are driving me a bit nuts. Don't want to drink but thought it'd be a good idea to post anyway. At least I'm experiencing feelings. Hope you're all well xx

Dee74

The really great thing about recovery is bad days will always give way to good ones eilhoping

Hope tomorrow is a good one for you

D

elihoping

Thanks Dee

OneLessLonely

Eli I'm sorry you're having a tough go of it. I remember how impossible it seemed to deal with overwhelming emotions sober in the beginning. Then I realized I had been drinking to do something about them, to make them go away. When the best thing to do with them, regardless of how not fun it is, is to sit with them and experience them and let them resolve naturally. It is not fun, it can be exhausting, feel endless, but it too passes. And you just hope hope it passes into a better day the next day. The more you experience these things, the better and stronger you'll feel.

Grymt

That is so true. I believe, no, I know, it to be so. It will pass. I think contemplating equanimity and what it means to all feelings is an important factor. It can intensify the feelings but also speed their departure or change. It's really about change. Change (or impermanence) is inherent in all things (yes, I know Buddha said that) and change is always accompanied with feelings or bodily sensations. This is the nature. I think it's also something that freaks out addictive persons a lot. If I can recognise my feelings then there is a me that does so. If so there is a me that recognises a me that recognises that. So, where am I? Lost in my feelings, surfing them, or observing the surfer? 'Tis a conundrum. But who has the conundrum?
I'm some years sober but always just one day at a time. Even after a longish period of sobriety Still intense feelings come up. I know I'll get through tonight even though I'm sure it'll be one of the most difficult times I'll have had for some time partly because it'll be one of the most wonderful. Groan.

elihoping

Amazing what a night's sleep and some cheesecake can do to improve my mood! Thanks for the responses.

whiskeyman

i am at a year and half and this week has been very trying.
i have had a few moments where it felt like my drinking days, panic at every turn, anxiety and making up blockbuster movies in my head where i am the centre of it all.

but I know that this is a slippery slope and I will keep my chin up and say to the monster

NOPE, NOT TODAY

elihoping

Oh my god, I do this too! Weirdly, imagining awful scenarios is how I comfort myself when I'm trying to fall asleep. Sometimes I think I'm addicted to drama and misery.

Congrats on a year and a half. That's wonderful.

wheresthefun

When my wife does that (which is WAY too often) I try to point out to her that she is writing a script in her head, to an event that has yet to happen. Same thing, kinda sorta.

pluginjug

Hang in there. You aren't your feelings. Try observing rather than be sucked into them. Works for me ... sometimes. We all have days like that, even after years of sobriety. That's life. We alkies just like to stuff them down and away with something ... anything, but that's not living sober.

whiskeyman

i reflected last nite on what triggered all this and I know what triggered all this and I know i didnt say one serenity prayer so off i went into my own thinking

soberclover

I experience exhaustion at times too from just staying sober. The feeling "thing" is really getting me too now. I'm trying to learn to sit with my feelings rather then my usual running away from them. I'm hoping to learn where they are coming from and why. I've also been researching a lot lately on "emotional sobriety" and have found this to be really helpful. I love this website as I often realize that I'm not alone in my struggles!

Purplecatlover

I've had a rough time the past few days but I've come to realize that feelings won't kill you, though they feel as if they could. But DRINKING WILL.
The difference between a good day & a bad day is about 2 days.
Hang in there this too shall pass.
Exercise, read a book. Look at pictures YouTube videos of goofy animals. That's sure to make you smile & forget your misery for a bit, until it passes.
And it will pass.

TrixMixer

Bolded by Trix:

Just what the doctor ordered, eh, Eli??

Sobriety is a tough hill to climb. There will be days when your not sure you are going to make it, but believe in yourself and you will.

I found after I had been sober for a while all the worrying in the world wasn't going to change the outcome of some things. It is like my Life script was written upon birth, and if you look for signs they will usually give your life direction.

Sobriety is the ultimate in importance , Life usually takes care of itself. Sit back, don't worry, just watch---believe in yourself enough to know what you must do.

We are all here for you on those days you get distracted.

Sincerely,
Stay strong, Stay Sober
Trix

whiskeyman

Elihoping, cheesecake isnt for everyone, now Turtle Pie, Turtle Pie is what solved it for me. An extra big piece. lol

Jimuk

Hugs to you Eli, I hope you're feeling better hun I'm sending you a huge virtual cheese cake minus a couple large bites. ;-) x